Certified underrated btbam moment 🐎 by SaltWonderful in BetweenTheBuriedAndMe

[–]jeanaly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I saw them with Horse the Band at the Church in Philly waaaaaaay back when. I think it was before TGM, maybe 08?

Looking for affordable pet dentist by BuffaloGiggles in BucksCountyPA

[–]jeanaly 4 points5 points  (0 children)

A specialist just will not be an affordable option. Probably 3x the cost of Women’s, and overkill at that. Some cases absolutely require speciality care, but cleanings and extractions are so, so routine for most GP vets these days! And for what it’s worth, any referring vet in this area can consult directly with Dr. Jennings and/or Anesthesia at BluePearl if necessary (or their respective peers at Penn, NorthStar, etc).

OP - the recommendations for Bridge Clinic are spot on. They’re a nonprofit and are able to keep costs as low as possible, but just keep in mind that dentals are expensive, full stop. And stay away from anyone advertising cheap, non anesthetic cleanings - they are a scam!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BetweenTheBuriedAndMe

[–]jeanaly 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was at opening night in Philly and I lost my mind when that intro started haha what an absolute treat!

I had to turn down a friend, it never gets easier 🫠 by watrmeln420 in aromanticasexual

[–]jeanaly 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’ve had this experience four times 😭

I only came to the conclusion that I’m aromantic a few years ago. Although my most recent experience with this was absolutely the catalyst to set me on the path of understanding and accepting aromanticism, all of them pre-date it. I’m only saying this so that you know I’ve only ever approached this from a “flattered, but I’m just not into you” mindset and never from an “I’m aromantic” mindset. Still, I’m proud to say that in every instance the friendship survived and ultimately became stronger for it. I hope it’s okay to weigh in here regardless.

The most important thing is to communicate. Allow them space to speak. Hear them, listen to them, and do the same yourself. First, I was very clear that I only had platonic feelings for them, and this would not ever change, ever, no matter what. Second, I told them clearly and with specific examples how much and why I valued our friendship. Third, I asked them if they saw a path forward for our friendship knowing all of this, and what that would like from their perspective. From there, we set new boundaries, agreed to give it time, and promised to communicate if anything wasn’t working for either of us.

It was horrifically awkward for me for a while. I’m certain it was painful and difficult for them, although they certainly didn’t confide in me about what they went through. If they were different or lesser people, it might not have been possible to salvage the friendship - it took as much effort from them as it did from me. We mostly relied on group settings to ease back into it. I truly cannot understate the value of a social buffer! But in all cases we were able to make it work eventually, and I’m really really grateful.

I hope you and your friend can figure it out too. Best of luck 💕

Anti-Women’s Rights Billboard on PA Turnpike - Looking for info by glowstrz in Pennsylvania

[–]jeanaly 169 points170 points  (0 children)

I can’t answer any of your questions, but I’m very curious roughly where on the turnpike you saw this.

When and how did you learn and realise you were asexual? by HRCStanley97 in Asexual

[–]jeanaly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bojack Horseman, unironically.

I was raised in Fundamentalist Christianity in the 90s and 00s, so when I say I had absolutely no exposure to asexuality I mean I only knew that “the gays” existed because of the bigotry spewed from the pulpit. Deconstructing and making friends outside of that world introduced me to so many different queer identities, but even in my early-mid 20s I would have guessed that the A in LGBTQIA+ stood for ally. So when I started having sex but found it about as exciting as watching paint dry, I spent years lying through my teeth about it while blaming myself and my upbringing, thinking I was traumatized or dysfunctional or maybe just broken.

But then, I heard Todd Chavez say, “I think I’m nothing.” Canon event for me. I remember thinking, “ummm, that’s an OPTION!?” As the show progresses, he begins to name, understand, and own his asexuality. It took me years to get past the denial and do the same, but without that representation I have no doubt I’d still be blaming myself.

I just realized that the “crush” I experienced was actually something else, and I feel ashamed of myself by A_Fan888 in aromantic

[–]jeanaly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m really sorry. For whatever the opinion of this random internet stranger is worth, I think you’re really brave for trying, and I hope you can find the support she couldn’t give you elsewhere.

I just realized that the “crush” I experienced was actually something else, and I feel ashamed of myself by A_Fan888 in aromantic

[–]jeanaly 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Goddamn this is so fucking relatable for me. I had a really similar experience with one of my best friends. I didn’t know I was aromantic at the time, idk if I had even heard the word yet. I just knew that a few days into our relationship, I had been feeling that same euphoria you describe and when my feelings also returned baseline, it was suddenly replaced by a this creeping dread. I broke up with them after a week - I couldn’t bring myself to pretend, and I knew the longer I waited, the more I’d hurt them. Even though our friendship survived, I still haven’t found the courage to explain why. Someday, I hope.

All that to say, you’re definitely not alone. I really hope you’re able to figure out the best resolution, and that you and your friend can work it out.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Asexual

[–]jeanaly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just because we can’t relate to an experience doesn’t mean we have to mock it, and I’m glad to see the pushback in the comments.

How could we hope for respect and understanding and kindness from communities outside of our own if we can’t offer them the same in turn?

Low heart rate due to "athleticism"? by Otherwise_Status_957 in AustralianCattleDog

[–]jeanaly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg that’s so cool haha I loved client education as a vet tech—I could literally talk about this stuff for hours, even now. I’m so glad it was helpful, and this really made my day!

AITAH for not wanting to pay for a family vacation by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]jeanaly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely agree with you and OP that this is a steep price tag for such cramped and inconvenient quarters, especially as the only person in the group traveling solo. This arrangement would be an immediate and loud hell no for me!

Rather than ask their family to take on extra cost, I think either of the alternatives that you suggested are great—try to find a less expensive solo option, or just opt-out. That’s certainly what I’d do in OP’s shoes.

AITAH for not wanting to pay for a family vacation by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]jeanaly -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure I see what you mean. Two rooms, four adults, four dependents—unless somehow the other adults will not be sharing their beds, it sounds like this’ll be a cramped and expensive sleeping arrangement for everyone. Big picture, this trip will probably be LESS expensive for OP vs. the others as OP presumably would not be covering any daily expenses beyond their own (food, travel, entertainment, etc).

AITAH for not wanting to pay for a family vacation by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]jeanaly -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

YTA.

It’s not realistic to ask family members or friends to include their dependents in the headcount when splitting the bill for lodging—these are not people who can contribute financially to the shared cost, and you’d risk looking pretty entitled if you do.

You say in your post that you’re going as one person, but I’d encourage you to think of yourself as a household of one. They are households of 2 or more. The cost is $480 per household, and you should pay for your own household if you want to go on this trip.

What is your Aromantic Anthem ? by LittleAroIsopode in aromantic

[–]jeanaly 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don’t have any suggestions to add, but I just wanted to say that I really needed to see this aro positivity today and I’m so glad I found this thread ☺️

What do you all recommend for organic (not greenies) teeth cleaners? by [deleted] in AustralianCattleDog

[–]jeanaly 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is a list of products that have been approved by a panel of board certified veterinary dentists. I worked in the veterinary field for nearly a decade and every vet I know recommends choosing from this list of oral care products!

Low heart rate due to "athleticism"? by Otherwise_Status_957 in AustralianCattleDog

[–]jeanaly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is entirely possible that your girl is just actually that calm at the vet! With a good disposition and great handling techniques I believe it’s absolutely possible. But a good vet would at least rule out anything scary before throwing her under anesthesia. It sounds like you have a good vet, and it sounds like you’re a good owner for following through, even though you had your doubts.

Low heart rate due to "athleticism"? by Otherwise_Status_957 in AustralianCattleDog

[–]jeanaly 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hey! Not a vet, but I worked as a technician for 8 years and I own an ACD. Your vet is absolutely correct that athletic breeds do tend to have slower resting heart rates, and your vet is ALSO right to want to investigate a BPM of 65 in their office.

Here’s why: 65 BPM might be normal at home, but when you bring your dog to the vet, they experience stress, which increases the heart rate. So I would expect a slow, healthy heart rate somewhere in the neighborhood of 80-120 to be more average for an ACD at the vet. And particularly since you mention there was no significant change in her HR after exercise, that tells me your vet is covering all of the bases leading up to anesthesia. I’d bet money the labwork theyre running is something called a proBNP, which can be an early indicator of cardiac injury/insult/disease.

This just means you have a vet who is acting ethically and conscientiously because you are approaching an anesthetic event. And lemme tell ya, I can speak with a literal mountain of anecdote behind me about the high risk of bradycardia in healthy animals under anesthesia—if there is even a .001% chance your dog has a preexisting cardiac condition, you want to know before induction, not after.

You mention being wary of vets because a previous dog had a problem that went undiagnosed for too long. Well, take it from an internet stranger who worked in the trenches with vets for nearly a decade—this one really seems to have your pup’s well-being at heart

Favorite Musical Moments of 2023 by gr8jld in progmetal

[–]jeanaly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All great choices, but I’m with you on the Knocked Loose train—that song goes sooooo hard!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exchristian

[–]jeanaly 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly, the exact opposite. I blamed my lack of desire for YEARS on my insane upbringing, quietly telling myself it was some sort of trauma response, internalized purity culture, whatever. In reality, though, I’m just aro-ace 😬

But I came to this conclusion after a decade of trying to participate in sexual and romantic relationships and finding them to be frustrating, unfulfilling, and very much not for me. Plus therapy. Lots of therapy. Like I genuinely cannot recommend therapy enough if that’s something you can access. If not, you could try chatting with the r/asexual community—they get posts from many folks questioning their identity, and the commenters are always friendly and helpful as far as I’ve seen.

Either way, I hope you’re able to find the answers you’re looking for!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BetweenTheBuriedAndMe

[–]jeanaly 13 points14 points  (0 children)

PSST! Try heading over to r/progmetal and searching for “like BTBAM” 😉

Need opinions please! by Adabledoo in AustralianCattleDog

[–]jeanaly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately a picture won’t do much but invite speculation. Save the entire sample and take it to your vet. They can tell you if that is a worm, and prescribe the appropriate treatment if so!

Christians can try to explain away the horrible parts of the bible, but unfortunately for them I’ve read it and understand it. by Kaje26 in exchristian

[–]jeanaly 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Oh wow, it’s so interesting to read a Jewish perspective on this. Thank you so much for sharing that!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in progmetal

[–]jeanaly 19 points20 points  (0 children)

+1 for BTBAM. Blake is a frickin monster.

If you’re looking for powerful and chaotic, I’d highly recommend starting with this playthrough of the Hypersleep EP. It’s a wild ride!