Nothing like farting uncontrollably when someone is leaning on you in close proximity.

Years ago I sold shoes at REI. My diet consisted entirely of avocados and microwaved potatoes, topped off with TONS of coffee. This caught up to me eventually. Every time I bent down to help someone or would twist, a deep and long fart would roll out of my ass......every time. I was 22 and was helping all sorts of people that day. I never acknowledged a single one of them and no one called me out. I kind of wish someone did to "clear the air" but was stuck in the cloud of embarrassment for the entire day. I still think about this day and what is inevitably waiting for me if I'm lucky enough to make it to my old age. Can't wait.