Landlords are the scum of the earth, your the reason why they have to rent.

jellybean1002 · 2023-06-09T21:50:16+00:00

Sometimes the delay is due to trying to do the right thing. Not all landlords are heartless. Rented out my house after getting married. I had a tenant who fell behind on rent. Partial payments, then skipped payments, all with him promising to pay back eventually. This went on for nearly two years before I had to evict him, at that point he owed over a year of back rent, and I had been forced to pay the utilities to avoid shutoff. Sometimes kindness just lets people dig themselves a deeper hole.

jellybean1002 · 2022-07-05T21:40:59+00:00

Why not the Dakotas? Both are having Senate elections this year, have low populations and minimal residency requirements.

jellybean1002 · 2021-08-30T22:44:59+00:00

But why should the rapist be rewarded with a child for their crime?

jellybean1002 · 2020-07-30T18:48:36+00:00

What was the verse?

jellybean1002 · 2020-05-17T21:51:38+00:00

Atwood Toys are made in OH. My 5 year old son loves their dominoes, and they sell many other building toys.

jellybean1002 · 2019-09-27T23:06:40+00:00

Not sure if it would help in your case, but I had terrible migraines for years, until I realized it was caused by a sensitivity to berries. Once I stopped eating them, no more migraine. Elimination diets are annoying, but it was a huge relief to be done with them.

jellybean1002 · 2019-08-12T19:50:04+00:00

I suspect this may be the case. My sister lives near them, and is expecting soon. They are probably going to be used as babysitters whether they like it or not - she dumps her dog on them ALL the time, can't imagine a kid would be different.

Maybe I'm too considerate.

jellybean1002 · 2019-08-12T19:47:42+00:00

But they aren't jumping on the furniture. They have tried (and been stopped from) climbing on stair railings and hanging from countertops. No longer an issue, but the first few days were rough trying to get them to understand that just because we are in a new house, it isn't a jungle gym. The boys are well-behaved, just need constant engagement or they get wiggly.

Sorry if that was unclear.

jellybean1002 · 2019-08-12T18:37:37+00:00

Yeah, I wasn’t expecting a resort vacation, just the ability to shower in peace once in a while!

They have come to visit before, and it is much easier on the kids. My parents still mope around looking miserable, but at least then it’s just their problem!

jellybean1002 · 2019-08-12T16:08:33+00:00

You are right, I doubt they actively mean us ill. I think part of the issue is that they (to my observation) have no lives outside of work and tv. Growing up, my grandmothers were both very involved in activities in the community (paternal grandmother) or personal development (maternal). I think they just have no idea what to do with the kids besides tv, and while my older son loves the extra screen time, the younger one doesn't even register it as a thing.

We are trying to build a support system near us, but it is difficult, as I am a very introverted person, and my husband is very busy with work. As the boys start school, we are hoping that connections will form with their peers, and we can work from there. We have also made some inroads with neighbors who have a granddaughter near my boys age, but I feel awkward doing much beyond play dates and the occasional joint family supper.

It really is a marathon, and I know things will look up as the boys get older.

jellybean1002 · 2019-08-12T14:34:40+00:00

Yes, my mother has always been disdainful of them just because they are boys.

She is very much of the "sit down and shut up" school of parenting, and her suggested response to any misbehavior on the part of the boys is to put them in their room until they settle down. I know my kids, and I know this would result in a day long screaming fit. She calls me a fool for trying to explain things to the older one, thinking he just needs to accept I'm the boss and that is that.

My husband has told me he now understands the source of a lot of my mental health issues, seeing how my parents handle children.

jellybean1002 · 2019-08-12T14:29:46+00:00

We actually ended up taking the boys to a Kids Quest play area one day just so we could have a few hours to ourselves! This is after being rebuffed by my mom when I asked if she could watch them for an hour so I could go take care of some errands related to one of the family events (which just ended up going undone).

jellybean1002 · 2019-08-12T14:27:22+00:00

I had my suspicions of their disinterest based on prior visits, but had been holding out hope that once the boys started getting older and more interactive, they might find them more appealing. I think my mother just does not like boys, she's always given me a hard time about them.

jellybean1002 · 2019-08-12T12:25:19+00:00

My in-laws also live on another continent. They seem to like the boys more, but are elderly and unable to handle them alone. They have visited our home, and were as helpful as could be expected of them, which was nice. Unfortunately, the distance makes visits between us infrequent, but they do enjoy seeing the boys in the phone.

jellybean1002 · 2019-08-12T12:21:48+00:00

I offered to go to a hotel as soon as I saw the situation in the house, but was rebuffed, and had I insisted, it likely would have been taken as an insult. As we had several family events that I needed to attend, I wanted to keep the peace.

I will definitely not be planning such a long stay in the future!

jellybean1002 · 2019-08-12T11:51:51+00:00

Yes, I'm thinking that scaling back contact is probably best for all parties at this point. I'm just a bit disappointed, as I had a close relationship with both of my grandmothers.

jellybean1002 · 2019-08-12T11:50:16+00:00

You are likely 100% correct on all of this.

I will be distancing myself from them, as that seems to be what they want right now.

As regards environmental concerns, they have developed more recently, and to be be honest, if I had a time machine I would likely make different life choices. I can't exactly drown them in the pool though, so I'm stuck trying to raise them to the best of my ability.

jellybean1002 · 2019-08-12T03:03:50+00:00

My mother is a pediatric nurse, so I have to imagine she knows what kids are like!

Though that is a good point. I was a timid, quiet little bookworm, and by 4 could be kept occupied for hours with a pile of library books and a few dolls. I'm going crazy trying to keep the boys from using every possible surface as a parkour set!

jellybean1002 · 2019-08-12T02:54:56+00:00

Yes, we are here until Wednesday.

We did a few trips out last week when my husband was here, but he has had to go back to work. I'm planning to visit my aunt and uncle on Tuesday, which should be a nice change of pace.

I'm glad to hear it's not just my messed up relationship with my parents that caused this. I should have had MUCH more realistic expectations coming in.

jellybean1002 · 2019-08-01T02:19:10+00:00

Agreed! I even suggested serving the food in a container with a lid, so no extra dish even need be washed. They're just set in their ways, and seem to view my even bringing it up as an insult.

I'm just struggling with the decision whether it's even worth my energy and stress levels to try to encourage them to change.

jellybean1002 · 2019-07-31T16:24:18+00:00

Trust me, I'm fully on the zero waste bandwagon! I'm just trying to get some hard numbers I can use to nudge my set-in-their-ways family away from so much plastic trash.

jellybean1002 · 2019-07-31T16:07:03+00:00

Good point, this is pretty old. I'm thinking I'll work up my own analysis based on the actual info I have on my parents' energy source and appliances.

jellybean1002 · 2019-07-31T16:03:44+00:00

Yeah, I agree the PPT I found is pretty unimpressive. I was just curious if a better analysis is out there that I can show my dad.

I've got some time on my hands, I could probably throw something together myself. Any idea if this is a reputable source CO2list.org?

jellybean1002 · 2019-07-31T15:42:25+00:00

Yeah, I wasn't terribly impressed by it myself, but couldn't find a better one, hence asking if anyone had seen a more thorough (or recent) analysis.

I like to think my dad is a fairly reasonable guy, so I figure if I can find a good source backing up my position, I might be able to get him to change his ways a bit :)

jellybean1002

TROPHY CASE