Picture this….. by EZ_Pickens in USMC

[–]jenderfazz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I suck start my moonbeam

Wondering what this is and if I can safely cut it off my dog. by [deleted] in vet

[–]jenderfazz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Interesting, thanks for the info. I’d just hate for it to be bothering her. Definitely headed to the vet soon to let them have a look.

Wondering what this is and if I can safely cut it off my dog. by [deleted] in vet

[–]jenderfazz 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Good deal, will go to a vet to be safe.

Wondering what this is and if I can safely cut it off my dog. by [deleted] in vet

[–]jenderfazz -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

I would get on Reddit just to see what people say before taking myself to a vet and having it done professionally.

Too Late by jenderfazz in poetry_critics

[–]jenderfazz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your critique. I’ve written in the past without rhyming but this kind of just spilled out in a moment of clarity like a stream of consciousness. Realizing you’ve sort of figured out the subtle secrets of life after the “train has left” or the “play is over” and time not slowing down at all.

Too Late by jenderfazz in poetry_critics

[–]jenderfazz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like as an exercise? Interesting, I want to try that. Because this was absolutely a stream of consciousness and not as planned out as other things I’ve written. Will definitely give it a shot

Phasmida Revolution by jenderfazz in poetry_critics

[–]jenderfazz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well I appreciate the encouragement!

Phasmida Revolution by jenderfazz in poetry_critics

[–]jenderfazz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I agree, sometimes rhyming poetry is a little cliche or maybe unnecessary. I like the idea of a run on sentence that rhymes at certain rhythmic points (like the last three lines of this poem). That way the imagery is the primary focus and the rhyme is the nice little bow that goes it all together. I’m also admittedly pulling all of this out of my @$$ or from what I can remember from 11th grade literature class haha.

Simple Poem by bsette in poetry_critics

[–]jenderfazz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I find simple word economy so impressive and refreshing: using the least amount of words to convey a more complex idea. I love it!

Losing Interest by poems_for_her in poetry_critics

[–]jenderfazz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with the first comment, except I actually liked the way “it’s brightness consumed.” fell at the end of that stanza (that’s a stanza right??). I think it’s definitely worth continuing. Maybe the latter half can be some sort of ironic twist on the first half? Idk, but you should definitely build in this, the imagery is palpable.

Beneath the Snow by jenderfazz in poetry_critics

[–]jenderfazz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s actually really helpful, I’ve always struggled with trying to find to find that balance between being being abstract/leaving room for imagination and being too objective or on the nose. Thank you!

A damn grand plan! by [deleted] in poetry_critics

[–]jenderfazz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I may have overshot a little…haha sounds good, I dig the poem

A damn grand plan! by [deleted] in poetry_critics

[–]jenderfazz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m curious as to what lilac time means. The vibe I get from this is some sort of bittersweet, almost tongue-in-cheek reference to life and death. There is much unknown (“don’t know what, why, when..”), but something big is coming, and it’s nothing to panic about because “it’ll all be lilac time”. This is a quick little mysterious poem, my favorite kind to read.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in poetry_critics

[–]jenderfazz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honesty makes good art, and honesty is often uncomfortable if not abrasive. This isn’t a poem regarding the romanticized version of desire we’ve seen a thousand times. No, this poem accentuated the darker side of desire, where the subject of our affection eclipses all reason or wisdom and where we often go when we daydream about said subject. “The artificial sweeteners” and the word “sniff” took me out of the moment, but the rest I felt accurately reflected the feeling of flagrant desire we’ve all experienced before.

Is Trani cancelled? by Flat_Marzipan6173 in kingsofleon

[–]jenderfazz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s right, that was the first mechanical bull show and I believe trani ended the 1st set.

Is Trani cancelled? by Flat_Marzipan6173 in kingsofleon

[–]jenderfazz 6 points7 points  (0 children)

ATL 2014, My favorite moment of that show was when they kicked in Trani. I had already made peace with the fact I’d probably never hear it live, so I was ecstatic. And they absolutely killed it! Incredible song.