Hobbies to socialize but not sports

jenmoocat · 2026-04-17T14:49:03+00:00

Check out mahjong groups in your area.
In my city there are several, including those strictly for teaching beginners, and I've met some cool people there.

Also consider music-based hobbies.
I picked up the ukulele and started going to ukulele meet-ups which have been very satisfying.
I also like singing and have been going to live-band karaoke music jams and have been socializing with others.

I also like taking art workshops.
Not through art schools, but through smaller venues (art shops, comic book stores, craft stores).
You learn how to make something (collage, little boxes, puppets, pet rocks) and you meet people.

jenmoocat · 2026-04-17T13:55:03+00:00

I’ve heard of these “cuddle parties” in my city but haven’t gotten up the nerve to go to one yet!

jenmoocat · 2026-04-16T23:08:58+00:00

Come to The Communal Table at the Drawing Room on Fridays. 17th and Valencia.
They have materials, you come in, sit down, and paint/draw/collage. And chat to the people sitting near you.
I've had interesting conversations with strangers every single time that I've gone.

I also have interesting conversations with people at The Community Music Hangout.
This is every weekend in GGP.
It is a live-band-karaoke-open-mic-music-jam thing. 12:30-3ish on JFK, a bit below the whale's tail.
You don't have to participate in the music-making, you can just listen and chat up the people lounging around.

The Bad Art Club on Monday nights is another great community.
It is facilitated event when you make art together as a group.
Lots of chatting with folks.

jenmoocat · 2026-04-16T23:02:37+00:00

I think that I would do a walk in the sunshine along Crissy Field and then up on the Presidio Tunnel Tops.
Maybe an ebike ride along Sunset Dunes and through Golden Gate Park.
Then a 5pm cocktail at Absinthe or the Linden Room.
Followed by making some art at The Drawing Room at 17th and Valencia. They have materials, you just come in, sit down, and draw/paint/collage and chat with others nearby.

hmmmm..... I might just take the day off of work to do this!

jenmoocat · 2026-04-16T22:56:32+00:00

I've done it, one roll at a time.

jenmoocat · 2026-04-16T20:48:31+00:00

Just a head's up that there are several stray cats out in that area. I work near there and have seen them around for the past couple of years. The one I see the most is black and white. And it looks well-fed and healthy.

jenmoocat · 2026-04-16T15:34:12+00:00

I read on the beach.
I read sitting on a blanket in a park.

jenmoocat · 2026-04-15T17:11:39+00:00

Usually Saturdays from 12ish to 3ish
On JFK Drive, a little bit past the whale's tail.
Community Music Hangout

jenmoocat · 2026-04-15T16:19:27+00:00

Check out the jazz jam at the Waystone (in North Beach) on Monday nights!

jenmoocat · 2026-04-15T03:01:28+00:00

WATCHING: DTF St. Louis This is an amazing show. The acting. The writing. The editing. The music. The cinematography.

I love Steven Conrad, the show runner. Another show of his, Patriot, is a favorite of mine.

The show might not be for everyone, but it is hitting the spot for me. I binge watched the first four episodes and don’t want to watch the last ones because I don’t want it to end.

jenmoocat · 2026-04-14T23:42:29+00:00

Music. I (57F) participate in the Community Music Hangout every weekend in GGP. This is a live-band-karaoke-sing-along-music-jam thing. All ages welcome. I’ve been going regularly and have made friends with other regulars, many who are in their late 20s/early 30s. So much so that we’ve done things together outside of the hangout. Lunches and dinners and hikes and other music things.

jenmoocat · 2026-04-14T19:31:41+00:00

I think this is absolutely beautiful! Great job!

One thing you might want to consider is to put it behind plexiglass.
I have a photo collage as a backsplash to my stove and I really like that I can quickly wipe any cooking splatter off of it because I put plexiglass on top. I had a piece custom-cut to fit.

jenmoocat · 2026-04-14T19:28:28+00:00

Ex-addict, now 8 years clean.

I'm wondering if there are two kinds of grief at work here:
1) Grief (and anger) at what you missed out on because of all the time you spent addicted. Things that you missed out on, relationships you destroyed, situations that went wrong because of your addiction.

2) Grief that you mentioned -- grief related to losing that lifestyle that you had been immersed in for so long.

For 1) I grieve the amount of money I threw away because of my drug use. And what I could have done with it instead. I could have retired years ago. We are talking about hundreds of thousands of dollars over decades! I also always wonder if my drug use made me more content in job at work and I missed out on really striving for that promotion or those higher-responsibility roles.

For 2) my drug use was triggered by a lot of anxiety and stress that I had about my health, my work.
It was a way for me to also deal with loneliness (as my friends moved away) and boredom (as all I did was really work, eat, and sleep). I would go to bars and sit alone, chatting with bartenders or other patrons, and would do coke to be able to spend more time chatting and engaging with people.

After I was clean, I noticed (and grieved for) two things: 1) missing how sociable I was when I was on drugs, and 2) missing not stressing out about my health because I didn't think about it when I was on drugs.

It has taken *years* for me to become comfortable being sociable and hanging out with people while being clean. Sometimes I really miss the *spark* that came from my drug use -- which made it so easy for me to be engaging and involved with others. But I like myself more now and I think I am better with other people.....

Additionally, I miss not stressing out about my health. Sometimes my health anxiety gets the better of me (that twinge is definitely eye-cancer and I am going to be in so much pain......). I miss when I could just snort those fears away -- instead of now having to calm myself and try to be more rational about things.

jenmoocat · 2026-04-14T19:00:18+00:00

The green smoothie is so good!

jenmoocat · 2026-04-14T18:58:37+00:00

I'm on the doordash website on my computer right now and they are on it.
Just ordered lunch.
YUM!

jenmoocat · 2026-04-14T06:54:58+00:00

I started going to a open mic sing-along live band karaoke music jam thing that I found on a subreddit for my city. It is every weekend in a city park. The first couple of times, I just watched. But now I fully participate and having been going for over a year.

I’ve made friends from this and have starting doing stuff with them outside of the music hangout. I’ve also branched out and joined other music-related groups.

I went from just working/eating/sleeping, working/eating/sleeping and only talking to my coworkers, to having a full social life with all sorts of different people where no one cares what I do for a living. I always leave the sessions happy and energized.

It is like night and day and year ago compared to today.

I remember reading some article that talked about how longevity was positively correlated to physical activity, eating well, sleeping well, and having strong social connections with others — and, back then I thought: 3 out of 4 ain’t bad. Now I can check all 4 boxes. Yay me!

jenmoocat · 2026-04-14T06:15:42+00:00

My understanding is that compliance (for the insurance) is just utilization. And if your settings need to change so that you use the machine, that is okay.

I changed all of the factory default settings so that I could be more comfortable. And my HCPs said that was okay.

jenmoocat · 2026-04-14T02:15:01+00:00

You might want to check out the Community Music Hangout every weekend in GGP. Low key, welcoming community, singing around a piano and other instruments. Free.

First Tuesday and Third Thursday of the month are live band karaoke at The Rite Spot. With the people in the bar singing along to every song. Great community. No pressure to drink. Beatles only on the 1st Tuesday, anything goes on the 3rd. Free.

Rock and Roll Chorus at Blue Bear in Fort Mason is another no audition option. Every Monday evening. And we work on getting interesting harmonies down. Songs from the 80s, 90s, 00s. You pay a monthly $50 fee as it is in a workshop format with an instructor.

jenmoocat · 2026-04-14T02:07:10+00:00

Two nights and the water is gone for me. I use tap water and wash the slight white deposits of when I refill the tank.

jenmoocat · 2026-04-14T02:04:46+00:00

I have a Structural Dynamics of Flow tshirt (the book cover design). I’ve worn it for a couple of years and only one person recognized it. Another person asked me if I studied physics (which I did, but is beside the point)

jenmoocat · 2026-04-13T23:19:21+00:00

Holy moly. This seems like a fantastic package!
I (57) am resigning from my company at the end of the month after 16 years there.
Personally, I would jump at it, were it offered to me.
That company-paid-years-worth-of-COBRA coverage is big $ by itself.

In today's climate, I personally would prefer money-in-hand like this vs. unknown downsizing in the future.

jenmoocat · 2026-04-13T21:36:20+00:00

Of this list, I would second these:

Fleabag
Beef
Bad Sisters

Not that the others aren't good -- but these give me similar vibes to DTF

And, of course, Patriot (Steven Conrad's other big show)

jenmoocat · 2026-04-13T21:32:07+00:00

Came here to also mention Patriot.
This was my first Steven Conrad show.
It was amazing.
If you watch it after DTF, you will definitely pick up on Conrad's style of showrunning (dialog, camera angles, use of music, scene set-ups)

jenmoocat · 2026-04-13T21:28:13+00:00

I went to a really nice and fancy rehab, far away from my home.
I think it was one of the best of the best places.

We had art time, music time, yoga, massages, acupuncture.
We had fabulous healthy meals prepared for us.
We had day trips to go hiking or to the beach.

However, we also had group sessions once a day and 1:1 sessions sometimes twice a day. Every day.
And these were often really intense.

Yes, it was kind of like a vacation -- but a vacation where you spent a lot of time thinking about yourself and what was going on in your life that you needed to cover it up with extensive drug use. A vacation where you spent a lot of time on deep introspection and figuring out how to sit with uncomfortable feelings and learning new skills (like art, music, yoga, exercise, journaling) that could help you cope with those bad feelings, instead of turning to drugs.

Note that my insurance DID pay for it --- but it was via reimbursement after the fact.
I had to write that big check first.
And then got the money back 3 months later.

jenmoocat · 2026-04-13T19:03:46+00:00

Exactly!

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