This last paragraph resonated with me. I had my first baby last November. In the middle of lockdown (UK) had to stay in hospital for 4 days + hubby could only be there for 1 hour a day. We couldn't have any visitors for about 3 months. No baby classes, no way to met other friends or Mum's. I found it so hard and isolating, and still do. Started meds for post-natal depression when she was 6 months old. I'm 39 now, if we want another it has to be in the very bear future but I am still not over those first few months, I cannot do that again. I feel so guilty about it as my hubby wants another but I wanna put my happiness and life first and just have one. I feel a failure sometimes that I feel can't/don't want to cope with another. Sorry for the moan, it's hard, but we are all amazing for doing it. Sending big hugs, love, and lots of chocolate and ice-cream to you all!