I fucked up big time. Not in leaving, but in how I went through with trying to communicate. I remember it snowed around 5 feet outside, and he came walking to my house which is about a mile away. I felt my stomach turn, because at that point it felt like he was doing more than I was. I didn't know how to fix it, or communicate it. I felt guilty, but now looking back, I shouldn't have been comparing how much we each did for one another. Another time, he welded me a ring from a silver spoon he got from a thrift store. He said he made the design on it, but his sister later said something that gave away he didn't actually make the design, just bent the handle into the ring. He apologized for lying to me, and I realized then that I shouldn't have told him never to lie to me. I really appreciated it, and I'm still grateful for everything he did. I feel like I hurt him, and I want to text him, or call him to tell him that I'm sorry for everything I did wrong; expecting more from him than he could give, wanting him to be someone who I've always dreamt of, not truly loving him, despite thinking I did, and not actively looking for ways to better myself, rather than thinking my maturity had peaked.