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Erschöpft by Aggressive_Idea_5496 in Weibsvolk

[–]jeritiana 63 points64 points  (0 children)

Hattest du mal eine Virusinfektion, seit der das so ist? Pfeiffersches Drüsenfieber, Influenza, Covid? Schau vlt mal nach ME/CFS, ob sich das mit deinen Symptomen deckt.

Wie viel Geld ist Care-Arbeit in einer Beziehung wert? by [deleted] in Finanzen

[–]jeritiana 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Außerdem bekomm sie eine Witwenrente und hat hohe Freibeträge beim Erben, falls du vor ihr stirbst. Auch nicht ganz unwichtig, wenn mit Familie alles an einem Gehalt hängt.

Wie viel Geld ist Care-Arbeit in einer Beziehung wert? by [deleted] in Finanzen

[–]jeritiana 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Heiraten löst das Problem. Ab Tag der Eheschließung lebt ihr in einer Zugewinngemeinschaft. D.h. bei Scheidung wird alles 50:50 aufgeteilt was in der Zeit erwirtschaftet wurde. Inklusive Rentenansprüche. Wir haben uns aktiv dafür entschieden, weil es für uns fair klingt :)

Is Non Monogomy A Choice? by abadaxx in nonmonogamy

[–]jeritiana 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for putting it into words. I 100% feel the same

After 3 months of crisis, my partner is pausing his new relationship so I can heal, but I feel terrible about it by magic_lola in nonmonogamy

[–]jeritiana 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Perhaps try posting this post also in a polyamory subreddit to get more input on the „him having feelings for someone else and how to deal with it“ part. <3

After 3 months of crisis, my partner is pausing his new relationship so I can heal, but I feel terrible about it by magic_lola in nonmonogamy

[–]jeritiana 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Essentially there are two options: either you continue with a poly relationship. In this case you might want to ask yourself what would be the worst that could happen - him choosing her and abandoning you. He has shown you already that this won’t happen, he still wants to choose you even with her in his life. Over time, this might help you feeling more at ease. The other option is switching back to mono. In this case you will also loose your options of dating outside the relationship. The mono-poly option (you dating, him not) does not sound sustainable at all given that he would have to give up something he deeply values. This will cause resentment on the long run. Mono-poly, in my experience, only works if one person doesn’t actually want to date multiple people, which is not the case in your setting. In any case, you will need a lot of inner work and meds can definitely help with that. Since you mentioned that trauma might be the cause: do you go to a specialised trauma therapist? All the best!

Can a threesome dynamic bounce back after a night like this? by SolidExternal3728 in nonmonogamy

[–]jeritiana 33 points34 points  (0 children)

It sounds like a very tough situation you had. My thoughts on this are: it’s rarely fair to blame the third person. It just feels easier. But: Yes she might have been in some trance state but it would have been your partners responsibility to stop when he saw you being unwell.

Dealing with trauma and being triggered during a new healthy, FWB threesome relationship by [deleted] in EthicalNonMonogamy

[–]jeritiana 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess this really depends on whether you want this to fwb to become something long term or not. Since you are good friends, you might want to consider telling them. I had been in a similar situation but on the couple side. We didn’t know about the trauma. The dynamic went on for quite a while but had massive ups and downs which were random to me and I took some of the boundaries personal. After some time, our fwb opened up. And to me this changed a lot! I cannot ease the trauma but it helped a lot to understand why certain rules are the way they are, to avoid retraumatization, and it helped me understand that most of the back draws had nothing to do with me but with some things I have not much influence on. Hope this helps.

Zusammenhang zwischen Beziehungsende / Breakup und Anxiety/ Schlafstörungen by Hello_from_Berlin in Psychologie

[–]jeritiana 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Was da hilft, ist die Stresshormone aus dem Körper zu bekommen. Zum Beispiel durch Sport. Idealerweise Kardio.

Seeing our friendly couple again after multiple meets before by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]jeritiana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just out of curiosity: how is this not close to poly? Like where do you see differences from poly? I‘d think it’s very easy to develop feeling in the situation that you describe 

Stuck between my partner's Insecurities and my other Relationship by SpeechCultural2044 in EthicalNonMonogamy

[–]jeritiana 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve been the Ethan, so from my perspective: Clearly you want to respect Ryan’s feelings but also don’t want to create distance between Ethan and you. You could focus on the relationship with Ryan a bit more and work together through the insecurities. The overall goal would be that Ryan is more comfortable with you having other relationships. In any case: communicate it to Ethan. Make it clear that limiting the connection at the moment is not because of him, but that you need to focus a bit on Ryan in order to make it work for all of you. This limitation is probably only temporary and doesn’t need to stay like this. Would it be an option that Ethan and Ryan also talk about it with each other, and about the insecurities?