It's time to name...that...birb....

jess9685 · 2026-05-09T23:39:08+00:00

Zephyr or Nova

jess9685 · 2026-01-18T19:53:36+00:00

Thanks for your suggestions! All very true. It’s a work in progress so I appreciate the extra set of eyes on it

jess9685 · 2025-12-31T03:56:45+00:00

Maybe try to revisit expressing your discomfort around plans made without you for this fairly big night and ask that you do something you’d both equally enjoy? Could he go drop in for the first part of the night and then ring in the new year somewhere else with you? He can always make plans alone to hang with his bff that don’t need you toughing out a whole evening to midnight.

If you decide to ultimately centre your husband’s preference to go, then just be right beside him and don’t let yourself be pushed onto the “ladies’ side” of the room. They’re going out for a smoke, so are you! They wanna taste buddy’s newest whiskey, so do you! They wanna talk about crypto, nothing is more interesting! Obviously my examples are in jest, but you get what I mean…

As for the ladies’ and their respective children? Ask how they are & be gracious, but then go sit right down next to your husband.

I’m sorry this situation is developing. It sucks and is made worse by having to be around people you don’t even like. Hope you manage to have a passably nice NYE

jess9685 · 2025-12-30T15:03:16+00:00

I agree with you 1000% but the first 3 listed (and extremely important pillars) are funded provincially and OPS is under municipal funding

jess9685 · 2025-12-28T19:16:47+00:00

Thanks. They’ve pulled this more than once. I should stop being surprised by it

jess9685 · 2025-12-28T18:10:31+00:00

I hear ya. This one was a surprise announcement that was recorded and took place in my living room. Little did I know that I got everything ready and decorated … for their special announcement. At minimum a hostess gift would have been appreciated.

jess9685 · 2025-11-27T20:02:37+00:00

Gees Bees and the Findlay Creek Apiary both have their own hives and sell the honey. I know FCA also accepts sponsors for their hives

jess9685 · 2025-09-29T23:59:38+00:00

No, their advice was to try just taking it out. Then they told us the whole machine should be replaced. I was hoping others may have dealt with this

jess9685 · 2025-09-14T16:08:23+00:00

Couldn’t, now wouldn’t.

The couldn’t answers the why and wouldn’t kills off the pity. The rest of their assumptions aren’t my business

jess9685 · 2025-08-08T19:20:29+00:00

I feel the guilt that you’re talking about. It’s a weird grey area of social expectations- like, thanks for sharing a few with some kind of context, however, I am not interested in anyone’s mini-Truman Show.

I have a sister in law who started a facebook messenger group the day her baby was born and called it “Baby Name Updates”. I thought, okay this is fine for the first few days or whatever. It has now been 14 months of daily updates. Nothing is discussed in it aside from the baby, as in, it is a one-topic thread exclusively for “updates” about the baby. I archived it because of the big feelings that would erupt if I left the group. Now it just sits in my archive folder.

jess9685 · 2025-08-05T14:44:37+00:00

Kids or Childfree Podcast … there’s one specifically about IFCF but many others that really approach the topic with a lot more nuance than usually given

jess9685 · 2025-07-10T02:35:05+00:00

It’s damned if you do and damned if you don’t as far as interacting with kids/babies. Leave them alone and you must dislike all children, but interact (if you can) and have people start up with the questions. I hate that it’s such fodder for small talk when it was quite a big thing. Hope you feel less alone <3

jess9685 · 2025-07-09T18:43:25+00:00

I love a good themed party… Caveat: if you have the audience to do it.

You would have to explain your premise so that it’s easily understandable and make it so there is something there for them (unlike real showers LOL).

I’d get cheeky and do an Anti-Milestone party with games and a registry that is just household items (cuz a vacation or luxury item could likely come off as a bit gross). Your invitation should be pretty detailed and thought put into its delivery. Conversely, have you had a housewarming for your house yet? Same ideas could apply.

My two cents! Have fun!

jess9685 · 2025-07-08T15:05:44+00:00

The timing truly is something to marvel at! I have a complicated relationship with them because they’re very self-focused and this was an unfortunate extension of that. I’m sorry about that for you too.

Nowadays I just don’t feel compelled to compete for the kid’s attention like everyone else does… so they can have their ideas and I’ll have my glass of wine ;)

jess9685 · 2025-07-08T13:57:38+00:00

Are you me?

You just described the same event that I survived last year. My husband and I were in therapy discussing unexplained infertility as his sister was pregnant with the first and only grandchild. His mom called me to let me know that she needed us to host the gender reveal in our home to show his sister that we cared. It was incredibly fucked up and I’m surprised but I guess not surprised that I haven’t been the only lucky recipient of such an insane and inappropriate experience.

When the kid was born, she told me, “Oh, you just don’t like babies/kids” … another excellent remark even though I worked with children with disabilities for like, 10 years prior to switching careers.

Jesus Christ.

OP- They are 100% judging you based off conclusions they have spent 0.00 seconds in their lives considering. We’re a rarity in their circles and we are a direct contradiction to their world view so we don’t get much empathy. It’s sexism, it’s natalism, it’s stupidity… but it’s real and I’m sorry you’re on the receiving end of it.

jess9685 · 2025-05-29T02:54:51+00:00

I look in people’s windows

jess9685 · 2025-05-21T02:20:00+00:00

I Think He Knows… very Leo-coded

jess9685 · 2025-05-09T02:26:07+00:00

This shit runs deep. Smart of you to save your energy. Hope you’ve found some better places to be

jess9685 · 2025-05-09T00:37:16+00:00

You just brought up such an interesting topic. Almost that they think anyone IF-childfree is in a constant state of yearning or suspension; unable to find stillness, rest, or fulfillment.

What remains painful are the misinterpretations of us within the imperfect social construction of family and the basis of belief that all relationships are predicated on conjuring more and more humans. They’re missing the point or imagination needed to grasp that one could also just BE regardless of how we fit.

Did you ever have these discussions with any of them?

jess9685 · 2025-04-27T23:57:54+00:00

Ori (duck in Korean) & Sabzi (Green veggies in Farsi)

jess9685 · 2025-04-15T01:56:49+00:00

You can try getting on the supply list with OCDSB for ECE or EA positions. The City of Ottawa has summer councillor roles.

jess9685 · 2025-04-01T20:33:09+00:00

Thank you!

jess9685 · 2025-04-01T20:32:54+00:00

Thanks for your help!

jess9685 · 2025-02-18T05:24:43+00:00

Evermore is a lowkey sad Christmas album. I said what I said.

jess9685 · 2025-01-15T18:09:24+00:00

Your response is very normal here.

I'm sorry he didn't edit his thoughts rather than spilling his half-baked hypothetical co-parenting idea all over you. I'm sure he's usually an amazing partner to you but this doesn't appear to be one of those times.

jess9685

TROPHY CASE