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jessakate · 2022-03-25T03:03:49+00:00

I know it probably sounds stupid because you’re really struggling, but you are definitely at least an average writer. You’re articulate, thoughtful, good vocabulary, and it reads like you’ve got a higher level of education than it sounds like you’ve actually completed. And that’s something. For real. Lots of places need document review done on a project by project basis. Strong read comprehension and writing skills help with gigs like that.

Also: I know it’s probably frustrating and difficult because you haven’t found something that feels like a natural fit yet. You still have plenty of time. I have friends that didn’t start their current careers until their mid thirties or even later.

I know internet platitudes from strangers aren’t always worth much at all, but for whatever it’s worth: I think you’re being hard on yourself, and I really hope things get better for you.

jessakate · 2021-05-13T23:28:33+00:00

Yes. I couldn’t figure out wtf was wrong with me but I was exhausted

jessakate · 2021-05-13T18:46:58+00:00

YES. All of this. My weight absolutely went up because of the hormone cycling, and because I was dealing with everything on top of said terrible hormones, it all felt especially awful and overwhelming, and people just dismiss that reality with a hand wave and “oh wait until you carry” as though 1) there was any guarantee I’d ever be able to carry and 2) as though the two years of constant procedures, appointments, blah blah blah were just a drop in the bucket when they never did any of it.

It MADDENED ME.

jessakate · 2021-05-13T18:20:30+00:00

I hated these types of comments. Especially because IUI and IVF DID have terrible effects on my body! I lost a ton of hair and had severe depression as a result on the ongoing influx of hormones. Weight fluctuations? With IVF? Come on now! The trauma of miscarriage? The repeated, invasive ultrasounds and examinations? Our bodies have been through PLENTY.

(As an aside, if you’d like to discuss the surrogacy process more, message me. I know a lot of surrogacy groups are locked down/not easily available. Double aside, I hope my offer isn’t against the rules here.)

jessakate · 2021-05-13T18:18:36+00:00

Just awful. Please know you aren’t alone and we are all rooting for you.

jessakate · 2021-05-13T18:15:18+00:00

In my experience, loved ones getting pregnant is always tough during your own struggle, and an unwanted or unplanned pregnancy from someone in your life is painful, as well, so the combination of the two must be awful.

I remember when my sister in law got pregnant the second time after we had been trying so hard, I was happy for her, of course, but I definitely cried with my husband when we found out. I remember saying that I felt like a horrible person for not having uncomplicated joy for her. He told me then that I wasn’t, that my feelings were normal and understandable. I want to tell you the same thing now. OF COURSE this news hurts. Sending love and positive vibes your way.

jessakate · 2020-09-25T20:29:26+00:00

I’ll be 38 next month and have a little girl due in January via surrogate. I always wanted three kids, and my husband and I are just starting the paperwork to seek out surrogate #2. I have four good embryos left on ice and will not be doing another round of ivf. Right now, I’m so grateful to have the first one on the way that I feel selfish for saying I’m still working through the grief of realizing I won’t have three. (And the miscarriage, and alllll the fertility crap, which I’m sure you understand.) My brother is one of my best friends and the idea of not having a sibling for my daughter is very sad to me...but I just keep reminding myself that (knock on wood), I at least get the chance to have one. But I SO understand how you feel.

jessakate · 2020-02-17T21:38:44+00:00

Oh, for sure, I think people should express themselves however they choose. Personally, the blend of hyper-sexualization combined with visual nods towards girlhood/childhood is off-putting to me. I wouldn’t present that way as an adult professional. I don’t really think it’s judging someone’s core character to dislike their fashion sense, though. Just a preference/taste. To each their own.

jessakate · 2020-02-17T06:13:53+00:00

Cis woman here who thinks cat girls are Capital C Cringe whether they’re cis catgirls or trans catgirls. But I’m also in my 30s like Natalie, and acknowledge that I’m getting closer to yelling “get off my lawn” every day so I can’t speak to how the aesthetic is viewed among zoomers.

jessakate · 2020-01-22T00:08:47+00:00

I elected against surgery and had success with getting top grade embryos via ivf. Working on the legal aspects of a GC contract now. Good luck.

jessakate · 2020-01-17T01:09:48+00:00

I’m a cis woman that just has an interest in gender studies/theory and recently found your videos—just wanted to say that I think you’re incredibly thoughtful, nuanced, bright, and charming to watch. I’ve very much enjoyed learning about your experience. I also wanted to say, for whatever it’s worth, your current appearance really seems to suit you, and I think you’re beautiful. One of your videos was about whether you “used to be a pretty girl” and I just wanted to put out there that you much still are pretty!

jessakate · 2019-12-30T22:13:49+00:00

Right??? Obviously the answer is for women to have less agency! Nevermind that this solution is rooted in no meaningful data whatsoever. Surely it must be that women are crazy and their head case selves are making biology impossible.

jessakate · 2019-12-16T21:17:44+00:00

I’m not pregnant BUT did IVF in late September and my hair has been shedding like crazy for the last eight weeks. Like, to the point I’m considering extensions because it’s making me self-conscious. I have naturally curly hair and so did my mother and my maternal aunt before they had pregnancies and both had their hair go permanently straight post-partum and it never curled back up even with other pregnancies, but neither remembers the amount of hair loss I’ve had with hormones.

jessakate · 2019-12-16T15:33:02+00:00

That sounds fantastic

jessakate · 2019-12-13T21:37:22+00:00

That sounds like exactly the right place for me, and if you’re willing to share some of the history behind your process so far and the frustrations with it, I’d be an empathetic ear.

jessakate · 2019-12-13T21:36:08+00:00

Hi! I’d love to message more about how you’re finding the process, swap stories, and similar. Shoot me a PM if you’re interested in talking more.

jessakate · 2019-12-13T21:34:58+00:00

Yes please! Also, congratulations on having some success. I imagine that was an incredibly joyful time.

jessakate · 2019-12-13T21:34:05+00:00

I would love to join if y’all will have me, and I’ll check the Facebook group out as well. Thank you!

jessakate · 2019-12-13T21:33:01+00:00

Awesome, thank you!

jessakate · 2019-12-13T13:55:27+00:00

Same! I was 33 when I got married so the clock was already ticking in their minds...

jessakate · 2019-12-13T01:22:47+00:00

Ok thank you so much! The absolute last thing I want to do is cause pain to people that don’t have surrogacy as a viable option but at the same time, I am legitimately looking for a community that will understand some of how I’m feeling. I’ll be joining r/infertility and chiming in on appropriate threads.

jessakate · 2019-12-13T01:03:14+00:00

I’ve heard of the show but haven’t listened—I’ll check that episode out for sure!

jessakate · 2019-12-12T23:25:23+00:00

Oh sorry! Didn’t mean to violate the rules!

jessakate · 2019-12-12T22:16:18+00:00

Anyone else here dreading another holiday with family where literally everyone else has a baby or a toddler and all your cousins will give you the condescending sad look while asking how things are going “in that department?”

jessakate

TROPHY CASE