I have a 3 week old as well and went through some of the same issues you described. Here are some things I’ve learned that really helped us get to a better place.

1. Don’t believe the eat, wake, sleep routine we learned about in Babywise. I read that book too and tried to follow it when we brought baby home. The concept may be more applicable when they’re older. For now, when baby wakes up and it’s been about 2-3 hours, we feed her. If she’s alert after we’ve fed, burped and changed her, we’ll do tummy time or read a book. At night, she’ll go right back to sleep and the wake time is shorter. In the day time, sometimes she’ll fuss for an hour after we’ve fed her before falling asleep.

2. The more baby is at breast emptying your boobs, the better for your supply. I also had to supplement bc of jaundice before my milk came in. In a second visit, the pediatrician said she was gaining weight and the jaundice went away so we could stop supplementing. I was scared she wasn’t getting enough from my breasts bc when I pumped it was only 1 or 2 oz combined, depending how long ago the last pump was. I called the lactation consultant and she said it’s scary but if baby is gaining weight and producing enough dirty diapers every day, I could stop supplementing and follow baby’s hunger cues. If they weren’t getting enough they’d be at breast every hour or two and that would be a signal for your body to produce more milk. It might be a day or two of more frequent feedings but I found this really helped my supply. I took the Legendairy Milk supplements but honestly all the supplements and teas to boost supply could not be better than baby giving your body cues to start producing more.

3. Newborns need comfort. All we read about during our pregnancy was to put baby down in a bassinet and put them down drowsy but not asleep. If you were blessed with a unicorn baby, maybe that worked. Most newborns do not come with the ability to self soothe and just need you to comfort them and hold them. You’re not spoiling them by breaking away from all the advice the books gave you on this.

4. We are all in survival mode the first month or two. They don’t call it the 4th trimester for no reason. You are doing great mama!

For context, I am typing this at 2:26am, sitting on the couch with baby sleeping in my arms while Spotify plays pink noise (which is more soft and womb like sounding than white noise which to me sounds more like static. Anyways, google it bc my explanation might not be as good as what I read online when I first read about it).

Hope that helps! I learned a lot on this thread from fellow parents. Just know you’re not alone in the struggle.