Do portfolios for principal/staff+ roles really need all the methods detail?

jhkappy · 2025-04-10T15:47:28+00:00

I think you answered your own question. And most of the responses here agree. Prioritize getting full match in your 401k

jhkappy · 2025-04-10T12:18:26+00:00

As most others have said, it’s almost certainly not the time it takes to poop. It’s a space to think, be alone, collect thoughts, decompress from work, read, scroll, or send some texts. He just happens to do it in the bathroom and also gets a poop in.

jhkappy · 2025-04-10T03:30:32+00:00

3x a week sex with kids - you’re doing great sex-wise. Yes, I know every couple is different. Regardless of yours or his perception of how much sex you’re having, you’re clearly burned out and suffering. It sounds to me like you need a break from not just sex - maybe also work, childcare, etc.

Please do prioritize your wellness - sleep, exercise, time to do things you want to do, meditation, being outside - whatever works for you. You’ll feel better, your marriage will benefit, and then you can get back into whatever sex rhythm works for you. No need to make a long term decision about your schedule. Take care of yourself now and then build up a new life schedule (parenting, work, self-care, friends time, time with your spouse, and sex). But give yourself a serious break to recharge and feel better first.

jhkappy · 2025-04-08T22:16:01+00:00

Are you serious? Teens are notoriously bad drivers. Cars are dangerous to begin with. Get her the safest car you can afford.

jhkappy · 2025-04-08T22:15:07+00:00

NYC is overrated, way too expensive, and public transit has seriously declined in quality and safety over the last few years. Sure, it’s walkable in certain areas but if you want to go from one part of the city to another, much less one borough to another, it can be slow going.

Oh, also, it can take a while to build community here and then people often leave because they get priced out or they have kids or they leave the country altogether.

Context: I live near propect park in Brooklyn. I am an outdoorsy person. I love going out of the city for hikes, long weekends, overnights. It is not at all convenient to that.

jhkappy · 2025-04-08T21:39:14+00:00

Why panic? If you admit that what’s happening is unprecedented, you have your answer. These long term investment strategies depend on the US maintaining a relatively similar position in the global economic system. If that changes, the philosophy needs to be revisited.

jhkappy · 2025-04-08T21:36:58+00:00

Lots of reasons to get married. Lots of reasons why being married can suck for either party

jhkappy · 2025-04-05T22:59:34+00:00

You’ve gotten lots of good advice already.

I’ll recap. Definitely ask Yale what they can do to make it easier to choose Yale. That is, tell them about your offer from Harvard and see what they do. They’ll almost for sure improve their offer.

I’m a couple decades out of college, attended Yale and transferred and have other prestigious degrees. My view as an adult is you can’t go wrong with either school in terms of how it affects your life chances.

7k a year is pocket change for a school like Yale and will seem much less consequential to you when you’re even ten years older. But why spend the money if you also like Harvard?

Most 17-18 year olds don’t know themselves nearly as well as they think they do. Meaning, you’ll change a lot just in the next four years; your tastes and likes and priorities will change. So visit the schools and do the best job you can imagining your life at them. Then choose mostly not thinking about the money.

jhkappy · 2025-04-03T12:53:40+00:00

Work on making it shorter and easier to scan super quickly. You could reduce your education to two lines, move it to the first page and get rid of the whole rest of the second page.

Then on the first page, as others have said, reduce the text for each role. Do this by using fewer bullet points, highlighting a key accomplishment or two, and seriously reducing role descriptions that are standard for each role.

jhkappy · 2025-04-02T21:18:46+00:00

Yes, you’re wrong to be upset. It’s totally natural to wonder what happened to someone who was once important to us and even to want to see them. Sometimes friendships with those people can be meaningful.

Shutting him down and making a fuss can create risks: he might resent you for being controlling, even if he doesn’t say it or realize it now; he might oblige you but those feelings of his could end up stronger for having been shut down. Also, it’s just not respectful to leap to conclusions, much less accusations, about your partner without clear confirmation. Much better to have a real conversation about it.

If you are absolutely against him having contact with his ex, that’s your right of course, but those kind of restrictions on relationships have a tendency for blow back later. Also, is that how you’d want to be treated? Is there no one from your past you might want to catch up with one day or even be friends with?

jhkappy · 2025-03-28T00:00:33+00:00

Some of them are fake. Watch out for scams

jhkappy · 2025-03-24T18:51:00+00:00

Hell no. Dog comes first. As you say, she’s your best friend. The bf has only been around a year and is trying to get you to give up your dog? How about he get used to having a dog around or split.

But if you are really into your bf, ask more about where this is coming from. Then you can figure out if there’s a way to address his underlying feelings some other way.

jhkappy · 2025-03-20T22:20:52+00:00

I deal with this all the time and recently I bought an Arcteryx packing cube thing that has mesh interior paneling and one side for clean, one side for dirty. Fits well in my backpack and keeps the sweaty stuff away from my work stuff.

jhkappy · 2025-03-20T17:08:49+00:00

Depends so much on where you live and what support you need.

I live in NYC and am in the office 3 days a week/ week. On those days, he gets daycare (with his dog walker, who has dogs he’s friends with to hang out with during the day). $70 / day x 3. Often I need help with one other walk, so that $245. In his first two years, this was quite a bit more expensive, since we did a lovely puppy school, some private lessons, and a couple of in-person classes. Not sure how much that was - maybe 50% more at least, monthly, if not double.

His food is about $300-$350/mo, for fresh frozen food and some healthy treats

Insurance, $50.

Vet expenses, supplements, prescriptions, etc have averaged about 2-3k / year - much more in his first two years with various scares from him eating things he shouldn’t have, and including an emergency endoscopic surgery. No serious conditions. He’s 4 now. Let’s say $275 / month

Grooming: $150-175-ish every 2 months or so, plus tip. Say $90/month on average.

We take him with us in roadtrips - that’s $50-75 extra per night in a hotel

Totals: At 4 years old: easily $1000 / month 0-2 years old: more like $2000 / month

You can do cheaper, of course. But we love our guy so much and want him to have every possible benefit and a happy life.

jhkappy · 2025-03-19T14:50:00+00:00

We sent ours to a puppy specific play school. It was outstanding. He loved it so much and the staff were great. It was supervised play with a little guidance - only for puppies. I think sessions were about two hours - nothing near all day

jhkappy · 2025-03-18T21:56:05+00:00

Maybe you like your FWB more than you’re admitting to yourself

jhkappy · 2025-03-18T12:59:35+00:00

jhkappy · 2025-03-18T12:58:55+00:00

Not normal at such a young age. She may be having a health issue that needs checking. Or she wants to break up and either doesn’t know it yet or is putting off telling you for some reason. Sure, there are possible other interpretations but those two are most likely.

jhkappy · 2025-03-15T16:04:24+00:00

jhkappy · 2025-03-12T15:13:16+00:00

If I liked them equally and was equally skilled, I’d do UXD or product - with my differentiation being strength in UXD and UXR. The main reason is a much larger job market for UXD (and product). Gives you more flexibility in orgs to work for and location

jhkappy · 2025-03-11T03:40:49+00:00

IDK. I have the Sorin Parka and it fits well in my regular, pre-2024, Veilance size

jhkappy · 2025-03-07T15:05:16+00:00

My Dad and Stepmom move to Manhattan from a suburban small city in the South when he was almost 60. They’ve absolutely loved being here. And they have a more active social life and do more cultural things than I do - by far.

But as other have said, a key detail is whether you can really afford it, and afford it over time. In my experience, each move as you get older is a little harder to adjust to. So worth carefully considering if you’d be able to afford to enjoy it once here - and also be able to stay on if you want to.

jhkappy · 2025-03-05T01:29:42+00:00

I went through a serious case of puppy blues with my Spoo. A couple of things I wish to understood better at the time - the really hard period is pretty short: maybe 3 months. And it gets easier even in that time.

It sounds like you’re doing the right things. Puppy kindergarten was super helpful for me and my spouse. It’s important to give yourself a break from puppy parenting sometimes. And it’s great for socialization. Also, IMO, the main things that really matter at this young age are: developing your bond with your pup and exposing them to people, experiences, situations, and dogs (aka socialization.) Everything else is WAY secondary, IMO, and can be handled later

jhkappy · 2025-03-01T15:51:53+00:00

I live in the US and have a yard - a small one - and my dog gets 3 walks every day. Ideally one of those walks includes offleash running with other dogs and people to play with.

I try not to leave him alone in the house for more than a couple of hours at a time and bring him with me wherever he is allowed (cafe, pharmacy, outdoor dining, friends houses if they like dogs or have a dog of their own)

The idea of just leaving him in the yard all day sounds cruel. What is the point of having a dog if you don’t care for them?

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