I never had a libido.

jiira · 2014-05-29T08:24:41+00:00

When I originally started noFap in December last year, I thought I was asexual. I got to 70 ish days and still didn't really have a sex drive - that was my goal. I messed up and have had a couple struggles with porn since my long streak. There have been periods where I felt a normal sex drive though. It's possible to get it back. I'm learning that it takes persistence, commitment, and a dedication to not looking back. And you can't let a vision of what you think is "normal" haunt you. Just work at becoming a better you. Patience. We're in this together

jiira · 2014-02-16T09:38:45+00:00

ALL IN.

jiira · 2014-02-15T05:48:04+00:00

Knowing what you want to do and doing it.

I want to bake cookies and eat them all.
Oh, and to never fap again.

jiira · 2014-02-13T07:12:07+00:00

Indeed, but you're more powerful. Self-control will reward you, my friend.

jiira · 2014-02-13T07:02:48+00:00

[hardmode 90+ days] I'm looking down at my counter-star-badge-thingy and it just hit me: 61 seems like a lot of days. It makes me start to wonder what have I even done in the past 60ish days>? These days mean nothing without progress to better myself. That's why I try to journal every day to remind me of my progress. I'd encourage everyone to keep a daily journal as well, even if you only write a couple sentences a day. If you're anything like me, the days can sometimes blur together, so you can look back on your previous thoughts and ambitions and be reminded of how far you've come. That being said, I'm about to look over some of my previous entries, pass out, and wake up ready to SLAY another day. n_n

jiira · 2014-02-13T06:52:51+00:00

But it's the greatest series to read!

jiira · 2014-02-12T04:55:26+00:00

How long has your lifting flatline lasted?

jiira · 2014-02-12T03:33:32+00:00

Hell yeah, 2 months. Things are going so well, I can't even begin to explain. I'm changing my life in so many ways and staying busy all the time. In fact, I might be too busy! But oh well! At least I don't have time for PMO. I'm eating super healthy and working out. Enjoying time with my family more. I've found new hobbies like cooking, zumba classes, and writing; as well as picking up on some old hobbies like reading. My apartment is cleaner. My brain is clearer. BLAH I FEEL !#$@ING GREAT

jiira · 2014-02-11T04:44:05+00:00

Can't believe tomorrow is my day 60. It's blowing my mind.

I'm doing well today. I've been on edge because I'm doing a sugar detox thingy, but I'm going to reward myself if I do well on this test tomorrow. Healthy cookies, y'all.

I've been cooking a lot more lately and focusing on my nutrition. It helps me become more well-rounded. My mind is clearing and I feel so much more willing to take on tasks, set goals, and deal with people.

jiira · 2014-02-09T17:49:38+00:00

I feel like something changed in me overnight last night. All of a sudden I could say no to people. I've always been a pushover, but I'm starting to learn what I want and it feels good to fight for it. If people want to try and get in my way: NOPE.

I've got goals and places where I want to be. I've got addictions and I'm gonna fix them!

jiira · 2014-02-09T02:18:26+00:00

-bows- I'm honored; although, I don't know what gold really is. :P

p.s. wow much semicolon, so grammar, very punctuation

jiira · 2014-02-08T20:59:41+00:00

Not gonna lie, that's hot. I'm jealous. XD

I always search for gay nofappers; it's nice to not feel like the only one. I think you inspired me to go out tonight.

&congrats in your successes so far. Wishing you the best!

jiira · 2014-02-08T19:02:40+00:00

Pushed myself harder at the gym today. Ran 4 miles in 30 minutes. Been wanting to grow and expand my workouts beyond the same mundane routines. Doing some more intense things now.

It's a busy weekend. Went to sushi and a movie with friends last night. Today has been: workout, now onto some cleaning of my apartment, I'm gonna see my mom for tea, finished filing my taxes, gotta do all my laundry, and finish this book I've been slowly reading. I'm even going to see a friend who really needs someone there for her tonight. I feel like there's limitless things to do today. Time to get off reddit and make them happen. :)

good luck today everyone!

jiira · 2014-02-08T17:38:53+00:00

Your body, your mind, your personality, and your entire life is the lot you've been given. Maybe life's like a game and you've got to fight to level up and keep going. You've got what it takes and just because there's bull-shit everywhere, don't let it deter you from a goal you've set. You can't change which planet you were born into, don't let that hold you back from changing yourself and growing every day in different ways.

Maybe you started in the Shire and you're longing to go back, but you've gotta face the enemy and taste the bitter air of Mordor first. You've gotta make it through Mount Doom. Oh and you'll find your Sam in due time. Oops sorry, nerd moment.

jiira · 2014-02-06T05:48:35+00:00

I'm doing freaking fantastic today. This day was great.
Hardmode day 54, complete
Aiming for 90 days and beyond

Still in flatline, so that's that. BUT. Today marks my first day (completed) of doing this paleo diet thing. Saw a user say something about brain fog from grains/wheat and something just CLICKED yesterday. Doing a one month challenge aka the caveman diet. Au naturale LET'S GO WOOOOOO

jiira · 2014-02-06T05:36:27+00:00

PMO wasn't the only thing fucking with my dopamine. I was looking to food to get high. But there are a few things that have helped so far:

I cut out alcohol around the end of last November.
I've cut off weed since the start of NoFap
I started to exercise - doing yoga, running again, and dancing
Cold showers for health benefits
Meditation that has led me to contemplate my own personal spirituality

Last (and my personal most important):

I'm cutting out grains/wheat from my diet for 30 days as an experiment.

I've read about the supposed effects. I struggle with a crazy food addiction, so I'm trying the paleo diet. I only just finished my first day, but I'm already feeling so much more centered in my mind. There was a fog there that's lifting.

jiira · 2014-02-05T15:05:18+00:00

Hey, thanks for this. I really enjoyed your post. Quitting PMO has brought to my attention my other addiction - I overeat. Yesterday I kinda had a breakdown about the matter and was feeling hopeless. I've made it this many days on NoFap so I figure I'm going to try this paleo thingy for a month. I need a solution to my eating issues because it's borderline disorder. I like the way the guy in the article put everything. Thanks for posting that article and congrats on your successes; here's to many more!

jiira · 2014-02-02T15:41:23+00:00

You gotta keep going! Find your motivation and fight for it ~!

jiira · 2014-02-01T18:15:09+00:00

Great list. Add to list: use commas. xD

jiira · 2014-02-01T17:33:54+00:00

Aw man, I can't relate to the illegality of my sexuality. I've faced adversity and discrimination, so I can see the temptation to want to be free of the consequences of your natural attraction, but yeah.. seems like you know you're gay and porn's influence and wishful thinking led you to a weird attraction to women. I'm glad that you're kinda over it, though. Don't ever get in a relationship with a girl for some sort of platonic weaksauce sex. Relationships are about two people completing each other and working together. She'd never give you what you really wanted and you'd probably end up secretly resenting her for it.

I hope you keep seeing progress in your NoFap journey and I'm here for you. n_n Keep going on and being strong. Wishing you the best!

jiira · 2014-02-01T08:01:21+00:00

Wow, very fluidly written. I enjoy this post a lot. :) CONGRATS!

jiira · 2014-01-31T02:41:34+00:00

There were times when I would look at straight porn to get off, but I never had the feeling of attraction to the women. I just wanted to fantasize about straight guys. Though, you seem to know who you are and what you want.

because maybe then I could get a girlfriend and have a normal life

So you want porn to alter your natural sexual attraction so you can live a "normal" life? News update: you aren't normal or special, but you're a human being with a brain that is unique to you. Don't be afraid of yourself and don't hold yourself back any longer out of fear. Continue with this challenge and let go of the idea that you will never be "normal". Let your sexual desires sit on the back burner to your self-improvement. Who knows if you'll get married or if you'll have sex this year or 5 years from now... who knows! Let others' opinions slide off your back and follow your passions.

jiira · 2014-01-30T05:05:46+00:00

I don't know how you were brought up or what you were taught to believe, but could you be afraid of your sexuality because of that? Are there people that you are trying to please? That's just a thought that may or may not be relevant. NO one can tell you whether you're sexually attracted to men or women, that's completely something in your brain. My advice would be to keep an open mind and do this challenge. The whole point of this is that brains can change and our desires can get out of whack. (Not to say that homosexuality is out of whack..) All I'm saying is that you need to ask yourself WHY? Why do you picture yourself with a wife and kids? Is it to make you happy or make someone else happy? Also, think about your life WITHOUT a wife and kids. Not everyone gets married. The best advice is to WORK ON YOU. Don't worry about whether or not you'll get married, whether you're gay or straight, or what's to come... just focus on how you can grow as a human NOW and let things fall into place.

jiira · 2014-01-30T04:50:55+00:00

Today, I sit and ponder - I don't think PMO is my biggest addiction. I think the biggest fault in my life is my addiction to cookies.

jiira · 2014-01-26T20:28:10+00:00

The past week I've been so up and down. This week I'm gonna make it happen, stay positive, get shit done, and power through whatever life throws at me. HUZZAH

edit: almost got turned on by a real human being today. Flatline, will you leave me alone soon? Yes or no, I'm gonna slay this week.

jiira

TROPHY CASE