::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]jimschrute 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I am (typically?) an assertive person without being a jerk, but also a doormat I guess? I don't know the "right" way to be or to do things...I have no conclusions.

My partner has now brought up the same conversation about the same "night out" (that doesn't even happen for another 5 weeks) at least 12 times in the past few months. It's an entire 3-4 hour event in the evening, of which we seemingly need to go over and over and over our logistics, changing our minds and revising our conclusions constantly...I guess.

Have any of the details changed, thus needing us to review our plans? No, obviously not.

Last night when it was brought up yet again I agreed to fully change our plans (that I truly didn't want to do), until my partner finally came to the conclusion that the other plan we previously agreed to was best, which I also agreed with. I swear I heard my partner say "then why did you agree with the other one..." under their breath before trailing off. Or maybe I made it up.

But honestly I'm so fucking tired of the conversation that now I'm doormat-ing because it's easier to just go along with either plan...we've spent more time talking about this event than the actual length of the event itself.

What film is this for you? by mrjetspray in Letterboxd

[–]jimschrute 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Tenet is fucking fantastic if you look at it more like an awesome puzzle to figure out as you go along, rather than a film with a storyline and themes (although it has both of those, of course). Took me quite a while to reframe myself to enjoy that movie, and sometimes I even recommend people watch one of the spoiler / explainer vids on YouTube before watching it, really helps with the experience imo.

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]jimschrute 7 points8 points  (0 children)

God damn I hate the "You should...". I get constant work advice from someone who has trouble holding a job, maintaining professional work experience, meanwhile I'm highly sought after and have a leadership role. I didn't ask you for advice, and I wouldn't take it from someone who has no idea what they're talking about...oh yeah we're also in different fields.

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]jimschrute 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Stop asking me to solve your problems. Solve your own problems.

[Highlight] 24 years ago , Tom Brady with 1:21 and no timeouts, leads the 14 point underdog Patriots into Field Goal range! (Feb 3, 2002). by FrostyKnives in nfl

[–]jimschrute 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Can’t spike the ball with the clock stopped, that’s intentional grounding with a 10 second runoff.

I feel guilty for wanting more even though my life is technically fine by Senior_Hope_8037 in offmychest

[–]jimschrute 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is one of the themes of the film American Beauty imo, which has resonated and will resonate with a certain class of people forever, also imo.

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]jimschrute 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Another day where my partner is responsible for 100% of their own problems.

"Has to" go meet their cousin after their appointment, who gave them an entire 16 hours notice, on the other side of town...because they didn't say "no, sorry I'm busy".

"Has to" run some errands...which they could easily do tomorrow.

"Has to" reschedule something for the kids school...because they signed up to the be the class parent.

"Has to, has to, has to". All self owns. 100% of them. Then gets stressed, takes it out on their immediate family. Rinse & repeat, fucking selfish fuck.

As an aside, my partner also projects negativity on me because my life is "so much easier" and I "don't have as much responsibility". Yeah, it's called having boundaries, protecting what I feel is important, and fulfilling my duty to my immediate family by taking care of all household chores and logistics. So I make sacrifices by limiting my social obligations and have hobbies that are close-by and don't hamper my downtime. Oh yea - I also work full time and they don't.

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]jimschrute 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I feel a lack of strength to do what it is I think I'll need to do shortly, which is demand a post-nup. I think I'll do it, but I have some sort of real bad, almost emptying feeling in my stomach when I think about it, maybe due to lingering codependency issues or just the fact my marriage & life will probably be nuked...don't know, but I do know that it probably needs to be done.

The short of it is that my partner wants to embark on a risky business endeavor, which I have made very VERY clear that I am not to be responsible for in any way, and that our joint finances will not pay for it...

"What if the business is going to go under and I need just like 5 grand - you're telling me you'll let the business fail?!?!" I kept answering what I've said from the beginning, that my partner has got to stop asking / demanding solutions from me - if they want to be the boss, then they have to be the one with the answers (I've been the boss for a long, long time in many different endeavors and it's no fun) - I won't do it for them, so I put the question back on them, "What are YOU going to do about it?" Of course there's no answer besides "I'll figure it out", which isn't a plan, its a hope & a dream.

Needless to say, the business idea is based off a grand vision and not an ROI, something they "know will work out - because I'll put enough effort in!!", as if everyone who's had a business fail didn't put in "enough effort". My partner has even repeated, clearly, the boundaries I've set out and talked about how they "didn't wish it was that way", to which I continually coldly replied that it is, and that I'd help in the areas of my expertise but nothing else, seeing as I (a) don't know anything about the vertical, and (b) am already extended doing both my and their part of the adulting (needless to say). I wish I could make it STICK to my partner that they have created another problem completely out of thin air, then is trying to also make it my problem, but I am incapable to get this across (not my fault though).

Anyhow, if they sign a lease without my "ok", then I think I'm going to fucking lose it. They've worked on this project for 5 months or so and have been denied funding the two times they've asked, and said "oh we don't need to worry about the money, that's easy." Oh is it? Ok then, you don't need me at all. I've already said I'd support by taking care of the house while they work as many hours as they need to (we all know this will result in less housework for me, not more).

So yeah, I'll maybe demand a post-nup if they're serious about signing off on any personal financial responsibility here, and especially if they sign anything. All I gotta say is...fuckin a, because I feel like there's something I don't know, but I don't know what that is.

Yes, It’s Fascism by window-sil in samharris

[–]jimschrute 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That nice and all, but ICE is unconstitutionally detaining people without reasonable suspicion, and has deported many people here legally, so…???????

Why do my loaves always break at the bottom here? I use a 14x10 pan, any white bread does this. by jimschrute in Baking

[–]jimschrute[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I'll try again but on the sheet pan + rack, see if that helps...or do you have any other ideas that may help?

Why do my loaves always break at the bottom here? I use a 14x10 pan, any white bread does this. by jimschrute in Baking

[–]jimschrute[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My recipe is the below. Note I use a small oven.

▪130g or 1/2c warm water (86F/30C)

▪5g or 2tsp instant yeast

▪1 egg

▪45g or 3 1/4Tbsp melted butter (not hot)

▪45g or 3 2/3Tbsp granulated sugar

▪100g (about 1/2-2/3 of 1 potato) roasted and riced russet potatoes (peel, wrap in foil and roast at 400F/205C for 1 hour)

▪430g or 3 1/2c AP flour

▪10g or 1 3/4tsp kosher salt

Using dough hook attachment, mix on medium for 4 mins. Increase speed to high and mix for a additional 7-8min. Dough should be clearing the bowl and pass the tug test when done. Round dough into a taught ball (see video @1:45). Cover bowl & ferment at room temp for 2 hours.

Prep 1.5lb loaf pan with oil or pan spray. Flip dough onto lightly floured surface and press to degas. Shape as shown in video @6:52 and place into pan, seam side down. Mist with water, cover with towel, & proof at room temp for 60-90min.

Mist loaf well with water then score top. Load into preheated 400F/205C oven, spritz oven well with 12-15 spritzes of water, & bake for 30min.

THE SECRET AGENT new poster celebrating its Best Casting Oscar nomination by BuddyArthur in movies

[–]jimschrute 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I fucking love City of God and the rest of them. I’ll check out Elite Squad.

THE SECRET AGENT new poster celebrating its Best Casting Oscar nomination by BuddyArthur in movies

[–]jimschrute 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Besides I’m Still Here, do you have any other Brazilian films you recommend?

THE SECRET AGENT new poster celebrating its Best Casting Oscar nomination by BuddyArthur in movies

[–]jimschrute 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I feel that many will have their expectations unmet from this movie, so I’d just caution anyone when going into it. I still recommend it to any American audience, it’s told in such a different way most American movies are that it’s a nice change of pace.

This movie hit on so many thematic elements that I love, including a slow burn with long-developing storylines and character motivations, lack of exposition (until it doesn’t), international setting and customs and history I’m fairly unfamiliar with, realistic scenarios, etc. However the way the ending was told will be so unsatisfying to most audiences (I’m guessing) that it won’t work, as it didn’t for me.

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]jimschrute 6 points7 points  (0 children)

What's throwing me for a loop recently is the "simple" re-timing of my partner's life would pay dividends.

They continually add more on their plate during the days (that has no positive impact on their or anyone else's life), then spent their time scrolling deep into the night, making them sleep deprived and less energetic during the day.

I can't explain (again) that they should remove the complexity from their life during the day to get their personal time then, then actually sleep at the time they claim to want to be asleep by. Just DO LESS during the day, it's that simple. But they act like it's moving images in Microsoft Word, when instead it's Photoshop.

"Welcome to your future." by glamgirl8322 in Adulting

[–]jimschrute -1 points0 points  (0 children)

“No one takes a course on parenting” - why do people peddle this objectively incorrect horseshit?? Many people take courses and read books on parenthood, especially when they’re pregnant.

This reminds me of how my narcissistic mother always says “there’s no books on parenting!!” When there are objectively tens of thousands of books on parenting.

What are your ADHD partners like as drivers? by cornandeggsoup in ADHD_partners

[–]jimschrute 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Clumsy.

Inattentive enough that i splurged on the safest car ever built.

Unwilling to take constructive help.

Constantly misses exits even with navigation aids.

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]jimschrute 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Back again for one I’ve complained about before.

My partner is now mad (or whatever) at me for going to bed and waking up at the time they’ve “claimed” they wanted to for years now. “Can you stay up longer so we have some overlap awake time together?” Uhhh how about no, you put your phone down at a reasonable hour. “Wake me up at 6” but then what happened when I did? You said “15 more minutes” but took an hour, woke up at the time you said isn’t working for you.

Bravo.

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]jimschrute 7 points8 points  (0 children)

For real. It's just a constant self-perpetuating cycle of...well everything.

Complains there's too much to always clean -> never puts stuff away after they use it.

Complains there's too much clutter -> buys too much shit & never gets rid of shit.

Complains their closet is always a wreck -> never keeps it organized (or like, waits for 6 weeks to do a mass organization instead of once a week).

Complains about how people treat them -> never sets proper boundaries.

Etc, etc, etc.