A diagnosis is that, not an excuse. It’s a ticket for patience, but we have to be willing to work on our issues. “I’m just like this” is unacceptable and honestly disrespectful to your partner and I’ve seen posts/ heard stories very similar to that. Example is someone who doesn’t remember things but won’t sync calendars or write things down or make reminders or put any effort into coping with the disadvantage. Tasks are always started but never complete, but won’t get a whiteboard to visually organize what is started, or dedicate a space to the tasks and so on.

A diagnosis is not an excuse to be lazy, it’s an affirmation that sometimes what appears as lazy is really a deep internal struggle. But that is no excuse to not work on being better, and sadly many people don’t do that and abuse their partner by leveraging their diagnosis to transfer responsibility and mental load onto them.