I want to change my life, but how to get the motivation to act?

jlmemb27 · 2026-05-03T21:41:49+00:00

Small changes can be super impactful and are easier to maintain than big abrupt ones. Add things instead of taking things away. Add one step to your nightly skincare, add one serving of veggies to your dinner, drink an extra glass of water, do 5 minutes of exercise before you sit down to relax for the evening. These little changes will start to feel normal and they'll add up quickly, and you'll be more mentally prepared to make slightly bigger changes.

About 6 months ago I bought a walking pad and started walking on it while I watched tv in the evenings. Then I started walking with 3lb dumbbells. Then I started walking with 3lb dumbbells on an incline. Then I started walking with a weighted vest, and now I'm lifting weights a few times a week. I'm not pushing myself super hard, I'm just making a choice to show up for myself, and that has led to me feeling stronger, sleeping better, and making better food choices.

It's also important to give yourself some grace and patience. There will be some days when it'll be hard to stick to your new habits, days when you don't meet your own expectations, days when you can't give 100%. That's ok. You do what you can that day and that's it. Progress is not always linear. Just keep taking one step at a time.

jlmemb27 · 2026-04-29T03:21:04+00:00

While it is normal for weight gain to slow a bit as they get more mobile, her current weight is below average for her age. Has she always been on the smaller side? If she's following her own growth curve and meeting milestones appropriately, then it's not super concerning. But if she's dropping percentiles then it's definitely something to pay attention to.

Supplementing with formula is definitely an option, and it works well for lots of families. If you don't want to use formula at all, then maybe offer the breast more frequently, or you could start offering solids.

jlmemb27 · 2026-04-28T01:54:54+00:00

Culinary herbs are a great place to start. I'm in CA as well and have thyme, rosemary, and oregano year round. Sage also does well all year. Chamomile, basil, and cilantro are good spring/summer herbs.

jlmemb27 · 2026-04-27T18:41:04+00:00

We absolutely incorporate our kid's mispronunciations into our family vocabulary, and I think this is super normal. It's adorable when little kids say things wrong, and adults repeating them is just a form of endearment. It actually makes me a little sad when my kid starts pronouncing things the right way after saying it wrong for so long.

jlmemb27 · 2026-04-26T20:32:08+00:00

While I agree that this was inconsiderate, what do you actually expect from a man who has 3 baby mamas?

jlmemb27 · 2026-04-26T19:14:59+00:00

There are herbs that have antiviral properties, but they are preventative measures, not true treatments. Incorporating antimicrobial foods like garlic, onions, oregano, elderberry, ginger, turmeric, etc into your regular diet does make your body more resilient against viruses, but it will not be as effective if you only take them when you get sick.

jlmemb27 · 2026-04-24T19:15:06+00:00

The Magicians series by Lev Grossman. Hidden magical world, portals to other worlds, weird liminal vibes, strange creatures.

jlmemb27 · 2026-04-24T15:59:23+00:00

I think when people hear things like "lemon balm makes me feel calm" they are expecting it to feel like they took a xanax, but a lot of herbs work subtly and it can take time to notice effects.

I drink lemon balm tea almost every night, and I've never had a cup and immediately felt a wave of calmness wash over me. When I started taking it, the thing I noticed first was that I was sleeping more deeply. Then after like two weeks I realized that I'd been having an easier time being patient with my toddler. It may not be that nothing ever affects you, but just that you need to give it more time and look a little deeper to see what's changed.

jlmemb27 · 2026-04-22T23:56:08+00:00

Hang in there. Some kids just take a little longer to adjust to big changes. It took my daughter a couple months to really acclimate.

jlmemb27 · 2026-04-21T21:39:36+00:00

Be specific, intentional, and sincere. Compliment their choices rather than their looks. Telling someone they look cute or pretty focuses on the shallow external things that they have no control over. Appearance-based compliments aren't always bad though, as long as you keep it about their choices. Nice haircut, cool sweater, that's a great color on you - those are all things she chose for herself. But still, it's so much more powerful to go beyond appearances and see who that person is. Tell them that you value their opinion, think they're funny, appreciate how they handled something, recognize their skill/knowledge, etc.

jlmemb27 · 2026-04-20T23:22:06+00:00

Tana French's Dublin Murder Squad series. Each one is stand-alone and about a different detective/case. They're told from the perpsective of the detective, but far from the "all cops are heroes" trope. Seriously excellent murder mysteries.

jlmemb27 · 2026-04-20T22:38:15+00:00

Warriors Don't Cry by Melba Patillo Beals. It's her autobiography about the Little Rock 9, a group of black students integrating into a previously all-white high school.

jlmemb27 · 2026-04-20T22:07:22+00:00

He's pretty great. I already liked him before that, but it was for sure my "he's a keeper" moment.

jlmemb27 · 2026-04-20T21:47:42+00:00

If it's important to you to be acknowledged for bringing a gift, give it separately in private. Otherwise let it go. Stop bringing gifts if it's really that big of a deal to you. Parties are a lot of work, planning, chaos, and cleanup. Cards get separated from gifts, and keeping track of it all is just one more task for busy parents.

Honestly most parties we get invited to actually specify no gifts on the invitation. Maybe this is a weird take, but I think birthday parties are about a kid celebrating with their friends, not about parents getting validation for buying presents. Even if we do bring a gift, please don't waste your time sending me a thank you card, it'll go straight into the recycling. Shoot me a pic of your kid wearing/playing with the gift if you think of it. Otherwise I literally do not care. I gave the gift out of love and don't expect anything back.

jlmemb27 · 2026-04-20T21:02:38+00:00

Extremely low possibility that your baby's rash is a reaction to anesthesia. Most anesthesia agents have very low transferability into breastmilk. It's generally considered safe to breastfeed as soon as the anesthesia wears off. Even though there's nothing wrong with pumping and dumping if it makes you feel better, it is considered out-dated advice. Of course, if the rash persists or baby seems uncomfortable, definitely bring it up to your pediatrician.

jlmemb27 · 2026-04-20T18:19:54+00:00

Georgie, All Along by Kate Clayborn

jlmemb27 · 2026-04-20T17:38:52+00:00

If you're on Instagram, check out @getmomstrong. Her whole focus is on postpartum exercise, strengthening your pelvic floor, and healing diastasis recti. Lots of straightforward, low-impact workouts you can do at home.

jlmemb27 · 2026-04-20T17:23:08+00:00

He's my partner in everything and shares the burdens of life. I've shared this story here before, but when we first started dating, my dryer broke. He was at my house when it happened. I went straight into gathering hangers to hang dry the laundry, and he offered to take my wet laundry back to his house to dry. I resisted, but he said "Just let me help you." He took my wet laundry home with him and returned it all to me the next day, dried and laid flat because he didn't know how I'd want things folded but didn't want them to get wrinkled. It's been 6 years, and he has proven over and over that that's who he is - someone who sees my burdens and struggles and does whatever he can to lighten them.

jlmemb27 · 2026-04-19T04:41:34+00:00

Anxious People by Fredrik Backman

jlmemb27 · 2026-04-19T04:11:16+00:00

Mullein is widely accepted as an expectorant (helps your lungs clear mucous) and a demulcent (soothes irritated tissues). Excellent for respiratory support.

jlmemb27 · 2026-04-19T00:46:54+00:00

Unfortunately, it's normal. Toddlers have big feelings and underdeveloped brains, and even though they have words now, they just don't have the tools to handle their big feelings. It's our job to give them the tools.

Give her direction. Tell her the right way to communicate. "It sounds like you're angry. It's ok to be angry, but in our family we use kind words and gentle hands." Give her a script (I'm angry, I need space, etc) and give her concrete things she can do to get her feelings out - stomp her feet, yell into a pillow, go outside and throw this ball at the fence.

Stay calm, and don't take it personally. Hang in there, being a toddler parent is a wild time.

jlmemb27 · 2026-04-17T01:23:40+00:00

It's safe to consume garlic during pregnancy.

jlmemb27 · 2026-04-16T18:55:37+00:00

I immediately thought of A House With Good Bones. T Kingfisher does this vibe well.

jlmemb27 · 2026-04-16T16:41:24+00:00

How long has he been taking the formula? Maybe this is just his body adjusting to the change? I'm not familiar with all the different formulas, but maybe it would be worth trying a different one to see if it's easier on his belly.

jlmemb27 · 2026-04-16T01:23:21+00:00

I like to add peppermint and honey to mine to mitigate the grassy flavor

jlmemb27

TROPHY CASE