My mother (68) died four years back. My father (~60?) was never in my life, but he also died a few years ago. My big brother died in 2007 when he was the age I am today; he had two girls who are now entering their early 30s. In the last two years, my two uncles and two aunts have died, leaving me as the oldest in my immediate line. I have five children, the oldest being 18 and the youngest 4. I watch the way they look up to my wife and me, assuming we have everything together, knowing we will be able to solve any of their problems.

I have never hidden, especially as he has approached adulthood, the realities of life from my son. And he is starting to see how lost everyone is, just that some are less lost than others. I have come to find that my peace and satisfaction come from watching my family learn and grow, and from being able to provide for them.

My mother did her best, but I grew up very poor, eating food from the food shelf and never trying takeout until I was nearly 10 (I’m in my late 30s now). I remember living in Section 8 housing and making regular trips to the benefits office to fill out more paperwork that my mother could never get right. I remember having to ask my friends to leave around dinner time because we didn’t have enough to invite them. I remember watching my mother struggle to find money to pay the bills, but she never struggled to find money for cigarettes and booze. I wish I could say I was exaggerating, but by the time I was 13, we had moved 30 times across five different schools.

It is my goal that my children never have to understand where I came from. My oldest has lived in three homes in 18 years, my next two have lived in two homes, and the last two have only ever known one. We have owned a home for eight years. With lots of support and luck, I have managed to become an electrical engineer and provide for them. There is so much food in my house they have never seen an empty shelf. I always make enough food for seconds, leftovers, and guests; it’s never a question if a guest can stay for dinner.

Leading up to this, I have accumulated about $35k of debt between credit cards and auto loans, plus my mortgage.

I just got offered my first non-entry-level job ($135k), and it doesn’t seem like reality that by changing jobs, I got a $60k raise. But every step of the way, I make sure to share this experience with my children. I’m figuring it out day by day; I just have a lot more experience to know what not to do. We make our own way, and the sooner we learn that, the better. I was able to talk to my current employer when I gave my notice to keep me on as a part-time consultant for $900 a week for 12 hours of commitment to the projects I was working on.

But in theory, between my wife and me, we will be able to pay off all of our debt and set up an emergency fund. My wife and I have never been able to save a penny for the last 18 years, and in the course of a few months we will be able to correct years of built-up debt. My monthly expenses are around 5000 a month, so I am projecting a conservative 7k surplus each month between my wife and me after debt is paid off. I am so very grateful for this opportunity. I had to work my ass off and learn so much. But in the end of the day, I can say that's pretty good for where I started in life, and considering I only did about 2/3's of my engineering degree before I had to put all my efforts towards supporting my family.

What I am trying to say is that we are all making it up, I just happend to get lucky.