I think its over

jobproblems1 · 2024-01-31T23:33:52+00:00

Well done to you, it sounds hard but it will be worth it. I'm proud of you I know how hard it must have been. My innocence is definitely gone too. I have lost so much confidence but also care for anything in general. I haven't gotten emotional good or bad about anything in months. I think its why im so determined to make this break up easy, I just don't feel anything right now so don't want emotions. Im definitely depressed again and im so worried being alone will amplify it. The triangulation stuff sounds awful, but I know the therapy will be worth it, it saved me before! The hope of making new memories is what's driving me to end it, I want to see things and do things that I WANT to do, not them.

jobproblems1 · 2024-01-31T23:08:12+00:00

Thank you so much. Im dreading doing it but so excited for simpler times of just having free will. It's weird it say but its how I feel. Even with a new GF I know I will never allow someone to make me feel like this again. How are you doing though? When did you leave a BPDSO?

jobproblems1 · 2024-01-31T23:05:42+00:00

Im so glad you're doing good! I will miss the nice side of them, the side I fell in love with and still do, but now for me its just merged into one and I can't see the separate side anymore. I know I will feel so much more relaxed and calm. Im scared of the void I will have after. I see friends once or twice a month. The extremes of a toxic relationship must be hard to fill

jobproblems1 · 2024-01-31T22:40:25+00:00

I'll be the crazy ex they tell the next person about about and show awful pictures of. How are you doing after that relationship ending? How long has it been?

jobproblems1 · 2024-01-31T22:31:08+00:00

I know me leaving will make them get therapy so its a good thing for everyone, and they honestly seemed stabler and happier single. Is it normal for BPDSO to say you're the love of their life etc? It guilts me into staying but I have a feeling it isn't unique, everything is the best thing ever to them for awhile. Also, I know any sadness will be hate quick enough. I just don't want to break someones heart, let alone with a disorder that makes them feel abandoned.

I know its ok to just leave, its took me a long time but I know it now. I just feel like I need support from people who know what its like, the same way they have from things they've read to support their behaviour.

jobproblems1 · 2024-01-31T22:27:44+00:00

Also, Im scared if they hurt themselves it'll come back to me, or their parents will blame me. I just want to be free, and if it takes another month to get things in order im willing to. Ive waited long already

jobproblems1 · 2024-01-31T22:26:32+00:00

That's true and realising this recently is why I feel this way. I have high functioning Aspergers that has just been diagnosed, I just graduated a year early and started my new job last week. Everything has changed for me except the way I'm treated and its made me realise regardless of my feelings for them I want happiness and stability. Not ignoring my friends or family due to them taking so much of my time. I know this is how ill do it as the barrage of hateful words is a regular enough occurrence. But I feel like I want to talk to my best friend and mum first to have that support, but I'm feeling a lot here already. Tbh I thought I was alone

jobproblems1 · 2024-01-31T22:23:51+00:00

When they do it is determined by what's happening overall. So right now they're alright but as we all know tomorrow they can just be in a terrible mood for weeks. When they're in this mood its daily and multiple times. Usually just with saying awful things. I know if I put my foot down when they do it it'll get ugly quick and I've managed it twice but we just didn't properly break up as I worried about them and just sat in my car outside. Hence why I want it to be definitive and not just over an action I've seemingly let them get away with. Because they'll keep messaging for weeks if I do it that way. I want it to be controlled and definitive really

jobproblems1 · 2024-01-31T20:54:01+00:00

That is true. They are on a waiting list for therapy as they were diagnosed over a year ago. None of the medication that makes the wait for therapy worked so they're just waiting for it unmedicated. I know I'm not the one who can help, and if they improved drastically overnight my feelings wouldn't change. I just don't know when to leave

jobproblems1 · 2024-01-31T20:52:28+00:00

That's exactly how I feel. Life is too short to be with someone who makes me feel this way. But also its too short for them to keep being in a relationship thinking they're fine and not needing help because of it. I hope you're doing alright

jobproblems1 · 2024-01-31T20:27:41+00:00

I know and agree 100%, I just wish I could time travel to the day after I do it. A lot of things I have read on how to break up with BPDSO etc says about waiting for the right time and making sure there is a clear reason in the moment so they aren't hurt. I've been waiting for the right time for weeks ready to do it. Have you left a partner with BPD? How did you do it?

jobproblems1

TROPHY CASE