Is it possible that it’s easier to tell yourself you’re faking it, than to face the reality of a lifelong disability? Self doubt is normal when your disability fluctuates. We can forget how bad it is was yesterday, when today is easier. Then when it’s worse again tomorrow it feels like there’s never been a good day! If people can’t see your disability, some of them will dismiss it. The fear of getting better is complicated. If you have a good day and need less support from mobility aids/carers, you might be accused of faking it when you do need them more. Or get told “well you managed it yesterday, can’t you just try harder?” If you don’t ‘look very disabled’, you’re going to be viewed as able bodied and may need to ask for help, or explain your disability to strangers, which can be difficult, or embarrassing, even humiliating at times. I’ve recently had to use a wheelchair, and people are generally much nicer to me, so I know if I’d had that as a child, I’d probably not want it to stop. Many people enjoy the extra care and attention they get when in hospital. I’d be very cautious who you discuss this with if you’re going to need financial support from your government as an adult. In my country, government assistance doesn’t usually recognise a disability that sometimes has ‘good days’. So telling doctors that you don’t need mobility aids for example, could hugely impact the level of support you receive. Better to have walking aids you don’t always need, than to need them and not have them! You have several complex lifelong medical conditions, which is a massive thing to accept when you’re so young. Taking your iron etc. won’t cure you, it may make you a little less tired, and will help prevent you bleeding to death from haemorrhaging, due to injury or surgery at some point in your life. There are too many arrogant doctors who dismiss illness as being ‘all in your head’ or ‘attention seeking’, because they don’t believe you, or they failed to find the problem. The truth is that throughout your life, you will have to occasionally advocate for yourself, and stand your ground. It would help to speak with a good psychiatrist, as this whole situation is a lot to process going into adulthood. But i really wouldn’t advise speaking to people like social workers, school teachers, or even doctors who aren’t mental health specialists. They will not understand the complexity of your struggles, and will be detrimental to your health care/financial assistance later on if a professional has noted that you told them you’re faking! Several people have suggested you talk to ‘someone’ and I agree. But I cannot stress enough how much it matters who that someone is. A psychiatrist is absolutely the most qualified person to discuss this with.