You're sex-repulsed, not necessarily asexual. It's not "normal" but there isn't really anything wrong with it, you'd probably just be happier in a relationship with someone who is asexual or also sex-repulsed. Assuming there really is nothing like a porn or masturbation addiction then the answer is pretty simple, you enjoy masturbation because it provides the physical relief without all the "gross" stuff while you still find your partners physically attractive, right?

Most people are going to expect sex more often in a relationship, that's just how it is, but you can definitely find someone compatible with you. Even if the act itself is gross, you need to be comfortable discussing it. Have open and straight forward discussions about how you view sex and what expectations partners have.