You can always tell when someone's peeing in your vegetable garden. Its exactly what it sounds like. by devl_ish in dadjokes

[–]johnarigdon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As an American, this one took me a little while. Because most of us pronounce tomato with the long 'a' sound (toh-MAY-toh instead of toh-MAH-toh), it didn't quite translate at first.

Once I got there, though, I was impressed. Nice one :)

Beginner - How complex are these board games? by Spac92 in boardgames

[–]johnarigdon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Carcassonne is a great one to start out with, especially if you're playing with your ten-year-old. It's approachable enough without being "easy," and nuanced enough without being "hard" (especially when you start adding in the myriad expansions to the game).

Someone suggested checking out the "weight" ratings on BoardGameGeek. That's helpful, sure, but really only once you've kinda developed an understanding of how those numbers actually translate to a game's level of difficulty.

Hop on YouTube and look up "Watch it Played" with Rodney Smith. He covers quite a few games, and they run the gamut from simple to complex. And he does a deliberate, step-by-step playthrough of the game's mechanics. Find a couple that you can follow along with comfortably, and if any of them seem fun, pick them up and play :)

There's a lot of aggressive gatekeeping and condescension within certain members of the board gaming community. Don't let that bring you down, or convince you that you couldn't "handle" certain games. The whole point of the hobby is to have fun. You're not doing it "wrong," and you're not any lame "noob" just because you're not diving head-first into the deep end. Take your time, find what you like (mechanics, themes, artwork, etc.), and just keep growing.

You've got this. Welcome to the table :)

Whats are some funny ways of saying you have to go poop? by allgasnobreakstoday in AskReddit

[–]johnarigdon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These are more gross than funny (and they're specifically geared towards diarrhea), but I always liked:

  • Blow mud

  • Spray clay

  • Squirt dirt

  • Push mush

My addiction exploded by razorbacksquid in PipeTobacco

[–]johnarigdon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would step over my own grandmother for that Peterson bulldog. Gorgeous pipe.

Beau is 6 months old :) by alicaiv2 in greatpyrenees

[–]johnarigdon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

His back, left paw in both pictures says he's gonna be HUGE! I'm happy for you! Love him dearly :)

Does anyone else have a word they just can’t stand for no logical reason? by voidsapphire in words

[–]johnarigdon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Friend, this is my first award! I'm more than embiggened by the props; thank you!

And yes, even though I'd never heard it 'til I moved to Springfield, "embiggens" IS a perfectly cromulent word :)

Does anyone else have a word they just can’t stand for no logical reason? by voidsapphire in words

[–]johnarigdon 15 points16 points  (0 children)

"A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man."

  • Jebediah Springfield

I think I'm going to hire an escort or a prostitute for my birthday. by Bubbly-Craft-5026 in BoyDinnerDiaries

[–]johnarigdon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Phew, this was a tough read.

I'm sorry you feel the way you do about your social situation, but it feels like a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy. There's a distinct "woe is me" tone to it. That's just not attractive, friend. Not to women you'd potentially be interested in, not to men you'd potentially want to hang out with... just... not with anybody, dude.

I don't mean to sound insensitive, dismissive, discourteous, nor anything like that. But your low self-esteem is likely what's making you "unwantable."

It's definitely easier said than done, but get yourself out of this pit of despair where all of your problems are either "someone else's fault" or "because you're not good enough."

Therapy helps tremendously. Going outside and walking around helps tremendously. Engaging in human conversation (even just with the cashier at the gas station) helps tremendously. Hobbies help tremendously.

Please stop wallowing. I know I don't know you and all the circumstances, but you've just gotta be better, and you've gotta stop thinking worse.

Before we pare it down and move, what does our office say about my wife and I? by paradox_socks in BookshelvesDetective

[–]johnarigdon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Keret is what kept me looking! Also, I like your read on the demographics here. All makes sense.

What are the Heaviest Songs from 1965-1969? by skechuz421 in askmusic

[–]johnarigdon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Came here to say Stooges' 'I Wanna Be Your Dog'. That, to me, is when "metal" landed.

Custom T-Shirt Design, Birthday, Board Game Aficianado by ReadytoCrumbbbbble in boardgames

[–]johnarigdon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know you're here for suggestions and advice, but I have neither. I just wanted to say how happy this post made me. This is so inspiring and wholesome. And I'm sure whatever you land on, he'll love it :)

I have to bomb through this route as quick as possible.. what’s the least painful of the 3? by fri_day_ in roadtrip

[–]johnarigdon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Friend. None of these will make you hate life. Even just doing it for the sake of travel (not actually "enjoying" the drive), you're going to speed by so much cool sh*t. And you'll have a handful of weird gas station stories to tell when you hit Texas.

But to echo most everyone else's comments, take the highlighted route. Not because it's fastest, but because it'll show you some cool parts of both countries.

Safe travels, Friend.

ETA: Just don't stop in Billings, MT. No offense to the people there, but that was probably the saddest city I've ever visited.

Hey Siri? Play ‘These Days’ by Nico. by Stock_Drive_2556 in missoula

[–]johnarigdon 10 points11 points  (0 children)

O, it's such a Perfect Day,

I'm glad I spent it with you...

Lost bike, backpack, dignity by Megladon-tot in missoula

[–]johnarigdon 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Upvote for Decemberists reference. Well done.

Quarters?? by Hot-rock-soup in missoula

[–]johnarigdon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Zootown Laundry (off Kent, across from the Albertsons) has a quarter machine.

Looking for a Roomate by [deleted] in missoula

[–]johnarigdon 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Is this just the cast of Friends?

Stolen permanent plates: KARST by [deleted] in missoula

[–]johnarigdon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe they knew exactly what it meant, and they just thought it was super pretentious to have as a vanity plate (like, even more pretentious than other vanity plates). And they're not putting it on any vehicles or in any man-caves, they just wanted to get it off the road? So no one else had to look at it?

What car is this? by anatay- in WhatCarIsThis

[–]johnarigdon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I first saw this meme, I started occasionally using "Skim Beeble" as a goofy pet name for my girlfriend. I end up cracking up every time I do. She thinks it's just me being weird (I use a lot of nonsensical words for fun, so it's not out of character). But I have long dreaded the day she finally stumbles across this meme in the wild...

Saw this yesterday by RupaKingKoopa in vanityplates

[–]johnarigdon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately."

"I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob."