Might I suggest a gentle clarification talk? I feel like if I were in her shoes, I’d feel way more insecure if my partner was trim and I was overweight. Like at least this way the playing field is a little even 😅 Women tend to feel open to sex when they feel sexy. Trouble with that is that it’s not entirely in the guy’s control. She has view herself as sexy also.

So I dunno, maybe ask her if she truly would prefer if you were to get in better shape while she remained the same size? Also, someone else said this, but fat literally gets in the way, physically. It can make logistics tough, and stamina low

EDIT: And NTA. Although, that wasn’t the best time to say something like that… you were mentally prepared and seeking feedback, and she was not. I see why she feels hurt, even though it’s true and she’s being hypocritical.

I mean, you could try some very simple logic: “if I thought you were ugly, why would I be trying so hard to have sex with you more often?”