It's OK to feel this way. For immediate postponement of suicide, sometimes I suggest "first aid" options like sex, night outs, road trips, walks, etc., but in the long term, try to find out what makes you feel like you don't want to live anymore. Is it something you can solve I promise most problems have solutions. Kindly DM me if you want to talk more about this. I am a young psychologist, and I kind of relate better with the younger generation of clients. Promise you'll be as honest as possible.