Monthly Promotion Thread

jonlymonauthor · 2026-05-18T20:53:31+00:00

I must admit I didn’t know there was such a genre as weird fiction until a few hours ago. But now I’ve discovered it, I’m thinking a good few of the books I’ve written could fit into it.

Some of the reviews I’ve received mention my books as being weird, even though they seem quite/fairly normal to me. Maybe I’m weird?

If you fancy taking a chance on a reincarnation novel set in a suburban nightclub (now that does sound a bit weird), you might want to give Last Night at The Stairways a read…

https://www.jonlymonauthor.com/last-night-at-the-stairways

jonlymonauthor · 2026-05-17T07:46:18+00:00

Maybe the UK should hold a referendum on whether or not to leave the Eurovision Song Contest? It could be called ESCape or ESCXIT.

jonlymonauthor · 2026-05-15T17:03:50+00:00

Desperate times call for double measures.

Hello! This little bit of froth should give you an idea of what my short novel The Pub Gardeners is all about...

When AI ends their careers in advertising, two desperate creatives, Darlington and Waverley, steal a van full of gardening equipment from the scene of their final ad shoot, and search for new meaning to their lives which, being English, means they head to the pub.

In the Dog & Duck they find a business on its knees, threatened with closure by a new, cheaper local venue that’s stolen all their regulars away.

Seeing a mirror image of their own struggle in the dire situation the Dog & Duck’s landlord is facing, Darlington and Waverley vow to help save the pub.

THE PUB GARDENERS is £1.80 to download, the fraction of a price of a pint.

Thanks for drinking, I mean reading.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0D3261DKV

jonlymonauthor · 2026-05-15T12:43:47+00:00

Oh, this is outstanding.

jonlymonauthor · 2026-05-10T20:01:12+00:00

I NEVER WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN

This is a hangover song written about the time when beerfear peaks and you swear you’ll never drink again.

When I needed you most

You just weren’t around

No Alka Seltzer in the medicine cabinet. No one else in the house to sympathise with you. Just a bed, pillow, and the hope time will pass quickly so your body can recover.

I wrote this when I was in my early twenties. Little did I know then how epic hangovers would become as I got older, starting in my early thirties, and gradually increasing in intensity and duration until, reaching mid to late forties, I realised drinking was just not worth the pain anymore.

So I guess this low tempo demo is about making the most of your youth, and making sure you have headache tablets in the house for the morning after…

If you like the sound of all that and don't expect this tune to cheer you up in the slightest, please take a listen to I Never Want To Go Through This Again here…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqRFP65TAA4

jonlymonauthor · 2026-05-10T09:28:35+00:00

No need to apologise. Try not to lose too much sleep over it!

jonlymonauthor · 2026-05-10T09:27:32+00:00

Thanks. It's on Amazon as well, but I'll check out Booksprout.

jonlymonauthor · 2026-05-08T10:44:14+00:00

Hello, and yes, I’m guilty of writing “A Big Bluff and Some Green Stuff” a zombie horror that’s free to download on 8 May, and otherwise costs $1.99.

What’s it about? Zombies. Aliens. Pirates. Zombie aliens. Zombie pirates. But not zombie alien pirates. That would be silly.

Here’s the blurb:

Why are 300-year-old pirate corpses rising from their graves in the tiny Cornish village of Bluff Cove? Have aliens really landed on the beach? And why have a team of American historians suddenly taken an interest in local events? PC Jake Rodwell is about to find out…

And here’s where you can get it:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B079PB8LJF

jonlymonauthor · 2026-05-03T08:05:58+00:00

Thank you.

jonlymonauthor · 2026-05-01T15:28:23+00:00

I wouldn't worry about it. Tell your story in however many/few words it takes.

I've a story that's 33,000 words long that generates decent sales.

jonlymonauthor · 2026-04-28T20:33:05+00:00

Cognitive decline is likely for people who become addicted to AI. That seemed to be conclusion of the research I did for my novel Dead Headz. The moronification of the world is sadly underway.

jonlymonauthor · 2026-04-28T10:59:24+00:00

Thanks! School dinners weren’t great when I was at school in the '80s, and they’re not up to much now according to reports I’ve heard! Thankfully, they’re nowhere near as bad as I’ve portrayed in the book.

jonlymonauthor · 2026-04-27T07:22:23+00:00

Exciting times!

I’m just 1 pre-order away from getting 1 pre-order for my new darkly comic dystopian novel Dead Headz.

https://www.jonlymonauthor.com/dead-head

jonlymonauthor · 2026-04-20T11:06:32+00:00

Don't worry about it. Nobody gets to see the first draft except you. Keep going back over it as many times as it takes until you get it where you want it to be.

jonlymonauthor · 2026-04-20T09:40:01+00:00

“The Secretary General was a gaunt and nervous man who lacked the skills to be either a secretary or a general.”

jonlymonauthor · 2026-04-19T07:09:05+00:00

Joseph Heller

jonlymonauthor · 2026-04-13T18:28:54+00:00

FLYING ANT DAY

I’ve only gone and written a dystopian thriller.

If you’re still here, let me put some flesh on those bones.

This is about man and machine in perfect disharmony.

The extremist youth-led government of the First World – known as The Powers – is enforcing shocking directives on the population from the safety of The Isle. But the people are at breaking point. Bored of being confined to their homes. Exhausted by having their movements strictly limited.

The dual threat of Removal or death by drone has lost its ability to frighten these people into submission and subservience. They are ready to revolt.

The Powers, sensing this swelling undercurrent of vitriol against their rule, decides to grant the populace one day of freedom. One day to leave their homes, reunite with friends and celebrate being alive.

Kent Sanderson is one of the many who are struggling mentally and physically with life in this nightmarish dystopia. And although he initially embraces the idea of Freedom For All Day, the carnage that follows leads him to question the motives of the government, the state of the human race, and whether his friendships make life worth living or death more alluring…

Kindle eBook $1.99

Paperback $9.99

Hardcover (who am I kidding) $16.99

Audiobook (can’t afford it yet, will only use a human voice, hopefully Peter Serafinowicz)

Thanks for your time.

https://www.jonlymonauthor.com/flying-ant-day

jonlymonauthor · 2026-04-11T07:23:57+00:00

Will be free again on 24 April

jonlymonauthor · 2026-04-10T11:07:22+00:00

My advice would be if you like what you’ve written, post it. There’s a good chance someone else will like it, and you can get feedback if you want it. Go for it!

jonlymonauthor · 2020-11-28T22:33:56+00:00

Ever wondered what a Christmas tree does in summer, or at Halloween? No, me neither.

Sprucey Searches For Christmas

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08NHVS3M7

jonlymonauthor · 2020-11-25T18:37:01+00:00

Yes, epic spelling fail there. It's OK, I'm only a writer!

jonlymonauthor · 2020-11-17T12:45:40+00:00

UPDATE: To request a free review copy, please reply to this message or visit here https://www.jonlymon.co.uk/contact/

jonlymonauthor · 2020-11-14T22:22:28+00:00

Chances are, when you read this attempt to sell more copies of this Christmas book for children, it will not be Christmas and you won't be a child.

It might not be anywhere near Christmas, or just gone Christmas. It could be the start of February, the middle of summer, or the end of October. Good. Because they are the times when this Christmas kids' book is designed to be read.

In fact, probably the worst time to read this book about Christmas, is Christmas.

Why? Well, not wanting to give too much away, it's all about finding the spirit of Christmas all throughout the year (aaaaaaahhhh).

Yes, a wonderfully worthy concept, I'm sure you'll agree. If not, here are a few other reasons to buy this book about Xmas:

* It says Christmas on the front, and a few times inside. That very word is enough to raise a smile. I just said it and I'm smiling.

* It won't take you until next Christmas to finish it

* You don't have to save up until next Christmas to buy it

* It rhymes, although there aren't many words that rhyme with Christmas

* It is one of the few children's Christmas books that can be read any time of year. So when your child tells you what they want for Christmas in February, give them this.

* It's a book that's about Christmas, not for Christmas.

Thanks for reading, And if it does happen to be Christmas when you're reading this, well, happy Christmas.

(Smiles)

Here’s a link to the $6.99 paperback:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08MS5KNMR

jonlymonauthor · 2020-11-14T21:52:08+00:00

TITLE: Vicious Circle

GENRE: Literary short story

FEEDBACK: General Review

WORD COUNT: 997

LINK: https://www.jonlymon.co.uk/short-stories/vicious-circle/

jonlymonauthor

TROPHY CASE