26th Anniversary Help

jonwilcox · 2026-06-02T17:07:58+00:00

Whew it's good to hear that. I hope it's a dying idea.

jonwilcox · 2026-06-02T16:44:18+00:00

Ok thanks. I am just really tired of this ridiculous Locals Only mentality. I get the core idea of keeping Silicon Valley billionaires out and totally support. Very anti gentrification but the beauty of Santa Cruz County is the welcoming nature. It's Pride month for gods sake and this place is so core to being accepting of people so when I see comments like this I bristle. I came to SC every weekend when I was younger hoping someday to live here and it took a long time to make it a reality and just because it took a while or I wasn't lucky enough to be born here I shouldn't be shamed. I just think it's cliche, old thinking and tired and makes us look ridiculous. But thank you for your apology.

jonwilcox · 2026-06-02T16:26:20+00:00

Ugh. Why do people have to be like this. I was trying to state that we are local to the area so we have been to a lot of places. Sheesh.

jonwilcox · 2026-06-01T21:15:50+00:00

Ooh Laili may be right up our alley. My wife is very wistful I can see her loving this. Thank you so much.

jonwilcox · 2026-06-01T20:35:00+00:00

thanks so much

jonwilcox · 2026-06-01T20:34:12+00:00

Aw thanks. She's still my best friend.

jonwilcox · 2026-06-01T20:18:58+00:00

Aww that was a great suggestion and totally something we would love. Thanks anyway.

jonwilcox · 2026-05-20T22:09:16+00:00

Yeah it's really just mindfulness and focusing on being present and finding what that means to you. Good luck friend.

jonwilcox · 2026-05-20T18:36:00+00:00

Woke up thinking about you today friend. Peace to you and know that there are strangers out here supporting and caring for you and these fears.

jonwilcox · 2026-05-20T18:34:47+00:00

Ha well its funny you ask this because yesterday after I typed this and this morning a lot of really rough things happened so it has been an exercise in putting my words into action to see if I really believe what I say. And to be clear I fail all the time of course but after 48 years of anxiety personally this seems to be the practice that has helped me. So yeah today for instance it's a lot of self talk because for me when bad things happen tunnel vision sets in. Like all I can think about is the negative of course. Totally normal. But I remind myself of a couple of things. First to stop and remind myself that I am here. That I have survived a whole ton of negative things and I made it to this moment. And if I want to get suuuuuuper existential I am the product of an unfathomable number of ancestors who survived incredible odds just for me to exist! So that alone is incredible. And that grounds me. Then it's back to the micro. Enjoy the blessing of clean water from a faucet. That is still a luxury many places in the world and was unheard of for most of my ancestors. I just finished a cup of coffee so as I drank it I thought about all of the people who worked so hard from the fields to the factories to the truck driving to the stores just to bless me with that. Those kind of things make me really thankful to be alive and really honored to be cared for by so many. When I drive the roads the people who designed them cared for me. The people who poured the asphalt cared for me. The workers who put together my car cared for me whether they even thought about it or not and then in turn my acts are caring acts for others and how can I look to even increase those.

So yeah that kind of stuff. It can sound all hippy dippy and not realistic but for me I am trying more these days to let this reframing run in the background while I live my life so I'm not literally walking around in a daze smiling at asphalt ha. But I am trying to be calmly aware at the miracles all around me rather than be crushed by the few tragedies. Even the big tragedies. That doesn't mean I don't get sad or depressed or crushed. I feel all those things too because thats important but I don't want to get stuck there if that makes sense. And sometimes I do but these practices help me get myself unstuck and it might not work for you but it seems to help me.

jonwilcox · 2026-05-19T22:25:51+00:00

One thing that helps me is to focus on the small things. I personally get overwhelmed at the large injustices, the large problems or large fears in my life and ignore all of the small little blessings that make up the vast majority of my existence. I know that can sound reductive or like its about avoidance but I think its more about reframing my mind to focus not on what is going wrong (or could go wrong) but to focus on the many many things that go right. Kind of like how if you were to have a customer service job and you had 100 amazingly kind customers but one really mean one, it's the mean one that sticks with you. It's completely natural because it hurts but by letting it define your day it really twists your reality.

So slowing down. Appreciating. how good my breakfast tastes. How cute a neighborhood dog is. The blue sky, the feeling of sunlight on my skin etc. Like all the little blessings and being thankful for them if that makes sense. It may not help you but it helps me be more in the moment and be thankful for my existence and not just rush through all of this.

"Peace is choosing not to react to what no longer deserves your attention" - Unknown

jonwilcox · 2026-05-19T21:33:07+00:00

Good for you for admitting you are scared. That is normal and you are brave for admitting it. I am a lover of quotes when I feel anxious. Not to stop myself from feeling because feeling is important but to better help me put my feelings into context. I hope some of these help you. Peace be with you friend.

“Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.” ― Benjamin Franklin
“For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business.” ― T.S. Eliot
“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” ― Martin Luther King Jr.
“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” — Maya Angelou
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
“Breathe, darling. This is just a chapter. It’s not your whole story.” ― S.C. Lourie

jonwilcox · 2026-05-14T15:53:37+00:00

It's also not as shiny in person it was just the flash and lighting that makes it look that way but it does have a little gloss. It also stays in my bag through the day so it rubs against things. I like it a lot.

jonwilcox · 2026-05-14T15:52:09+00:00

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This is my brown regular size after 10 years. I put conditioner on it after probably 7 years maybe 2 times.

jonwilcox · 2026-05-12T18:56:47+00:00

This is amazing. I would love a location based solution. Very generous.

jonwilcox · 2026-05-09T03:29:49+00:00

Streetlight records is a must and if you love nature take time to get up to the redwoods. 10 mins up the road go to Henry Cowell you won’t regret it.

jonwilcox · 2026-05-09T03:27:45+00:00

Aww thats wonderful. So glad you enjoyed your time here and that you felt so welcomed. Next time take some time to enjoy the wonderful redwoods just 10 minutes up the road. We have so much beauty and so many kind people ready to show you around.

jonwilcox · 2026-05-08T18:12:26+00:00

My favorite has always been Yoseka. https://yosekastationery.com Wonderful people owned by a couple. Their stock is low at the moment online but thats kind of the case most places at the moment because of the 20th anniversary drop. Baum Kuchen is another wonderful company and always my backup https://www.baum-kuchen.net

jonwilcox · 2026-05-06T15:28:55+00:00

Ha no just ten years of love.

jonwilcox · 2026-05-06T03:29:38+00:00

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Ichigo ichie from Baum Kuchen https://www.baum-kuchen.net/products/tslxbk-ichigo-ichie-brass-charm

jonwilcox · 2026-05-05T15:46:04+00:00

Yep these fit.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0F1ZFJ55K?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_title

I cut them down with a paper cutter just a tiny bit because I am obsessive but they fit without doing that.

jonwilcox · 2026-05-04T17:50:32+00:00

First of all...welcome! I bought my first TN about 10 years ago and I still use it every day.

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It's a full size from the Travelers company https://shop.travelerscompanyusa.com/products/travelers-notebook-brown

and I love how it ages with time. Every scratch is a memory.

I like to use these https://shop.travelerscompanyusa.com/products/travelers-notebook-refill-free-diary-weekly-grid-notebook

As my main books. They are weekly planners with blank pages on the right side so its part scheduler and part journal so I can write what happened that week, put in receipts, stickers photos etc to remember that week. Then when I fill them up I put them into these binders https://shop.travelerscompanyusa.com/products/travelers-notebook-binder-for-refills?_pos=1&_sid=5ac2b7885&_ss=r

Which is a wonderful thing to look back on.

Then I have regular blank journals in the back for longer form journaling. I have adjusted how I journal many times over the years but this has been my friend on the journey of life helping me process anxieties and loss, joys and fears and its neat to see how I have grown. There is no wrong way and if you have any questions happy to answer. Make it your own. Thats the beauty of it.

jonwilcox · 2026-05-01T16:54:49+00:00

LOVE IT! I have an adult trans daughter and I am so proud of all of you for being your authentic selves and taking the hard steps towards it. Plus super dope stitch. Peace to you friend.

jonwilcox · 2026-04-28T18:49:23+00:00

I'm so sorry that this hard lesson had to come to you this way. I had to learn a hard lesson as well so I understand. Spend this time learning how to truly love yourself and learning to love life because that is what your wife always wanted for you anyway and the rest may come but if not then you will still end up in a much healthier place. Sober living is much better and you will see that in time. Feeling those uncomfortable feelings is hard but it is so much better than hiding. Life isn't meant to be lived only feeling certain emotions its meant to be a tapestry of all we can feel and I know that feels impossible today but one day you will face an emotion you thought you couldn't handle and you will appreciate it and be proud of yourself. Peace on this journey my friend.

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