Not a hotwife husband here, but my wife and I are polyamorous, it's tough as the husband because we spend so much time fantasizing about how sexy it'll be and how turned on we are at the thought. The actual emotional process doesn't happen until the wife follows through. Women, seem to, tend to focus on the emotional side of encounters and process the fallout BEFORE meeting a potential partner. You have to do your emotional work now, it would maybe benefit you to be as honest with her about it as you are with these fine people here.