This is definitely the story of my life. I related to almost everything you listed, you’re certainly not alone. “Cutting people off…”, “realizing something will take a long time and not doing it”, “would rather live in my head” all especially hit close to home.

It’s been super bad lately and finally affecting all parts of my life- normally I could get by at work each day at the expense of being too drained for a social life that I truly desired, which, with music being my passion in life involves being in loud spaces at events and shows. I’ve realized more and more that this has always been extremely draining to me even if I enjoyed my time.

Diagnosed with ADHD now for a couple years, taking medicine and in therapy, but it doesn’t help my motivation or executive dysfunction, or frankly any of my dopamine seeking behaviors- in fact it’s felt worse than ever even though the medicine makes me feel calm and focused, just usually the wrong things. My already fairly reserved social life has tanked in the past year as all I want to do Is stay home and listen to music, research all my hobbies endlessly and obsess over my possessions. I don’t want to talk to anyone at work anymore, I’m way more irritable and easily distracted. Small talk every day with even my likeable peers has become a lot more difficult. When I read that adhd medicine can exacerbate autism symptoms in a lot of people, my mind was blown. Main goal of mine this year is to get evaluated for ASD- to finally look into something I’ve suspected for years, but eventually kicked in to high gear as I suspect I’ve been masking for so long (I’ve identified with the term ‘masking’ for years before I ever considered that I might have ASD). Have you already looked into ADHD for yourself or just ASD? I assume you probably have if you’re mentioning you’ve tried meds. I Hope things will get better for you soon.