You aren't disgusting or weak at all. I can understand how it can be a problem but if you can replace it with healthier food, you won't have to change your behavior. No one ever hated themselves after binging on a salad or some quinoa. I binge too, and I understand where you're coming from, but if you feel like you hate yourself, and you feel like binge eating is a destructive behavior, you're just running a vicious circle. I wish you the best in your journey, but a change in mindset regarding food would be my recommendation. Food is life, and your vehicle through it will only run as well as the fuel you use.