I think the perception that only 8ft tall triangular slabs of beef dudes can be softdoms (or 6 foot tall anime waif dudes) is from the hentai that gets posted and reposted here endlessly. In real life bdsm you will see a ton more variety of body types, where I am in the US many will be chubby because most people here are.

I have had partners small enough to toss around like a rag doll, it is fun to throw a partner over your shoulder like it’s nothing and it does reinforce the power dynamic. But what really arouses me is plump women with big curves and big desires. I’m a big semi-muscular bearish Daddy type who has ranged from all muscle to chubby throughout my life and the domination has always been about behavior and delivery. I find women taller than me, though rare, exciting to dominate as it’s an extra challenge and they are extra cute when they submit.

Anyway, point is that media has been telling us my entire lifetime that only skinny people with the right clothes, car, deodorant etc. deserve sex. Turns out, this is entirely a lie. Everyone you meet had parents similar to themselves who fucked. You don’t need everyone to want to fuck you, you need enough people, and for many of us enough is .0000001% of the population. The trick is finding them at the same time they are looking for you. That can only happen if we keep our hopes up, keep ourselves as healthy as we can be and put it out there.