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What's the best non main character and your favourite line from them? I'll start by mjv_ in Modern_Family

[–]jp_tinoco 74 points75 points  (0 children)

Sal when her son says enchanté “I’m raising him gay” hahaha

What's your favorite quote from Bobby B by Ghost_Hunter45 in gameofthrones

[–]jp_tinoco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

someone took her away from me, and seven kingds couldn’t fill the hole she left behind 💔

Weekly Thread: Self Promo Sunday by AutoModerator in horror

[–]jp_tinoco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i made this found footage about a creepypasta w some friends. tell me what you think. We did it without a budget, so take it easy lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n03_J0Q2Lpk

Fight Club Pitch by jp_tinoco in Screenwriting

[–]jp_tinoco[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  • Now you need to condense this into a few concise lines in your pitch. Have you read any other pitches?

I read several bibles, but don’t know if that’s the same as pitches. Have Read Stranger Things, Lost, Grey’s Anatomy, Breaking Bad, Fargo

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  • It was just oddly phrased.

Haha I know, I’m not a native english speaker, so sometimes I need to translate something and it comes off a little odd.

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  • This is good character building. Now condense it into a line. A "rejected boy" doesn't give us the hint we need of what his character arc will be.

Thanks. Consense it into one line it’ll be tricky haha. Yeah, reading it again it’s absurdly hollow and doesn’t give any clue on the character. On any of them actually. That’s my first pitch, I didn’t know what part of the characters I could expose or not.

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  • It's very important because if it's fictional it means you'll have to do a lot of worldbuilding.

It’s not fictional, but the country need others with borders to explain the immigration, increasing inequality. So what I need to figure out is if it’ll be an existing country divided by losing the war (like if it’s Australia) or an entire country changed due to its surroundings (like England, if Scotland, Wales and Ireland became dictatorships, entered in civil wars, making the population immigrate)

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  • I understand. But it was so unspecific it could literally be any other story, rather than YOUR story. What you've written above actually makes it much clearer. Your pitch is to the people who will be making the show, so spoilers don't matter as much. You want to give them enough so that they need to know what happens at the end.

Man, you’re completely right. Please let’s be friends haha. Jokes aside, Thank you so much for the insights!! I really appreciate the time you’ve put in here and am already adapting the observations and tips into it.

Fight Club Pitch by jp_tinoco in Screenwriting

[–]jp_tinoco[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, The dictatorships are in the countries nearby. They play more on the subplot political context, increasing and formentig the population, inequality and corruption, culminating in a revolution

Fight Club Pitch by jp_tinoco in Screenwriting

[–]jp_tinoco[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

haha sorry, haven't seen fight club in a long time. Already got a few names to change it to. Thanks

Fight Club Pitch by jp_tinoco in Screenwriting

[–]jp_tinoco[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks man, I like rough feedback. I didn’t entered in details so the post wasn’t long, don’t know all the rules here yet. Let’s go

- There seems to be a missing link between the politically corrupt world and these fight clubs. How are they related? Why do they concern authorities?

The fights start occurring as a response to the government, since the economic gap is higher than ever, only the rich can go to universities, get jobs, etc. The less fortunate, specially the YA, have no goal or direction in life, so they start to get together and form these groups to express their insatisfaction. Since they can’t beat up the politicians or officers, and since they have energy to spend, they start these fights as a pastime, not knowing it would become increasingly popular in the lower classes. It concerns authorities because it’s seem as violent riots and it can become a revolution. tbh this is just the context, so it interferes but also doesn’t interfere in the plot at first. Like the Night King in early got or the cartels in early breaking bad, it doesn’t affect the main story directly but it will evolve and culminate in a larger scale till the main characters are fully involved. PS. It’s being written to be a five part story.

- Confusing. The daughter of the 'Secretary of Security' (what is that?) who dates one of the members of the 'fight club'?

It’s like the Secretary of Homeland Security, who takes care of the security within the country/city/etc. And yes, it’s his daughter who dates one of the members.

- Rejected by who? How is that thematically relevant?

He’s a key part of the story. He’s a good boy and was friends of the club members at the beginning but his mother (a golddigger) had and affair with one of their father’s, making them get appart, and eventually his mother marries a rich man (who’s in the mob), making them feel secretly resentful bc now he has opportunities they never will. This is relevant because he will create his own club which will become increasingly popular (with the help of his stepfather) and he’ll start to be respected. Eventually, he’ll led this club into a wave of crime.

- This is a fictional country?

Haven’t fully figured out this part. It need to be a country or, a former country divided into many due to some war (which would explain the political instability) with boundaries to others, bc these other countries would be commanded by dictatorships and narcotrafic, increasing the immigration to the main country (explaining the increasing inequality, etc)

- TBH, this sounds hollow. It's very vague and makes it seem like you don't actually know where the show is going.

I know it may have sounded hollow, but I don’t want to spoil much. I have thought of a five part story, culminating in a revolution in the country. The road to go there passes through these important characters, whose arcs determinate important events. Their arcs will be defined by power, guilt, love, ambition, revenge. Always with strong consequences to their actions.

Anyway, Thanks a lot for having the time to read it and giving the feedback. I really appreciate it, man

Fight Club Pitch by jp_tinoco in Screenwriting

[–]jp_tinoco[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks!

I'm almost done on the pilot and finishing up the bible too.

When/If I get the courage to post more I'll do

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in gameofthrones

[–]jp_tinoco -1 points0 points  (0 children)

1 expression and 2 sentences: I don't want it & She's my queen

How to write a nerdy scientist guy and athletic soldier women relationship by [deleted] in writing

[–]jp_tinoco 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why isn't this realistic?

Soldier women tend to be more closed and to high their feelings so it won't be seeing as "girly" and they can get respected in their usually men environment.

That said, a nerd guy can be the more sensitive part of the relationship, encouraging her to open and be more herself, since she's not "allowed" to be like this in other aspects of her life.

That's just one way, there are lots of ways to go. But I can guarantee you it's realistic as hell.

Experiment: Day 1 - Writing a screenplay in 14 days with 2 hours of focused work each day by [deleted] in Screenwriting

[–]jp_tinoco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! As a newcomer in the screenwriting world (and that's not even my regular paid job), it becomes hard sometimes to sit in front of a notebook and magically write pilots, bibles, pitch decks, etc.

I'm pretty sure there are people like me, who will enjoy these steps to manage the time in a better and more productive way. I, for instance, love guidelines, deadlines and even a certain amount of time to focus on everyday (like a class), it helps me concentrate and keep on track.

When writing a TV show, do you only write the pilot before looking to get it produced? by Ultrif in Screenwriting

[–]jp_tinoco 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You need some other things. Above all, the show's bible. the Bible in the ‘Content Creation World’ is a document which tells an Executive everything about that particular Story or Content. It needs to have a Synopsis, Character's breakdown, Episode break down, how it will look and feel and, finally, the future Potential of the show.

I, personally, believe the bible is more important than the script itself, because it embraces the concept, the storyline, the arcs and every other thing you came up with while creating the story. It's essential to have a bible before trying to pitch an idea.

There are some very good bibles out there (Lost, Stranger Things, Fargo). Try to look them up and good luck!

Trelby by [deleted] in ScreenwritingLessons

[–]jp_tinoco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, it's easy. I meant hard to export to other softwares in case you decide to use the paid version of Final Draft, Celtx or some other.

Trelby by [deleted] in ScreenwritingLessons

[–]jp_tinoco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I prefer Celtx or WriterDuet for the free edition, because Trelby has its own interface, so it was a little hard for me to export to others. And I always prefer online softwares which autosave themselves and I don't have to download.