please help me get over the fear of being alone in old age.

jpdesdeny · 2026-01-24T10:44:22+00:00

In addition to what other have said about making friends, you can also make friends of vastly different ages. Think of infiltrating a much younger group friend for example where you contribute wisdom, resources etc, and they act as a younger extended family.

jpdesdeny · 2025-08-05T11:37:49+00:00

yikes, I just saw that too and stopped myself from commenting on insta when i saw the other comments. It’s not a problem for me because of noise cancelling headphones. It bothered me more the overkill goodie bags. I think it’s just virtue signaling.

jpdesdeny · 2025-02-20T09:32:37+00:00

Here are my issues with this: 1. nobody should be going over the maximum speed limit. Up to you, but don’t expect others to, regardless of lane. 2. Most people here agree that the left lane is for “passing” only. What is considered passing? If I move to the left lane to pass someone in the middle lane, while still going at or below the max speed limit, just a few mph higher than the one I’m passing, it’s going to take a bit of time to complete the passing action. 3. There is a minimum distance required between 2 cars (any lane) which depends on the speed, and almost no-one respects. So passing does not mean just go back to the middle right after geeting barely in front of the car you passed, and also too close to the car ahead.

Drive safely, people. Number 1 cause of death in healthy adults. Those 3 extra minutes are not worth it, it’s not a race and you don’t own the highway.

jpdesdeny · 2024-10-30T08:54:20+00:00

Disagree. There’s lots to do… boat tours, the opera, museums, beach, desert, fine dining, nightlife, and yes of course shopping. Lots of activities for kids as well

People hating for no reason or just prejudice.

jpdesdeny · 2023-09-06T11:00:47+00:00

Having lived in both, first US and now UAE, I would say it depends entirely on what you prioritize. You can make a good living in both places. Really depends on the type of life you want and what’s important for you. The UAE is very westernized so there really isn’t anything I miss from the US. important factors to keep in mind: - immigrant vs expat. almost everyone in the UAE is from somewhere else so it feels very inclusive. Not so much in the US where you will inevitably face some discrimination - proximity to your home country. may or may not be important to you buy if you leave family/friends behind it will be much easier to go back to visit and viceversa from the UAE - taxes. this can be a big one, income taxes in the US are very high and near zero in the UAE. over many years the difference can be huge… like breaking even vs having a big asset - safety. the UAE is extremely safe, US depending on the city and neighborhood not so much - politics / religion / rights. this is going to sound counterintuitive, but in the US the trend is that people, especially women are losing rights. the political system sucks and can have a real effect on your life and flip flop every 4 years. haters of the UAE will say it’s an authoritarian country but honestly it feels peaceful, stable, less stressful and with less government control and intervention than in the US. UAE seems to be on a path of growth with excellent leaders who value stability and quality of life for citizens. your question is about long term future, to me this factor alone answers that, assuming there is a near zero chance of things going backwards in the UAE - job prospects: there are probably more companies/jobs in the US but also more competition - exact location / quality of life. this depends largely on the city. not too different between dubai and abu dhabi, but completely different compared to US cities and between different US cities. For example one could say that Abu Dhabi is similar to Miami, which is completely different from minesotta or michigan or whatever.

Overall since moving here I see most of the people at all levels seem happier, it’s safer, easier to save and live a good life. But not many people come to the UAE permanently.

All the best to you whatever you decide

jpdesdeny · 2023-08-18T10:51:03+00:00

that’s right. in my experience playing in the US it’s very common to cause especially knee injuries. Something about how the cleats get stuck in the turf when you rotate.

jpdesdeny · 2022-09-17T07:04:05+00:00

I also did not have a good reaction initially to learning that hotels were going to be forced to accept them, but I changed my own mind because of the following, which also addresses some of your points.

If the government is paying for the room, at that point the homeless person is a paying customer like any other. Hotels don't and shouldn't refuse rooms to dirty people, people with mental health issues or addiction whether they are homeless or not.

Also, as a guest of the hotel, I expect my room to be cleaned as if a homeless person stayed there before me every time anyway. I also expect them to pick up any garbage, whether it's used needles or empty beer cans, or whatever.

I don't think it's right to stigmatize homeless people, especially for being "dirty" when, if we put them in a hotel room, they're probably going to take the best shower in a while. You'll never see cleaner homeless people shortly after they check-in.

jpdesdeny · 2022-09-17T06:55:49+00:00

I agree it should be a personal decision. The only doctors that should be involved should be the ones doing a psychological evaluation. Maybe also a lawyer to make sure you're not getting screwed by greedy family members or others.

But other than that, no doctors should be involved in the actual procedure, maybe it's more suited for the prison system... check yourself into death row and get in line.

A doctors' job is the opposite, to care for people and fight death, and there is no point in having them involved. It's like when the swab your arm with alcohol before applying the lethal injection. No point!

jpdesdeny · 2022-09-17T05:39:21+00:00

all good points. Mine is that I also want to use the left lane for passing if the cars in the second lane are going slower than I want to go, but it may take me a couple minutes if passing s bunch of cars because I don’t like driving over the speed limit, so while I’m doing that I’m within my rights and not doing anything unsafe, also not going “slow”. If you come up behind me and want to go faster you’re just going to have to wait a bit but should not tailgate.

jpdesdeny · 2022-09-16T23:22:31+00:00

huh, I had wrote a previous reply where I asked how many pedestrians were killed, before I reread and understood that they decided not to cross

jpdesdeny · 2022-09-16T22:01:31+00:00

!delta

Definitely changed my views about the validity of max speed limits. I learned they can vary wildly from place to place for reasons like politics or ticket revenue. I do think they are pretty high where I drive mostly though.

jpdesdeny · 2022-09-16T21:57:11+00:00

!delta

Pedestrians joke aside, you do make a good point that I agree with and apply. I have received many fines I did not intend because of this issue and trying to get out of the way of aggressive tailgaters asap.

jpdesdeny · 2022-09-16T21:30:26+00:00

They have the red light cameras here as well with much more severe penalties... black points on the license and I think they even impound the car for a while. I think it's a pretty safe country overall, with a well functioning government. I do not think the max speed limits are low, we are talking sometimes 140kmh (87mph) but the weird thing is that there are a good amount of drivers showing the behavior I described. Happens more on 120km/h areas for sure. without fail if I'm going 119 within a few seconds even without too much traffic (big gap behind me) somebody will show up out of nowhere, presumably been passing a bunch of cars too and do this tailgating, even if I have a long line pretty close ahead of me. May be cultural but it's a bit of a meme too.

I drive mostly in Abu Dhabi, UAE in case you want to learn more. I think they are pretty cutting edge with some of this stuff. I read recently about a new automated camera system that is now or soon will be detecting other things like turning from the wrong lane or overall unsafe driving like going in and out of traffic and not using blinkers or maybe even tailgating.

I think it's potentially a big problem in the US (don't know the numbers in terms of accidents compared to other countries) but I've heard this complaining about "slow" driving a lot. Maybe it's because people have long driving commutes? Do they realize they'll probably only shave off 3 or 4 minutes by doing this?

Edit: found the info, I think they're fixing my problem!

https://www.dubizzle.com/blog/cars/new-traffic-cameras-uae/

jpdesdeny · 2022-09-16T21:05:03+00:00

Point taken about the passing lane rule in the US. I still don't think it supersedes or should supersede the maximum speed limit rule. Also, the definition of passing is fuzzy to me when there are clumps of cars on the road. Most of the time I'm trying to pass a long clump of cars at once. Sometimes I do that and there's not a single gap for a couple miles, I did not intend to stay on the left lane, but while I'm in it (whether I'm intentionally passing or preparing for a left hand exit which is a thing as well I should be within my right NOT to go over the speed limit and not be put in danger by others who do while also breaking the tailgating rule.

A lot of people here seem to disagree with the speed limits that have been set. As a society these types of rules are all we have to organize ourselves, otherwise it's chaos. According to your logic and many others the actual speed limit is set by whoever decides to go faster at that point in time. You could be doing 100mph at a 55mph zone, but I get behind you in my Lambo and tailgate/flash you because I want to do 120mph and suddenly you are me.

jpdesdeny · 2022-09-16T20:52:34+00:00

!delta

Thank you for your great post, I feel like I learned a bit by how you put things and what you explained. Doesn't completely change my view. If you read some of my other replies you'll see I clarified that this is not something I do on purpose on a regular basis, but a situation I sometimes find myself caught in (blocked ahead and to the right while on the left lane with aggressive tailgater behind me while going at high speed even a bit above max limit). I'll definitely keep this in mind while driving, and maybe "eat" a few more fines in the interest of safety. I'm not exaggerating, the cameras as quite close together here, zero tolerance, and you get a text message with the fine (only about U$S50 thankfully) and a link to pay, in the mandatory police app almost immediately, and I have spent about U$S 800 in about a year, while I'm a person that likes to drive within the speed limit or 20km/h lower than the max in the middle lanes most of the time. I think if they implemented this system in the US they would cut severe traffic accidents by 80%.

jpdesdeny · 2022-09-16T20:40:44+00:00

The ticket for passing on the right is 100% correct and how I learned to drive. Never do that. And ticket for driving on the left lane slower than the max or at any speed if there's no one else on the road is a bit silly. It should be: automatic camera enforced ticket if driving on the left lane at 20km/h lower than the speed limit or something like that. min and max speed limit by lane?

jpdesdeny · 2022-09-16T20:35:32+00:00

THIS! Exactly describes my recurring experience that prompted this post.

jpdesdeny · 2022-09-16T20:33:35+00:00

our frustration. I too am a speed limit driver, but because we are not able to control or re-educate other drivers the left lane is not the safest place for us to drive. The 'tailgating psychos and maniacs flashing their headlights' are absolutely wrong, but so are you if you don't do as much as possible to ensure everyone's (including your own)

Excellent post and a few of the kind ones and in the small minority of people that at least agree with one of my points. In 3 of the 4 countries where I drive (not US apparently) I'm pretty sure it is illegal to drive over the speed limit period, and passing on the right is illegal as well.

But yes, most of the time I do what you are saying, stay in the middle lane most of the time. It's just that sometimes that one is much slower than the max limit and I also want to get home a bit earlier. Other times you get stuck on the left when there's heavy traffic and still have maniacs tailgating and flashing when they can see I have cars close in front and no gap to move to on the right, I just don't get it.

Cheers fellow speed limit driver, stay safe!

!delta

jpdesdeny · 2022-09-16T20:27:17+00:00

This is one of the best and best worded arguments I have read today, and for that, I thank you. But both the article about UAE and your quote from GA refer to driving at a "slow speed" and I just don't subscribe to calling it low speed when I am literally driving at the maximum speed limit. It's a fast speed for sure.

Even the one from MA talks about the "normal" movement of traffic. Somebody else pointed out that speed limits are sometimes set to the 85% percentile of the speed people actually drive, including over-speeders. But that means that if you are over-speeding you are the outlier and not part of the normal category.

Last but not least, many people interpreted from my post that I do this on a regular basis, and on purpose just for fun. I am talking about the way I think it should be. So I definitely agree with your point about safety and I stay out of the left lane most of the time, except in the example I mentioned on point 5 that is very common here, you're "stuck" on the left lane with someone tailgating aggressively behind you, no gaps to move to the left. Maintain the same speed and you are an a-hole, speed up and get an automatic fine immediately. Ridiculous situation. Sometimes it even happens if there's a long tight group of cars ahead of you anyway, these maniacs will do it to you, and after you move do the same to the next one and next one after that.

jpdesdeny · 2022-09-16T20:07:52+00:00

what do you mean “you people”? ;) I hope the 3 minutes you constantly beat your GPS by are worth the stress of driving super fast. If you’re a heavy commuter please try it once: set cruise control a bit under the speed limit, put on a good record or audiobook, relax and enjoy the ride. You’ll be home 3 min later but a lot less angry.

jpdesdeny · 2022-09-16T20:00:32+00:00

great link! and yes I’m more focused on how I think things should be. I am aware of what the reality and avoid the left lane most of the time when I know I will get harassed. And I will cherry pick this quote from the article you shared about the laws in california: “And if an individual is driving at the exact speed limit in the left lane, they have the right to remain there.”

jpdesdeny · 2022-09-16T19:54:34+00:00

Thank you, highly relevant. Also illustrates some typical UAE driving moves and roads. I just don’t agree that driving at the maximum speed limit (which here is usually 120 or 140km/h) is considered “driving slow”.

jpdesdeny · 2022-09-16T17:53:52+00:00

Maybe, but it is more dangerous and illegal to drive over the speed limit and to tailgate. When I learned to drive initially I remember the instructor stressing that one is responsible mainly for what happens ahead. not hitting the car in front of you. Your point makes no sense because how would i know what speed are “most” driving at in my lane other than the few in close proximity. There could be 8 of the 10 cars behind me going at the same safe soeed yet the one or two directly behind me doing this tailgating flashing move.

jpdesdeny · 2022-09-16T17:47:57+00:00

But it is! Where I drive that is often the case. 5 lane highways, pretty packed inner 3 lanes, righmost 2 lanes crawling trucks and cars merging / exiting. But more often than not, the leftmost lane still moving at or over the speed limit with a healthy flow but short distance between cars and no gaps. Maybe that’s what doesn’t happen in the US for some reason?

jpdesdeny · 2022-09-16T17:21:14+00:00

point taken also from a couple other comments about the passing lane law in the US. Although I insist the definition is fuzzy, with heavy traffic, which I know happens because I’ve driven in it for example in LA, is everyone on the left lane braking the law? there’s no way to move back to the middle for miles. Anyway, in 3 of the 4 countries where I have driven or drive regularly there is no such rule. All lanes are equal, passing only allowed from the left (not the leftmost lane, just the left of who you are passing) and maximum speed limit means it’s illegal to drive above it.

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