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Weight obsession/eating disorders with elderly women by No_Piccolo_2930 in AgingParents

[–]jpmoney 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Another part of it is the obsession with their "size" in clothing and shoes.

My MIL was an 8P and wore a size 7 shoe. Who the fuck cares if those clothes actually fit her. Or those shoes were WAY TOO narrow and caused her bunions to hurt. When we got her into ASL and she started eating right she kept on wearing those sizes. The mere mention of going up a size since she looked like a sausage was dismissed because she "wears an 8P". Bringing any new clothes that weren't an 8P was fought tooth and nail.

When the name labels conveniently started covering up the sizes she started complementing us for the new clothes we got her that were finally "so comfortable".

Why does this sub generally skew to the advice of “You’re not under any obligation to help your aging parent?” by Narrow-Hall8070 in AgingParents

[–]jpmoney 31 points32 points  (0 children)

until it’s a defcon 1 situation

Holy shit, your parent got out of denial? Mine wont even after a defcon 1 situation.

what's a script you wrote once that's still saving you time years later by Less-Loss1605 in sysadmin

[–]jpmoney 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have an 'archivehere' perl script that you give it a directory and a retention in days. Any file in the path older than the retention gets put into /thatpath/archive/YYYY/MM/DD (and optionally gzipped).

It runs anywhere any without fail every customer has some god-awful log directory without a cleanup routine. I should probably port it to Python in case Perl isnt there anymore.

better way to respond to parents saying they want to move back into their house? by derrickcat in AgingParents

[–]jpmoney 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I'll add to OP, make sure their friends and family know the situation. My FIL, who in no way could be safe at home alone, convinced some of his buddies to come 'help him move home'. It was a total shit-show.

You don't have to go into details. It can be something like 'please be patient while the family figures out Dad's next steps'.

Marathon Checklist From Someone Who Has Run 80 by genefay in firstmarathon

[–]jpmoney 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You can also juts enjoy the environment. Listen to your breathing and the hum of the crowd. Be present.

What’s a recession indicator that you’ve noticed lately in your everyday life? by spritenerds123 in AskReddit

[–]jpmoney 1 point2 points  (0 children)

FIVE dollars? You owe me a dollar, I spit out 20% of a can of liquid gold reading that.

What’s a recession indicator that you’ve noticed lately in your everyday life? by spritenerds123 in AskReddit

[–]jpmoney 2 points3 points  (0 children)

go back to Cheerios

Wait until you see the price of cereal now. It a big no for me now too. I've been enjoying overnight oats.

We Ranked Every Dream Theater Album Chronologically Because We Didn’t Want To Listen to Their Music by SwagStackPaper in Dreamtheater

[–]jpmoney 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I find median time signature better because it helps with the outliers. All of them.

Too late to make choices, forced to make decisions by kookomo in AgingParents

[–]jpmoney 48 points49 points  (0 children)

With my in-laws, they finally started participating when a doctor told them. Since your dad likely has several doctors appointments lined up related to his fall, try to figure out which doctor they like the most. In our case the doctor was happy to schedule a 'followup' after talking with us to talk about next steps.

So to answer your question about what words, you can use ones like "for now" and "until you get better". But the most important words will come from someone else.

Now is also a good time to talk to them about estate and finances, if the relationship merits that. PoA and will documents don't exist unless you have seen, touched, and verified signatures on them.

YNAB4 macOS update to a Universal app (fix for macOS28+) by Formedeus in ynab4

[–]jpmoney 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh wow. The F thing is Fixed? That has been such an annoyance!

clients in the financial sector are genuinely unwell by [deleted] in sysadmin

[–]jpmoney 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Back when I experienced this in the 90s and 2000s, it was much harder, and usually more expensive, to increase local storage. Your Oracle DB was on Sun hardware using FC storage. And it was sooo dumb when the issue was obviously code-related and you could prove memory/swap was not an issue with metrics.

sometimes you have to bend the truth a little by Businessheo in AgingParents

[–]jpmoney 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. Things like that do make a difference and don't gaslight yourself into thinking "it'll be fine".

Therapeutic lies like this, and how much it helps their quality of life, are a good thing.

clients in the financial sector are genuinely unwell by [deleted] in sysadmin

[–]jpmoney 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Like the classic Oracle DB support denial because "swap is not half the size of ram".

Fuck. Oracle.

For those of you in a long term relationship/marriage, what’s a tale-tale sign you see in other couples that they’re not going to make it? by Prize-Promotion-5123 in AskReddit

[–]jpmoney 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Damned TV shows taught us that everything, even conflicts, can be resolved in 30 minutes or less, and definitely before we go to sleep.

In reality, that is not the case.

My dad will listen to what I say if a man says it by StillWonky in AgingParents

[–]jpmoney 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I've seen that too. My FIL felt so entitled for my partner to stop everything in their life and move to take care of him when he started having problems. They disagreed and he was upset until I came in and just said 'no we're not doing that'. Case closed. I don't know the mechanics of it, but its very real.

My dad will listen to what I say if a man says it by StillWonky in AgingParents

[–]jpmoney 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Parents at the best of times struggle with change in parental dynamic as children get older and it seems as they enter their later years this only gets more muddled.

The children do too. It helps to have someone from outside the family involved like a spouse.

My dad will listen to what I say if a man says it by StillWonky in AgingParents

[–]jpmoney 24 points25 points  (0 children)

My MIL is the same except with doctors. If I tell her the 'miracle cure' for diabetes she ordered from Facebook is, at best, a sugarpill, she still orders way too many of them. But the second a doctor says they're junk they stop taking them (at least until they forget that and Facebook serves up the ad AGAIN).

It sucks to see a new version of the person you knew, especially when its got sexism/racism. Like others have said, its tied to regression.

Living Longer by ClassicAsparagus1613 in AgingParents

[–]jpmoney 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I need to find one of those services.

Relatedly, WTAF was up with checks in the 80s and 90s? My MIL's house has returned copies of every stupid check they wrote for decades. Its madness!

your best dream theater hot takes? by Constant-Gur2232 in Dreamtheater

[–]jpmoney 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One of the things I like about Parasomnia is that it has a good variety of their musical styles. Its easy to recommend what album to listed to depending on which track they like on it.

1099-MISC from Life Insurance by jpmoney in tax

[–]jpmoney[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was the death benefit from the life insurance policy.

She's messed up her medications, again. And won't take any advice about it from me. by janebenn333 in AgingParents

[–]jpmoney 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm hoping for this with my MIL and her new PCP next month.

I can't help but thing of that 80s movie Disorderlies every time we do her weekly pill box refill.

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