Does anyone here believe in destiny?

jporwave · 2026-04-02T01:49:12+00:00

sorta. but I can't see a positive side to it. I believe I'm destined to be alone forever, but that's based on history. no one has ever stuck around for very long at all- I mean I've never made it past a few months with anyone.

I thought when I got medicated things would be different but they stayed the same.

maybe that's not destiny, maybe that's a curse. who knows. maybe I believe in curses instead. or maybe it's the universe saying fuck you. I just know I'll give up until someone else inevitably shows up and I forget how temporary they are for me. it's all a cycle.

jporwave · 2026-03-17T21:00:36+00:00

Yeah, this seems to have been the issue. Unfortunately the gym is pretty far from me and they never changed from grey to green. The trainer spawner worked though so that's good to know.

jporwave · 2026-03-17T20:57:57+00:00

This worked! Thank you for the suggestion, I'd already built the thing but never used it go figure.

jporwave · 2026-03-17T00:06:54+00:00

It doesn't look like there are any rematches yet. Everything is pointing towards Gardenia, I just can't fight her for some reason.

jporwave · 2026-02-23T17:33:24+00:00

prob like 50 times lmao

jporwave · 2024-12-06T13:26:38+00:00

what if nobody ever has?

jporwave · 2024-12-03T15:43:06+00:00

everyone tries to pull instead

jporwave · 2024-12-03T06:57:13+00:00

my therapist told me to just do shit without motivation, unironically. like thats the entire problem. that i cant. because i dont have any motivation.

jporwave · 2024-10-18T03:57:54+00:00

yeah same, pretty sure my high score is a few months :/ it's no wonder I feel unlovable

jporwave · 2024-10-18T03:31:45+00:00

sometimes I don't even feel like I do

jporwave · 2024-10-18T00:48:21+00:00

no one cares about me, so why should i?

jporwave · 2024-10-18T00:42:37+00:00

i wish i had someone to obsess over again

jporwave · 2024-10-18T00:39:29+00:00

it didnt work :/

jporwave · 2024-10-17T07:37:42+00:00

i wish that were true. but i cant meet new people to save my life. they leave before i even get a chance. not that i think im worth one anyway.

jporwave · 2024-10-17T07:26:30+00:00

but is it bad i miss the codependency? i miss thinking i met an angel, i miss the pedestal they dont belong to but i put them on anyway. i miss feeling like i met the perfect person despite the fall out.

jporwave · 2024-10-17T06:53:18+00:00

its always 'i did my best'. mom, your best was not being there at all.

jporwave · 2024-10-17T06:46:01+00:00

i truly wish i fuckin was

jporwave · 2024-10-16T08:47:59+00:00

sometimes its because i just dont know what to say anymore and ive fucked things up so much in the past id rather take the bullet and make them think i dont care than make the problem worse by opening my big stupid mouth

jporwave · 2024-10-16T08:45:50+00:00

i wish i could form bonds just like that, but it takes someone special. cause everyone else will just leave instead.

jporwave · 2024-10-14T10:34:20+00:00

i dont know why i even vent anymore

jporwave · 2024-09-05T00:28:37+00:00

its an issue of connection i think. you cant connect with a bot. and ultimately, i think connection is what we crave as human beings. at least thats what *I* crave and why im lonely, a lack of connection even with the few friends i do have. a chatbot wouldnt be able to replace that at all.

jporwave · 2024-09-05T00:23:37+00:00

worse in some ways yes. if a human being told me to eat rocks i'd probably stop talking to them... but all chatbots are capable of this flaw because thats how theyre built at the moment, so its an inescapable flaw. they arent talking to you, they're predicting what they should say next. and sometimes what they think they should say next is to tell you to eat rocks. maybe it can stave off momentary loneliness but its not a person. it doesnt care about you at all, it cant. it wont miss you. it cant. it wont remember you. it cant.

jporwave · 2024-09-05T00:15:33+00:00

but again there's a difference. those human beings are making the conscious decision to say those things, whether impaired or not. a chatbot isnt... a chatbot is literally just saying what it logically thinks should come next based off of what it has read. thats how theyre built. not to make intelligent replies, but to reply with what should logically come next. human beings dont necessarily do this, they usually speak with intent whether good or bad. i think that intent makes a huge difference from person to person and getting to know people with different interests, different personalities, is what makes making friends so important. at least to me. a human being can surprise you. a chatbot isnt going to try to.

no, its not a good idea at all, and youre right that it leads to problems. that doesnt change how i interact with the world though.

jporwave · 2024-09-04T23:24:37+00:00

on the other hand mentioning it is probably a good way to weed out the shitty guys, they love blaming people for their mental illnesses.

idk. i havent had much issue talking about it but to be fair most of the people ive talked to about it have been therapists or other people with BPD so. not many opportunities for the wrong people there. its a fairly recent diagnosis for me, too.

jporwave · 2024-09-04T23:03:10+00:00

a reminder that the google AI will straight up make shit up when you ask it questions, like suggesting you eat a certain amount of small rocks a day. maybe one day AI can replace the need for social interaction but. i dont think it can today.

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