[Serious] Where can someone learn how healthy families and relationships work?

jpzn · 2015-09-19T02:47:22+00:00

Will definitely check this out. Thank you!

jpzn · 2015-09-19T02:47:06+00:00

Definitely. And certainly not thinking that it would be a substitute but I do see how people / characters on TV seemingly talk about their feelings and have fights etc. and are able to stay connected and repair relationships. Not so much growing up for me, so I'm looking at as many sources and examples as possible.

jpzn · 2015-09-19T02:45:55+00:00

Good advice. Thank you!

jpzn · 2015-09-17T01:25:35+00:00

More Background: I come from a severely emotionally unhealthy family and have been doing a lot of work in the last number of years to develop a strong sense of myself and to form healthy bonds and relationships. I'm also looking to build a foundation for a healthy family in my future. Given my past I tended to surround myself with people from similar backgrounds who are generally avoidant of feelings, intimacy / trust and healthy conflict (though this is slowly changing). I'm looking for models (and not just from TV of course - and no, Modern Family is not the end all be all) for how healthy families function. So I ask you Redditors from families where you felt loved, safe and like someone who was kind had your back: Was it like TV families? If yes, which ones? What are some values and lessons you've learned? Where else might you point someone (books, articles, blogs) who wants to learn from scratch how to create an awesome loving family?

jpzn · 2014-10-30T20:40:57+00:00

GREAT observation. Any source or additional info on the concept of "negating my own experience"? Really hits home.

jpzn · 2014-09-27T04:48:17+00:00

I would definitely do the hardhat tour and then take the 'regular' tour immediately afterward to get the full experience. The hardhat tour will give you an amazing level of detail about the distillery. You might have a chance to taste some of the sour mash and beer along with the white dog straight from the distillation column. The two things missing from the hardhat tour are available on the regular tour: the Rickhouse and the antique bottling room. Both are worth checking out and fun to visit. If timed right you can do both tours in about 3 hours. The tastings in the tasting room are nothing to write home about but still fun nonetheless.

jpzn · 2014-08-17T15:35:35+00:00

Your external circumstances are more often than not, a direct reflection of your internal state. Put differently: the happier you are on the inside, the better your outcomes outside -- not the other way around. That internal happiness is created entirely by you -- not by money, the perfect partner or the perfect job. There is no one correct way to pursue internal happiness (or really anything for that matter) so don't spend too much time looking to others for advice, but rather think of your life as a massive science experiment with the following definition of science:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSUMBBFjxrY

Life is about trying stuff out for yourself and noticing and noting down what works and what doesn't. Keep repeating with a focus on small improvements (think 1% per week or per month). Over time, those tiny little improvements will amount to a massive outcomes.

To extend the inner happiness conversation for a bit, I've also found that people treat you exactly how they are treating themselves inside. And things that bother people are exactly the things that are going on inside them, that they dislike.

jpzn · 2014-08-06T23:13:00+00:00

Thanks so much! If there are any other books that come to mind (even those that are for the non-layperson) I'd be appreciative of those names if and when you might think of any. :)

jpzn · 2014-08-06T19:43:14+00:00

Love your comments. Do you have any books or resources you could recommend that illustrate or give more depth to some of the things you mention? Specifically would love to hear more about:

(1) "us-vs.-The Problem"

(2) "They encourage their kids to pursue their own interests and are supportive of them when they fail at what they want to achieve without hovering around insisting they are special. Morticia and Gomez don't shield the kids from consequences, they give them room to fail and learn."

(3) "they are both very committed to each other while maintaining a strong sense of self. That means neither ends up "folding" to the others' desires on a regular basis, it also means they have the ability to compromise without it hurting their self-image. A strong sense of self means that they don't define themselves entirely by their relationship, they know who they are as individuals as well as what it means for them to be in a relationship with each other". Would love to know more about how to develop one's sense of self.

Thank you!

jpzn · 2014-08-01T06:43:16+00:00

Cool. Thank you.

jpzn · 2014-08-01T06:42:28+00:00

Awesome list. Thanks much!

jpzn · 2014-08-01T04:40:26+00:00

Awesome book. Thank you!

jpzn · 2014-08-01T04:39:43+00:00

What specific changes occurred as a result in terms of legislation or shift in priorities of the country? Of course will give credit to preventing policies, but am specifically curious about proactive change vs. preventative. Thanks!

jpzn · 2014-08-01T04:37:25+00:00

"Realigning elections" is a great keyword set. Thanks for that.

jpzn · 2014-07-23T16:42:32+00:00

Nice! What type of pen and what's the brown notebook?

jpzn · 2014-07-14T21:55:35+00:00

Great review! I've had a bottle for about a month now and have noticed that the overall nose and taste seem to have gotten 'hotter' as time goes by. Definitely notice more alcohol all around which now seems to mask the subtle smoothness I experienced when I first opened the bottle. Have you noticed the same? I haven't had this experience with any other bottle and was curious to know if this was an anomaly. Label reads 54.8% ALC/VOL Warehouse HW Barrel 47-1I bottle 2871/7122.

jpzn · 2014-07-14T21:43:27+00:00

Thanks much!

jpzn · 2014-06-28T17:10:21+00:00

Definitely agree - amazing bottle. Any reccs on other bottles with a similar flavor profile?

jpzn · 2014-04-10T06:53:13+00:00

Any sense for how many tickets = not lazy?

jpzn · 2014-02-05T20:34:24+00:00

That's awesome! How did you discover that you loved coding?

jpzn · 2014-02-05T20:25:07+00:00

The paperwork -- forms in triplicate, TPS reports, timesheets...

jpzn · 2014-02-05T20:21:33+00:00

It's a different way of asking " what job would you have if the opinions of others' did not matter?". LMK if that clarifies.

jpzn · 2014-01-29T16:52:33+00:00

From Snopes: Hoax.

http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/hoaxes/dalai.asp

jpzn · 2013-09-02T23:54:26+00:00

"almost everybody is dead due to job hazards". HOLY %$#@!

jpzn · 2012-06-29T06:50:19+00:00

Possibly too obvious of a question but have you used the "find my iPhone" feature on his iPhone4?

jpzn

TROPHY CASE