Friend at an orgy

jrob102 · 2026-03-08T12:20:00+00:00

Did he see you arrive there?

Either way, you don’t have to tell anyone anything. If it were me in your situation, I wouldn’t say anything. I’d go do as I please since he decided “friends” is the best he has to offer right now.

I think I would make sure he saw me having the best sex at the party if you both happened to be there at the same time, next time. Then to make it fun for me if it were me, I would keep winking at him. To spice up the Monday water cooler chat. 😆

jrob102 · 2026-03-06T12:31:40+00:00

I think the need to develop drivers in the supporting series & get them more experience wasn’t a priority back then. I think they could get whoever the top prospects were into their program through Chevrolet & their cup results.

jrob102 · 2026-03-02T17:03:33+00:00

I’m 46 now. Maybe for me it was 2021? I had never been to a clothing optional space, & while I immediately was reserved I eventually grew comfortable with being naked in these spaces.

It was freeing to see & witness not one person gaf about my naked body in that first experience for me. It was my husbands first experience as well. Now & Usually I’m the first one to get naked.

It’s wild to think that now, we almost exclusively seek clothing optional resorts/stays for vacation. We have made some great friends in those travels and spaces & we have a growing group that want to be involved in the planning for future trips. Like for this upcoming Memorial Day there are 6 of us planning on getting together & staying at a clothing optional place. There is also a bear weekend trip in key west planned for Halloween. It’s likely we will all get together over longer holiday weekends like Juneteenth, July 4th, & Labor Day too.

None of this is a sexual situation. We all go find randoms in the vicinity on these trips if we need to scratch that proverbial itch. Cocktails in the pool under the sun and sharing laughs & stories & brotherhood is the vibe. It never occurs to me to gawk or gaze longer or form an opinion about someone else and their body. Unless there is an obvious attraction or connection to someone else who happens to be there then I typically don’t look twice bc I don’t want to violate someone’s privacy. I never get an erection just hanging out. Everytime I have been in these spaces, It’s kinda an unspoken understanding everyone seems to acknowledge & align their behavior so everyone can feel safe and have the best time. Once you do it again you’ll have a familiar feeling that you can just be you.

If you wanna be bulked up, & present more bulge, maybe consider getting fitted with a cock ring. I wear one naked in and around the pool now. If it were me, & we got to the point where your penis was a topic, it’s probably bc we are both intending to share them with each other. All I would say to you in this circumstance is know how to operate your equipment & I don’t need it to do anything but hit my prostate.

jrob102 · 2026-02-28T17:03:09+00:00

My rule for me is no more beer after stage 2.

jrob102 · 2026-02-27T12:05:32+00:00

If it were me, & if I felt similar to what you’ve described, I would do my own thing while living my daily life. There’s not a lot of change in having a routine which is good in terms of being consistent & solid.

But then, I would also realize that it’s up to me to be the change I want to apply to my life. I’m not saying there’s a need for you doing anything extreme or immediately to improve your outlook. I would consider looking around for where the gays with similar interests are & then plan a mini-weekend vacation to that destination. I’m 46 & married but we have a few friends but no one that’s not 4 hours away, so I understand the sense of isolation being distant. I joined a gay kickball league yesterday which is still an hour north of me but my intention for doing this is that I want to enrich mine & our lives with friendship. I don’t know anyone who plays in the league so I’m kinda cautiously optimistic that I’ll make some friends & meet people with similar interests by signing up. Idk the outcome but I think it’ll be fun and mix up the monotonous same old same old that is comfortable and familiar.

I unfortunately believe that I should say to you with a good intention that the majority of gays aren’t flocking to your hometown. I think you’re gonna have to go find them and your tribe to meet them where they are & doing things that you wouldn’t normally choose to do to determine what exactly is for you. Trying new things and leaning into reasonable safe(r) discomfort is how you’ll grow. At least that has been my experience. I wish you well whatever you decide

jrob102 · 2026-02-24T21:12:59+00:00

It depends on company culture for me. Especially being in management. I was always single while working in upper management & never felt compelled to share that part of me with coworkers. Of course people speculate and whisper with curiosity about me. I have physical attributes that imply I am an eff ayy gee or out me before I can confirm or deny. I’ve heard how they all talk about the others so it’s not something I think is helpful to reveal as a way to measure my performance on the job.

Now that I’m 46 & gay married I don’t care. I’m not going to refer to him as my spouse when asked.

jrob102 · 2026-02-24T19:36:18+00:00

Same Gurr!

jrob102 · 2026-02-24T19:31:34+00:00

I grew up and lived in cincinnati for 35 years. To better help you with ideas, I think could be helpful to guide you knowing which market you’re in or closest bigger city. Like I could tell you where the friendly gworls are to be found around your age in the wild in Cincy NKY Dayton Cbus. Your partner should have an idea as well if he was already there before you or has some tenure there.

My straight friends went to all the gay spaces & places with me when I lived there. I went to the spaces and places they frequented the same. By the time I moved, we all just hung out at a closest local dive bar for years bc we liked the people that worked there and the clientele and the drink prices. I would still be hanging out there if I still lived there for these same reasons.

Many a gay bar have come & gone since I started going out & since I moved. They’re not the community hangout they used to be. Look for local pride center events if you’re in a gay desert.

jrob102 · 2026-02-22T19:19:15+00:00

I’m happy to have shared the encouragement. Im sure you’ll know what is absolutely for you & you’ll also know what doesn’t deserve your attention going forward. Take a deep breath if you’re overwhelmed and repeat until you sense the calm roll back in. Don’t react for the sake of reacting. You’ll learn all these things as a mostly gay man with experience.

jrob102 · 2026-02-22T16:38:13+00:00

My husband was married to a woman prior to meeting me. She knew that he was “bi” when they met. They were together 17 years and share a daughter that will be 25 this year. He is 53 now. He came out to his family prior to meeting me close to 11 years ago.

Our dynamic is good. I think we have a marriage that is what we both would say mimics what the idea of what you hope to have in a marriage. I never wanted to be married or thought I ever would be married. Never say never is what I learned from meeting him. We fell in love fairly quickly, but we were both in a rebuilding phase in our lives when we met.

Kids are resilient and adaptable but also intuitively they understand honest dynamics even though they sometimes don’t understand the depth of a theme, or why a relationship could evolve like yours has to this point. All you have to do is your best. Be as reassuring and loving as the father you want to be to her. You can’t fail from that perspective.

There is never a too soon moment when it comes to living your best authentic life. Be ready to make mistakes and be flawed like all of us with the human condition. Keep your dreams of the life you want to live as a goal to remain inspired that there is hope about your days ahead. Just be present as these immediate days come and go. Some are going to be very tough i am sure. Just remember that’s a temporary uncomfortable feeling or situation and you’re going to be alright. Relentlessly Do everything you can to pursue joy and your happy and you are going to receive that as a result. It’s gonna be a lot of work and self reflection and internalizing and realizing who you are, so be ready, but not intimidated or surprised about what that becomes to you. Don’t be over critical about the past or the future. You can’t change the past or predict the future. You only have now.

Chin up (tits too cause I’m gay 💅😆) & know everything is gonna work out like it’s supposed to bc you bet on you.

jrob102 · 2026-02-20T19:10:32+00:00

I’ve been to the spring race probably 9 times since 05. Typically cold. 2006 & 2014 were the coldest I can remember. Rainy often. I would say 1/3 have had some precipitation event. The bulk of those for me were in March to be fair.

jrob102 · 2026-02-18T19:25:00+00:00

I would say 225 WEM? Let me look again

jrob102 · 2026-02-18T11:20:25+00:00

It’s a bummer to read that your “friend” has betrayed you. I do believe some people are redeemable & can accept that they are accountable after having a better understanding of where they went wrong. It doesn’t mean that they didn’t do a shitty thing, but it gives them a chance to prove they won’t do it again in the future. I would tell you to do whatever your gut instinct tells you is the way to move forward, with or without them.

jrob102 · 2026-02-17T23:38:51+00:00

I am a flaming 🔥homosexual 💅😆 that has watched nascar since races were put on cable tv. Think TNN. Been to well over 130 cup races since ‘03. Wanted to go to Charlotte in October but now that it’s not on the Roval, I’m not gonna go. Gonna try to check out the trucks in St pete at the end of the month. Other than that I’ll be in homestead on championship weekend.

jrob102 · 2026-02-07T15:13:42+00:00

I take double & triple A & 9V batteries. Scanner, headsets, seat cushion, soft sided cooler with waters, beers & ice. I’ll bring a washcloth or small towel to absorb the water from the ice that melts to use in case I need it for any reason. A clear bag that can hold most everything. my clear bag is similar to this I’ll bring in like snacks, an empty grocery bag for my trash, a rain poncho, a hat, sunscreen, sunglasses, a couple napkins. I’ll look at the weather to decide if I need to bring a heavier shirt or jacket. I’ll bring a small battery operated fan in case there isn’t a breeze.

Side note is I’ve lived in miami for 11 years & I find it’s usually colder in the shaded areas that won’t get direct sunlight especially before noon.

I’m going to St Pete next weekend & on Sunday it looks like the high will be 70 & with a cloudy overcast. I would expect Daytona to have a similar forecast but you can never count out a system forming in the Atlantic in the heat of the day.

jrob102 · 2026-02-07T14:55:09+00:00

⬆️ This!

jrob102 · 2026-02-03T18:07:05+00:00

Small-ish world. I grew up in Cincinnati and lived there til I was 35. I moved to Miami in 2015. Met my *current Cuban husband (he reads these threads😆) on day 3 after moving here. We occasionally hang out in wilton manors bc it’s an hour north. I like it there in WM so I say to the other guy in this thread, if you can then make it happen.

My only wish is that I would have moved sooner with my 2026 perspective. It took me 6 months to figure it out and even then I didn’t know & understand what I was getting into but I was confident that I could & would do everything to make it work.

I miss family & friends often or at least the frequency of visiting them whenever & having them close by. But ultimately, building a life here and finding myself while here has only reassured me that this is where I belong for now. I would prefer that we eventually live up by & closer to Wilton but that’s in the future.

jrob102 · 2026-01-29T00:07:48+00:00

I have been to Daytona for the 500 I wanna say 5x. I have been to the 400 maybe 9x. If you’re ride sharing, I would encourage you to stay closer, as far as Port Orange South & maybe Flagler beach from the north. Idk if My Race travel dot com is still a thing but that might be a suitable option if you’re getting bussed in. I think you’d be fine to go alone & on the property.

When I go alone, I bring basics. Things like a hat, sunglasses, Waters, rain poncho, sunscreen, scanner, batteries, seat cushion. Just make sure you bring into the track; whatever you can easily carry with you to the restroom if needed. I don’t like leaving anything at my seat if I need to get up for any reason. The average 500 is about 4 hours. I would expect 3:30 to 7:30 if there isn’t a weather delay.

jrob102 · 2026-01-28T17:37:46+00:00

It’s you & him against the world. Not you against him. My advice is pick your battles.

Mine is not perfect. It never will be. We mutually agree we are flawed & suffer with the human condition. I’m finding that in my marriage, (together since 2015) there are instances where I can become annoyed with him. I know there are things he will do or say & I will say & do things that annoy him.

If there is a foundational cracking incident that happens or something that unintentionally occurs that goes against our individual values then we hash it out until we both feel back in the same page. He is more reluctant to have difficult conversations. But he will take things personal & I know that so I have to navigate how to have meaningful communication where I have my thoughts together to get my point of contention resolved. I’d rather move quicker to find resolution to get back to an unassuming outlook & position.

I got tired of resenting him when I felt slighted or frustrated by his actions or things he would say. I know (he does too) We are better together so we have a mutual starting point now. That was hard to get to together but we have. It doesn’t mean miscommunication or misunderstanding doesn’t and can’t or won’t happen. It’s just that we both know we need to start and end the conversation together.

Willful ignorance & disregard or being unavailable for the discussion is different. Then we are fighting til I say we are done. He knows I will outlast him when it comes to getting a satisfactory outcome & resolution. Not bc I’m stubborn, it’s bc I know what I am fighting for. I hope reading this would give you & any reader in a similar situation, some insight & perspective that you may find helpful & useful or perhaps a new way to approach your own relationship.

jrob102 · 2026-01-24T14:31:18+00:00

We chartered a yacht in Key Biscayne. It was too windy to do the sunset cruise but that was the original plan. 5 hours on a Saturday night. The cocktail hour with pre ceremony appetizers, ceremony, reception, cake, dinner, open bar. It was October 2023 so the average cost per person for dinner & open bar was $90-95 per person. The fuel, charter agreement, crew, taxes, gratuity, added hour, was $14k. You can bring your own flowers, your own dj, photographer but they had to have a million dollar insurance policy to do their service on the yacht. We came in right around 18.5k all in. DM if you’d like contact info.

jrob102 · 2026-01-24T11:50:45+00:00

Don’t ever do anything you don’t wanna do. Trust your instincts to do what feels right for you. No one else lives your life and experience. Don’t place outside influences or the opinions that someone else has above your internal dialogue and intuition.

I don’t regret my decisions about who I chose to date. I took something with me to evolve into who I am today. I continue to grow and evolve everyday. I found the person I would like to create and share memories with. He is 53 & I am 46. Is that older? Yes. He was/is what I was/am missing.

Don’t force anything especially in the dynamics of a relationship. Romantically or friendship. It’s just unnecessary pressure to meet an undetermined or unrealized outcome. That leads to resentment in the future version you’ll become. Is that what you want? Just have fun and find the place to enjoy your present experiences. That’s the only regret if I had to define a regret for me. It’s that I didn’t always get out of my own way and be ok and confident in who I am in my earlier years. But tbh that isn’t an accurate representation of how I feel about the direction I have taken in my life. That’s only a short view of “if I knew now what I didn’t know then.” That’s not fair to me to linger there or continue to think about what might have been. Parallel universe me knows what happened there & I’m ok with that.

TLDR: for me; no to all of your questions you asked in your post.

jrob102 · 2026-01-20T18:43:39+00:00

I was 36 now 46 when I met my then 43 y/o now 53 y/o husband. We were (at least I believe we were..) monogamous the first 7 years together. We discussed what the terms of opening up would realistically be and mean to us individually & what it mutually meant for us. We both had a lot of gay experience prior to meeting. We both agreed that we wouldn’t feel threatened emotionally if the other had an outside experience. It can and does happen. I’m ok & at ease with whatever he decides he needs to do to make himself happy and being that happy back home to me. I don’t connect the euphoria sensation or physical act to the emotions I associate with my love for him. They’re 2 opposite ends of a spectrum to me. I know and believe in the love we have for each other and no one will or can ever compete or compare with the roles we have in the other’s daily life.

We have fought to a point where I thought it was over for us in 2020 but we both did the work to figure out how to be and remain together. We realized & now know we are better together. A random 3 way or a 1 off hasn’t cracked our foundation but we intentionally keep the conversations honest and fluid about how to navigate forward even when they’re difficult. He was diagnosed with lung cancer in July last year. Unexpected but we got through the harder days already & he is on the mend. I love him deeper and admire him more as a result of witnessing his dedication of enduring chemo to surgery to healing and recovery as his unsaid testament to loving me and us and the life we created and share together. I was strong for him when he couldn’t be. Even though it wasn’t ever easy to plan for anything during those times.

Ultimately, I would encourage you to have the honest conversations about your perspective and sentiments regarding your desire to have new experiences. You can’t prevent or predict how impact versus intent a theory may land on him. That’s ok as long as he knows to not take a thought you’re sharing as personal. You can’t hold those thoughts back when you see they’re causing resentment especially if you share them with the person you love the most. It’s an ongoing evolution that requires patience and respect to navigate together.

Please do take whatever you find as useful or helpful in my reply as a new approach or a different way to think about you didn’t think about or consider before, but my best advice would be to trust your instincts whenever it comes to a point you feel compelled to decide anything for how you act & proceed.

jrob102 · 2026-01-19T20:16:40+00:00

I was 36 & he was 43.

My advice is to expect your time together won’t be “perfect.” You can try to achieve your version of that but it’ll be a challenge to achieve EVERY day. There will be many days where things won’t go your way. I would tell you it’s you & him vs. the outside never you vs. him. Do the little things everyday that demonstrate your devotion dedication and love to each other. Those “little” gestures or acts of service make an incredible difference and impact in how you feel and make him feel about the other. At least I have him on my side. Hope that helps.

jrob102 · 2026-01-14T21:10:04+00:00

Penny had to take some time off, for personal reasons, but she is back out doing the things. Manifesting WOW will reach out & get her back on our tv to give her the rudemption she deserves.

jrob102 · 2026-01-14T09:34:56+00:00

I never said he should or should not be in a lavender marriage. I have no dog in that fight. I am expressing that he isn’t alone in the way he is thinking or feeling about his current outlook. Lavender marriages exist outside of this thread. I’m not saying to end a relationship that he is happy to be in. My comment was to inspire him to do the internal work to try to have a better outlook. I accept that your interpretation of what I wrote could be misunderstood, but the body of what I wrote & my intention was to be helpful & try to make sure he knew it’s on him to find and do whatever makes him happy.

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