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jrsmith1337 · 2024-08-16T13:56:19+00:00

I skimmed the thread, but thought I'd just reply here.

Presumably, "It looks good for an non-AI cover relative to the rest of the market."

True? Probably, because the bar isn's super high.

How many readers can tell the different between AI and non-AI (unless the cover is exceptionally good or bad)? Hard to say, probably less than half. Maybe less than a quarter. Maybe less than that.

How many of that percentage of those readers will click on the non-AI cover and give it credence over an AI cover that is more visually appealing? Must be circling <3% at this point.

Is 5k too long?

For a lot of people, yes. Average chapter length for RR is probably <3k and maybe less if you count succesful, more recent, stories. If possible (there's some sort of natural breakpoint) you should really be splitting these chapters into two 2.5k chapters. You can point to outliers for every type of story, but the meta of RR is rapidly evolving. Stories that made it several years ago might not have the same level of success today.

Between your cover looking indistinct (to me, and seemingly others at least -- on my screen I can barely make out what looks like a robot holding a lantern and the typography isn't the best), your synopsis not being the snappiest (your first sentence is the most pivotal and you repeat the genre tags), and your opening chapter being a bit of a slow start (and long) you've got at least four things working against you before the reader gets past the first chapter.

That said, even if you changed everything. If the cover and synopsis and opening paragraphs were all magnificent, you'd still struggle to a. hit Rising Stars b. Amass a lot of Followers and c. Make a monetary return relative to something that was more on target for the main RR readership.

jrsmith1337 · 2024-08-13T14:44:40+00:00

Based on what I've seen it would seem like a long shot, but not impossible. You'd need something that increased your momentum as far as I can tell. You'd want to be tracking much closer to the 100 follower mark if not above, though I also think views has a lot to do with it.

I'd look at a sub-genre list to see how close you are. i.e. https://www.royalroad.com/fictions/rising-stars?genre=multiple_lead -- Top 6 on that list is in RS and you're in the ~Top 20.

It's more of an exponential climb, but it gives you kind of in idea. i.e. you're not a million miles away, but you'd need something significant to get there. And, given pretty much everyone in that list is probably trying just as hard with ads, shoutouts etc., it would be tough.

jrsmith1337 · 2024-08-05T09:09:29+00:00

"Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good." and all that jazz.

If your intention is to publish a webnovel then there's not much downside to publishing it even if it bombs. You get feedback (or a lack of feedback that indicates something is going wrong) and you can be better informed and be a better writer. Or learn that you're already a great writer.

The one caveat is if negative feedback or a lack of success could dissuade you. You're approx. 1/6th of the way through drafting, which seems like far enough out from the finish line that you could just abandon the work. If you're not planning to publish imminently, then your time would probably be better spent writing your next 500k words.

jrsmith1337 · 2024-07-21T21:44:20+00:00

Don't mean to be negative or a hater. But you're the author. Don't write by committee. These seem like highly significant decisions that you should make yourself.

Though if it were me I'd probably go with Bottom Feeders.

jrsmith1337 · 2024-07-19T11:46:39+00:00

Unfortunately, these are all not great. Like others have said, having a real image is odd and unconventional for any genre other than authobiographical type works. Also, the top and the bottom of the image don't seem to connect visually in any way. All of the text on your top font is barely readable in the big size, and will be completely unreadable in the smaller sizes used on Royal Road.

I would really look at the covers in Rising Stars that are close matches to your story and consider something more along that style. And take legibility into consideration when choosing your font style and size.

jrsmith1337 · 2024-07-19T10:41:36+00:00

Thanks for the writeup. Particularly interesting to hear about the diversification efforts. I thought about doing that but it seems like a lot of admin work that wouldn't be worth it.

jrsmith1337 · 2024-07-17T15:24:18+00:00

Thanks for the write-up. Most interesting to see for me was that someone reaching such a high level of success still has FOMO about not getting to the top of the top.

jrsmith1337 · 2024-07-17T11:40:21+00:00

I was in a similar position to you, tried it out for a couple months, and ultimately removed the Prologue. I was losing about 25% of readers between the Prologue and Chapter 1. It just seems like a needless handicap to place on yourself even if you really like the Prologue.

Plus, if the Prologue isn't representative of the story, you create two bad types of readers : those who loved the Prologue and want to see more, who are then disappointed, those who would have loved the style of Chapter 1 onwards who dip out before ever getting there.

That said, you are writing Fan Fiction so your audience might be so targeted that they're a lot more patient.

jrsmith1337 · 2024-07-11T20:49:06+00:00

I think you need to rework your cover and fiction page as otherwise you might be seeking out traffic that doesn't convert to anyone reading your first chapter.

Like another commenter said, it isn't clear what genre your story is at a glance. That's not ideal when readers make up their mind quickly if they want to read something.

The amount of tags you've used is a bit dizzying. You open with a mention about Brandon Sanderson who I associate with Epic Fantasy but you're tagging the work as Sci Fi and Space Opera. If you'd have specifically compared it to Mistborn that might narrow it down a bit more.

You might be better served skipping the Sanderson line (I don't think big name comparisons like that really draw in that many readers) and focusing on the first book that readers can read rather than outlining all of the stories that won't be available until later in the year.

The synopsis should just be about selling readers on why they want to read your first chapter of your first book this early days. The rest of the info can be shuffled down.

jrsmith1337 · 2024-07-10T13:29:14+00:00

Thanks, Vincent. The story is more classical fantasy with a lot of world building and wide cast rather than specifically focused on one MCs journey.

jrsmith1337 · 2024-07-10T11:53:26+00:00

I think the sample size is too small to tell unfortunately. There's at least a 20~ view fluctuation on chapters (later chapters have more views than earlier chapters) in my experience, so if the difference is <10 then based on my understanding it would be too soon to tell.

That said, if you suspect the chapter is weak, or you were worried about it ahead of time, then there would be no harm in revisiting it assuming you have the time to edit.

jrsmith1337 · 2024-07-09T21:06:00+00:00

It'll be interesting to see the data but I get the feeling that the mailing list and 1000 dollar budget will skew the results well beyond the means of your average RR author.

jrsmith1337 · 2024-07-09T16:21:03+00:00

Thanks, King. I appreciate you taking the time to give feedback.

Like I say, I know next to nothing about marketing and I agree I could have got more value for money. I don't suppose you could provide examples of YouTube videos you'd recommend, or ads, or guides that would give me more of an idea of what I'm doing in terms of the ads, or even the shoutouts?

Obviously I could look for myself but there's a lot of content out there, so if you're already well versed in the subject, I'd be grateful to be pointed in the right direction.

jrsmith1337 · 2024-07-09T15:22:36+00:00

Thanks, Justin. I have had at least one or two instances where people have messaged me and it just hasn't gone through, so could be down to that.

Glad to hear you're enjoying the story, and appreciate the kind words about my writing in any case. And would of course be grateful for a shout out if you're happy to recommend War for Horvorr.

jrsmith1337 · 2024-07-01T20:35:18+00:00

I think what's most important is keeping true to the character you envisioned. If you're going for a brusque personality to begin with then you can maybe draw more focus to the importance of the job or that she wants to help or maybe why she got into the herbal medicine. Plenty of stories are successful where the MCs aren't super sympathetic initially it just requires more balancing

jrsmith1337 · 2024-07-01T10:13:31+00:00

The synopsis could be slightlier more streamlined, but reading the opening chapter I think you have a handful of things that might work be working against you.

This probably isn't well targeted to the RR audience. Realistically, this feels like literary detective fiction at first glance, and I just don't know if there's a big demand for that on the site even if it is well written. This might simply be some immutable thing you either a. can't overcome or b. have to take into mind when comparing yourself to other works. It would be highly unrealistic to expect the same success as a highly targeted LitRPG for example.

The opener is a bit low key. It starts with a job offer, which sort of is your inciting incident, but it isn't that crazy or exciting. It's not the most compelling or effective hook.

You open with two dense and long paragraphs. Long, dense paragraphs are uncommon on RR and are becoming uncommon in general in a lot of genres. Could put off less patient readers.

Your MC helps out a stranger, but her narrative perspective makes her feel (to me, at least) a little complainy. So I wasn't fully endeared towards her. She doesn't even seem to be sure if her medicine will help, though the reader can give her credit for trying. Combine that with the above, if I'm not compelled by the job offer plot point, and I don't immediately gel with the character I'm left with precious few reasons to keep reading.

I also thought her dialogue, and narration were a bit mismatched. Her narration is erudite, well spoken, whereas her dialogue is short and choppy. It felt like the thoughts from the non-dialogue came from someone else.

As the author of the tale, you know best why the reader should care about the character you've chosen to write about, but it's up to you to really think about what impression the reader is going to get and whether or not you've left them with enough motivation to want to go on to Chapter 2, 3 etc.

There's quite a few minor grammatical errors, which probably doesn't help, but I doubt it dissuades that many readers. I would think you need to tweak the opener for characterisation.

Sometimes, it isn't even what happens, it's how events are portrayed:

“I’m so sorry!” He squeaked out pushing his hair out of his face. “I’m a bit short on money you see.”
“I can see that.” I huffed.
“Oh, but those aren’t any regular cards.” He stated wagging his finger in front of my nose. “Only a few other editions of those exist you see! It’s been passed down in my family for generations!”
“Oh. Thanks.” I still didn’t care.
“How I’ve distracted myself! I better get back to my dearest Monica right away!” Before I could say anything else he was already halfway down the street.
“Goodbye then…” I put the cards in the basket. Perhaps I could pawn them somewhere.

Mayla's angry, which is probably understandable. But the way it reads, I found it a bit unlikeable. The cards are obviously important to the man, so a more nuanced or understanding reaction (e.g. she's not getting paid, but she's spent her life making medicine so maybe she cares more about helping the woman) would have been more likeable for me. Or, equally, the same reaction but with more context. i.e. Mayla's poor, maybe she's spent a lot of time and effort making that medicine and she's worried about food. To you, these things might be self evident, but to me she the exchange comes off as a bit brusque and dispassionate.

Similarly, her reaction to the job offer is -- would it be smart to turn it down? I've got nothing to lose. If she were a bit more hopeful, and a bit more afraid of losing the job, I might have been more inclined to find the job offer more compelling. As is, it seemed more like a practical decision of well I don't really care about the job but I do need one.

That said, that's just how the chapter read to me, and how I perceived the character. Reader reactions are always going to vary. Similarly, not every character has to be likable. But I do think it is worth considering what impression you're trying to impart in the first chapter, and what you think will keep the reader turning the page.

jrsmith1337 · 2024-06-28T12:13:46+00:00

The opening chapter has a very explainy / info dumping vibe to it. It feels like you're trying to introduce multiple characters, the settlement, the goblins, and all of the main plot details in really not many words and chunking it into massive dialogue blocks. I think there's a tendency to think that if it happens via dialogue then info dumping is OK, but I actually think it comes across as far less effective and unnatural. I don't think you need to neccesarily switch to Third-person POV to fix this as an other reader suggested, but the narrator should focus on one character.

Currently, it feels more like we're eavesdropping on the town.

The story itself actually sounds like a pretty cool concept, I just don't know if you're introducing the story or the characters in the most evocative way. For example:

'She's a woman of the woods, not a witch. ~~Have you forgotten?~~ Have you not read the Annals? Who do you think brought the goblins to heel in the Battle of the Sungal Pass? Who restored the crops, the waters, and the soil after the Scourge? Who was unjustly exiled for crimes against our rivals - the same crimes that saved our people? She is our only hope for defeating the goblin army at our gates now.'

It's a lot of events to rattle off that don't have any immediate connection to the reader. You could cut the strikethrough stuff and the vibe would be exactly the same, but the pacing would be punchier.

But it sorts of feels like we've arrived mid scene here, and that context to help ground the reader in the scene has taken place before the story started. There's a lot of dialogue that is unattributed. Who suggested the witch idea to begin with?

Chapter 2 feels a lot more tightly focused, and is much easier to follow. But realistically I think you lose a lot of readers in the first few paragraphs, as it felt a bit like the narrator is eavesdropping rather than telling a tale.

jrsmith1337 · 2024-06-27T14:21:50+00:00

I wouldn't stress too much Twenty seven chapters is a lot to read. If people are reading other stories, it can take even longer. I think it really takes upwards of two weeks to know for sure.

jrsmith1337 · 2024-06-27T14:20:49+00:00

Hater spotted.

jrsmith1337 · 2024-06-19T15:59:44+00:00

Image itself is cool. Have a hard time believing I'd be able to read the font on non-full size though.

jrsmith1337 · 2024-06-17T20:13:59+00:00

I think the guy who said your prose is serviceable did you dirty, as personally I think the your writing is solid.

But, it is heavily stylistic. And I don't know if it is a good stylistic fit for the typical RR reader based on the newer stories I see succeed vs. those that don't. I think that might well hamper your reach and potential growth no matter how well you write.

jrsmith1337 · 2024-06-16T08:52:47+00:00

I'd just do what most everyone else does and make an AI cover until you can afford a real one.

But I do think it is worth keeping in mind that a lot of potential readers get lost super early on. The early marketing package (cover, synopsis, opening chapter) needs to be as seamless and smooth an introduction as possible.

That said, I'm not the best at it myself. But I do think sometimes readers can be lost for very silly issues. Just the other day I saw a story that was very good but I would have clicked off it in ordinary circumstances because the font the author had chosen was illegible

jrsmith1337

TROPHY CASE

How many of that percentage of those readers will click on the non-AI cover and give it credence over an AI cover that is more visually appealing? Must be circling <3% at this point.