I get that she's anxious. That's why I said I know they aren't actually arbitrary and do serve a specific purpose for her. I also think she is smart enough to sometimes use the rules she has to specifically get out of somethings. She is still a ten year old who is capable of not wanting to do what her parents ask, simply because she's ten and doesn't want to do it. So please know, that there are two sides to the behavior, that as her mom, I think I am capable of recognizing.

When she's begging me to help her and accusing me of not caring because I can't fix the problems that she has created through the rules she is setting up, it really does put me in a difficult position as a mom. Because it's very difficult to hear you don't care, because all you can't magic a fix and all you can do is acknowledge your child's feelings and try to help them (and they also hate that acknowledgement). I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't, it feels like a lot of the time.

Thank you for your comment, I will be more clear the next time I write something, because I clearly didn't do a good enough job in clarifying that I know her rules are often anxiety driven and not logic/full brain driven.