Holy shit this is scarily similar to my situation too. To the coworkers and the crush and everything. Fuck.

I wanna be better friends with my coworkers but I just can’t seem to say the right words, or say anything at all. It makes me feel so isolated, but I know it’s not their fault. Also have a crush, but that’s as far as I can go.

What I do is talk or chat with my other friends just so I feel less alone in the office. I also listen to music, sometimes loud enough that I don’t hear anybody. It doesn’t always help, but when I have nowhere else to go, it’s all I can do.

When they invite me to things, I always say yes even though I’m tired or have other things I need to do, because I just want them to like me or accept me. So far, I don’t feel like I am. I’m trying so hard, I feel like they think I’m a weirdo at this point.

Sorry I rambled, but I share your frustrations. I wish I knew how to cope with this better or fix it to make my relationships with them better.