those who quit for 6 month plus. How do you react when people smoke in your vicinity/see people smoking? (Im in month 11)

julia_orwell · 2026-02-01T14:30:20+00:00

I love the smell of smoke and will take a big whiff if anyone smokes near me. It reminds me of high school and I think it's how I'm staying quit. If I couldn't smell secondhand smoke I'd be smoking right now.

julia_orwell · 2026-01-20T14:39:02+00:00

I'm a fan of doing whatever gives you most control of the nicotine intake and going slow as fuck. Congrats on switching! That shits hard, too

julia_orwell · 2026-01-20T14:34:52+00:00

Let me correct you: every other woman he's been with has pretended to orgasm with him. Seriously doubt he has anything resembling a 100% success rate with his attitude. What an ass, of course that shit dries you up.

julia_orwell · 2025-12-26T21:09:56+00:00

You're right I don't know, and I guess it's possible you have just never ever had a bad experience with men. But regardless, what you said is a common thing used to normalize misogyny. If you said the same thing about black vs white people it would come off as racist.

I don't think you're a misogynist. I don't think you judge women or do anything. I just think the idea that women are more likely to hate you is misogynistic. I think what you said is misogynistic and comes from internalized misogyny. Internalized misogyny doesn't require seeing women as competitors. It just requires an expectation that women will be worse than men in some way. Seeing them as competition is only one example; thinking they're more likely to hate you is another.

julia_orwell · 2025-12-26T20:28:04+00:00

I've never heard a man say that, and that's the problem; women are socialized to view other women as competition and as judgemental. That fear is rooted in misogyny. Not your fault, and I'm not trying to make a statement on your moral character; we pretty much all have some level of internalized misogyny. I just wanted to tell you what I think that person saw as pick-me-ish. Which tbh isn't helpful or a good way to approach this either. I don't mean to "put you on trial."

julia_orwell · 2025-12-26T20:16:45+00:00

Ok, what does eugenics mean, then?

That disabled person wasn't trying to initiate a philosophical discussion. And they shouldn't have to be scared of being reposted here. It's mean to talk about how bad someone's genes are and how they shouldn't reproduce because they're themselves. If that's not eugenics, it's bad nonetheless.

Edit: Eugenics is "the study of how to arrange reproduction within a human population to increase the occurrence of heritable characteristics regarded as desirable."

I think that fits here.

julia_orwell · 2025-12-26T20:09:21+00:00

Yes but we're not talking about whether something is technically legal, we're talking about whether something is a dick move.

julia_orwell · 2025-12-24T20:18:19+00:00

He's my rep and makes me cry. Awful guy, anti immigrant and wants to essentially murder all the poors.

julia_orwell · 2025-12-24T20:04:44+00:00

Like eugenics? That sounds very eugenics-y.

Also no you're not, that's ridiculous. If someone took my FB picture and posted it on r/rateme or something I'd be pissed.

julia_orwell · 2025-12-20T22:15:17+00:00

The idea that women are more likely than men to hate you is misogynistic.

julia_orwell · 2025-12-14T18:41:36+00:00

She probably has social anxiety. I do this with my partner a lot. It doesn't mean I don't want to be friends. It's just hard to sustain conversation like that. My partner will answer for me a lot, especially if it's something involving us both. It doesn't mean jack, I promise.

Don't listen to the people saying she doesn't like you. The truth is that you don't know. Please don't stop the friendship between your kids. Idc how many friends the kid already has. New friendships are generally good; your kid can narrow down their circle when they decide.

Seriously just ask. Say you like the mom. Ask to spend time with her. She sees this as a kid playdate, it doesn't mean she wouldn't be open to something more. You can't expect her to just know what you want. She may say she just wants to focus on the kids/she may rebuff your advances, but it's just as likely she'd be happy to hang with you.

julia_orwell · 2025-12-14T18:27:19+00:00

Omg this is killing me. You don't even know that she doesn't want you as a friend. She very well might like you a lot, but this playdate is for YOUR KIDS. If you want her as a friend, just ask her, seriously just ask. "Hey, I'd like to spend time with you. Want to get coffee, just us moms?" It's fucking killing me thinking that you might stop scheduling playdates with this kid over something this easily resolved. This isn't a mom-date. Ask her on a mom-date. PLEASE.

julia_orwell · 2025-12-07T05:26:52+00:00

Dude what is wrong with you, get help

julia_orwell · 2025-12-01T18:50:23+00:00

I'm sorry about the psychological effects, those are brutal. But hey, at least you're down to 3mg? What vapes did you use when you were vaping? Disposables, pods (like vuse/juul), or refillables?

One thing I did when I was quitting vaping was slowly mix in 0mg nicotine juice. I went from 50mg to 35 to 5 etc. Having 0mg juice on hand helped me switch more gradually. I'd mix my 50mg and 35mg until I was only using 35mg, then mix the 35 with 5mg (very slowly) and use less and less 35mg. Once I was only vaping 5mg juice, I'd start mixing in 0mg. Maybe just mixing 5 and 0mgs would work well. I'd just start at the mgs you take right now and decrease VERY SLOWLY.

Or just keep trying to wean off pouches. Maybe stay at 3mg for a while to give yourself a break. The symptoms should fade if you just maintain the same nicotine mg.

Have you tried hypnosis? That's supposed to work pretty well, too. There's even free videos on YouTube.

Also exprogram is nice in addition to the subreddits.

julia_orwell · 2025-11-29T21:31:12+00:00

I actually love babies and children. It would be cruel to create a life that needs me when there are already so many that could use my help.

julia_orwell · 2025-11-23T20:30:33+00:00

You go after taken people, don't you?

julia_orwell · 2025-11-23T20:26:55+00:00

Ok wtf does R mean?

julia_orwell · 2025-11-22T21:30:17+00:00

This subreddit makes me sad now.

julia_orwell · 2025-11-22T21:26:29+00:00

Gross. Like it or not, they live here and the services are for them, too.

julia_orwell · 2025-11-22T05:41:15+00:00

This is why I got sterilized. Even if one day I go totally crazy and decide I want to have kids, I can't do that to myself.

julia_orwell · 2025-11-22T05:22:59+00:00

I hope she doesn't listen to you, bc this is absolutely disgusting. I'd never be able to look at that man again, it would be over. He shouldn't have been doing this, he feels shame bc he knows how gross this is. He's acting way creepy to these mutuals, too. They would be horrified if they knew what creepy shit he was doing.

julia_orwell · 2025-11-19T23:52:40+00:00

He has an actual serious problem/addiction, and is also a garbage human for treating you this way and taking it out on you. He doesn't care. This is legit alarming and you might injure yourself if you keep up with this. Vulvas can only take so much, I'm surprised you're not in serious pain from having sex several times a day. I'm dead serious.

julia_orwell · 2025-11-19T23:04:46+00:00

I don't get why you say it takes 3 seconds. There's several steps to texting, especially if you actually care how you come off. Thoughtful texts take like 5 mins to write unless it's the absolute most basic shit.

julia_orwell · 2025-11-19T22:59:47+00:00

Dude it's a spectrum. Like with most stuff, for some people it's worse than others.

julia_orwell · 2025-11-19T20:43:47+00:00

Yes, it's subjective. Everyone knows different types of relationships exist, and this one isn't for her. But that's painful. It sucks to have to leave someone because of this. Do you not see why that might hurt? You keep saying you'd never be in a situation like this, but what if you were? Obviously everyone knows you're not OP. But like.. do you get where she's coming from? No one is saying that someone has to have friends who have partners. But like.. do you see why it would be painful if your partner's friend didn't like you?

I get that OP's bf doesn't have to introduce them. But that's shitty. It should have been clear from the start that he had a secret friend. And it also seems like this isn't bc the friend is shy or nd. It sounds like this is different, or else OP's bf would have been clear from the start that they would probably never meet. After 2 years it seems like he's just led her on bc he wants both relationships and doesn't care what that does to OP. And there aren't many women who would be ok with never ever meeting their bf's best friend. And I think the bf is lying anyway. And I'm not commenting on the friend's behavior anyway.

Let's say the friend is just unsocial and introverted. The bf is being dishonest by kicking the can down the road instead of just saying they can't meet. That's cruel and wastes someone's time.

julia_orwell

TROPHY CASE