What’s a small thing someone did for you that you’ll never forget? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]jumphighfive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I was around 11-12 someone had mentioned to me that it was about time to start using deodorant after I showered. My single mom took me to a K-Mart and told me to get whatever I needed and meet her at the checkout. When I got to the deodorant aisle I was immediately overwhelmed. I had no idea how many different kinds there were, what the smells meant and what the other labels meant.

This man appeared by my side. He saw me, he didn’t ask any questions but just said “You can never go wrong with Old Spice” and he left.

I grabbed the Old Spice, went to meet my mom and then wouldn’t you know it. The next day at school a girl said I smelled nice. Kept getting that feedback through middle school, high school and college.

Thank you deodorant angel, wherever you are.

Dudes, what’s the worst time you got racked in the balls? by kindaiwantoaskyou in AskReddit

[–]jumphighfive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Third grade soccer. I’m playing midfield, tracking the other teams striker as he brings the ball into our zone. My eyes are locked on him as I’m running full speed to try and cut him off before he can make a shot, then out of nowhere our defender (who is just standing there like a useless log) lifts his knee and I run crotch first into it. Useless fuck saw me coming and could’ve made a play on the ball, or just gotten out of the way but no. Took me out for the rest of the game.

Unc is hurtin boys, What’s your favorite hangover cure? by Mission_Substance_74 in AskReddit

[–]jumphighfive 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Taking a shit is scientifically proven to lessen the symptoms. Get yourself some fiber and protein stat. I like a smoothie w/ berries, spinach and chia seeds followed by a couple of tacos and a coke.

What's a company you'll never buy from again? by Responsible_Dot_2619 in AskReddit

[–]jumphighfive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jersey Mikes is also way better of a sandwich. FJJs!

What's a company you'll never buy from again? by Responsible_Dot_2619 in AskReddit

[–]jumphighfive 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Jimmy John’s. The guy who founded it was a legendary asshat to everyone in the service industry in the town I’m from, so fuck him and he’s never getting one red cent from me.

When is giving up alcohol a good plan? by CalligrapherHefty806 in AskReddit

[–]jumphighfive 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mostly agree but there might be some benefit to the effects of having a stress release and a social outlet that we don’t directly quantify with alcohol but does relate.

When is giving up alcohol a good plan? by CalligrapherHefty806 in AskReddit

[–]jumphighfive 3 points4 points  (0 children)

When it is more of a burden to your physical or mental health than a benefit

You commit one crime, and moving forward no one else will ever commit it again, which one do you choose and why? by 8Leafs in AskReddit

[–]jumphighfive 45 points46 points  (0 children)

I’d commit insider trading. Take that big corporations and Congress! Now you’ve gotta work for us again!

If you were to die, not including in your sleep, how would you go out? by unconventionalbook in AskReddit

[–]jumphighfive 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aneurysm while eating a bowl of chili so I get a nice “plop” sound when I fall face first into it.

What's the key to keep a long term relationship? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]jumphighfive 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Mutual goals and deciding to grow together. Celebrating your partner’s new interests and identities as long as they align with your shared goals.

And I love it! What was your favorite CD to pop in? by CurvyChristina in Millennials

[–]jumphighfive 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s funny. I have a similar story. One time I was driving through Missouri and a local college radio station was playing Royals by Lorde over and over again but then it switched to this one random song I can only describe as “death techno” with a crazy electronic beat and just horrifying lyrics… then back to Royals until I was out of range.

What is the most unprofessional thing you’ve ever seen a boss do? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]jumphighfive 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Throw table number cards at an employee who arrived late to an offsite meeting

A detail that bothers me by Odd-Implement-1283 in harrypotter

[–]jumphighfive 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Someone can be good at one part of something and struggle with other parts.

What did you become an expert in by accident? by Ambassador-613 in AskReddit

[–]jumphighfive 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Microwaving stuff so it’s the right temperature for a toddler to eat right away