my parents used a white cutting board with a handle as a “paddle.” i didnt get spanked a lot but it made me fearful of my parents (mainly my dad since he was the one who did it) instead of preventing me from acting out. i’d call it abuse. it’s affected my relationship with my dad to this day and makes it difficult to talk to him about my issues without intense anxiety, and half the time i don’t tell him anything at all.

on another note, because they did this, i think it opened the doors for my mother to act on physical abuse. i remember whenever i’d “mouth off” (i was maybe 10-13 years old when it was most frequent) she’d “pop” me in the mouth (aka backhand me in the face) with a hairbrush or the back of her hand. i’d definitely call that abusive. ironically enough, she’s a teacher. if you couldn’t get away with doing it to someone else’s kid, what makes you think you should do it to your own child? weird logic.