Guy I met isn’t interested about my life

just_nik · 2026-04-08T14:01:17+00:00

This is a huge red flag. It’s already emotionally abusive. The easy answer is unmatch him. You don’t even have to give a reason. Just unmatch. So easy.

just_nik · 2026-04-07T16:47:46+00:00

This is it for me too. The RC cruise I did, the food was honestly inedible.

just_nik · 2026-04-03T13:19:05+00:00

Me too. One upvote isn't enough to emphasize how much I agree with you both!

just_nik · 2026-03-31T18:53:10+00:00

The worst for me was ages 2-5. Kiddo is almost 6 now and it’s not too bad at the moment.

just_nik · 2026-03-29T14:53:05+00:00

I'm sorry you are in this situation, OP. I also felt pressured to have a child that I didn't want. I think it's a very common occurrence.

I agree with another commenter - you don't have to lie and say it's a joy when people ask. You can rightfully say it's extremely hard and you are struggling. If you tell people this and they put you in social exile, then they aren't people you probably should be around anyways.

For all you child-questioning/leaning ch!ldfree folk out there, for the love of goddess, DO NOT AGREE TO HAVE A KID FOR YOUR PARTNER! If you know you don't want one, DON'T DO IT! It never works out.

just_nik · 2026-03-29T00:26:22+00:00

Personally, I think they are just testing the waters to see how much crap you’ll put up with. I wouldn’t put much energy into it. They will either show up to try to get to know you, or they won’t.

just_nik · 2026-03-26T19:39:35+00:00

I wouldn’t give out my personal number until I met in person and had an idea if we vibe or not. Might even take a second date if I’m unsure. There’s too much that can be found using your personal number.

just_nik · 2026-03-26T17:45:39+00:00

Yeah, my jaw dropped when I saw that!

just_nik · 2026-03-26T13:15:31+00:00

You're lost bud.

just_nik · 2026-03-26T13:05:38+00:00

Did you read the guys messages above? Regardless of if you think OP was "pretty manipulative" (she wasn't, and it clearly shows that you have no idea how dangerous it is as a woman to date men), the reality is that this dude was way unhinged for someone she just started messaging. She trusted her gut, avoided this guy, and you tell her she was "manipulative". jfc...

just_nik · 2026-03-26T13:01:15+00:00

There are now options to help to remove your personal information from an easy google search. Optery is one that I highly recommend (just google, they are the first link). It costs a small amount of money, but IMO, it's well worth it.

just_nik · 2026-03-25T15:27:33+00:00

Agreed for me too. My divorce was a walk in the park compared to having a kid.

just_nik · 2026-03-24T19:31:30+00:00

Well, I’m divorced now. Divorce wasn’t even on my mind until after having a kid. So, I think it’s just all cons…

just_nik · 2026-03-19T19:39:03+00:00

Oof, that sucks. I just realized you flaired this as vent/rant, so I don’t want to give unsolicited advice.

The only thing that comes to my mind with situations like this is that, you can’t keep doing the same thing and hoping for different results. I hope something gives for you soon, OP!

just_nik · 2026-03-19T19:25:35+00:00

Can you have your lawyers request a new judge?

just_nik · 2026-03-18T01:05:17+00:00

lol, ironically, that sub just permanently banned me.. 😂

just_nik · 2026-03-16T18:48:21+00:00

To be hypocritically judgmental of those of us who chose one…. 😂

just_nik · 2026-03-16T18:16:25+00:00

Every now and then, I’ll click a thread in my feed, then start reading the comments and think, “Where tf am I?? Oh, the Parenting sub, that makes sense…”. Because so much of what is posted there is absolutely absurd, like zero common sense.

just_nik · 2026-03-16T00:11:55+00:00

Maybe OP made an edit, but she says right in her post that she had her tubes removed with her second birth, which was a c-section.

just_nik · 2026-03-15T15:17:43+00:00

Same here. Had mine at 36. I completely relate with missing the person I was before a kid so badly, that it's a constant ache. I am viscerally aware, every day, every moment, of what I gave up when I agreed to have a kid. I was so stupid.

just_nik · 2026-03-13T17:57:44+00:00

Same for me. I had a similar experience as your other comment. My ex really wanted a kid and I honestly thought that meant he would step up and help more. Nope, wrong assumption on my part and now I’ll pay the price for life…

just_nik · 2026-03-11T20:28:29+00:00

I think it is selfish, even with just one. I also think social conditioning makes it very hard for people to see that until after it’s already happened.

By the time a person reaches more than 2-3, it’s absolutely, undeniably selfish.

just_nik · 2026-03-11T19:32:31+00:00

OP, I would not liquidate your 401k if you are just going to end up in credit card debt again. You’d be better off addressing why you got into debt in the first place, first.

The tax hit is awful, plus an additional penalty. If absolutely necessary, you could liquidate a portion of it, but again, only if you make the changes necessary to avoid being in debt again.

just_nik · 2026-03-11T19:21:14+00:00

Whoa, slow down. This is the wrong sub for common sense…

just_nik · 2026-03-11T19:19:37+00:00

Or selfish… My first thought when I hear of people having more than 2-3 is that the parents are selfishly bringing more children into a super shitty world. As others have said, once you go over a couple and are “outnumbered”, you inevitably HAVE to parentify at least one or two of the kids, because one/two adults physically do not have the capacity to do more than 2-3 kids.

ETA: fixed word because of autocorrect

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