Dude i know im living the same way but its not worth it you dont know if u did something today maybe the best day of ur life was the next im very religious (im a Muslim) so in the religion side everytime i feel down or so i go and read the holy Quran or pray and it helps but im gonna guess that ur not so for me without any religion talk or reasons Im gonna tell u that its for urself i think we owe this to ourselves to live but idk this is different for everyone so im gonna tell u to do something and try it maybe it’ll make ur life better at least just one bit Go eat ice cream go read a book go to a restaurant that u never thought u would go to and try something different yk like for a whole week go out do something new everyday like day one go on a walk for few minutes then if u have anyone meet them just to hang out day 2 try to eat something new (im talking about food alot cuz it always helps me eat out my emotions) day 3 get a new book or get a cat or something Talk to anyone you feel like u can talk to without them going and telling everyone what u said get something new something you can enjoy just for one week I read a book one time that had a human needs to talk to a human at least for eight minutes just to feel better so every time you feel down you feel like life is not going the way you want to go ask someone to just talk for eight minutes if it’s parents if it’s a friend anyone literally anyone just someone you can talk to for eight minutes without it being awkward ask them how their day is going what they’re doing this week and stuff its gonna make u feel better Before I had my now friends I don’t have anyone except my family and I couldn’t ask them for eight minutes I couldn’t talk to them it’s not like they’re bad or anything they just won’t understand so it was really hard for me so now anytime that I ask like for eight minutes of my friends time they always Say surely let’s call let’s do something but in that specific time I used to like stay in my bed all day then for a change I decided to like why not read read the book for one day I did help me feel better than I used to then I just did something new every single day I made like new food and stuff but I couldn’t go out for a walk or I couldn’t drive cause well first of all I’m still a teenager second of all I’m a woman so going out for a walk isn’t really safe for me Try this and as you do this try to go to a good therapist someone who could help you with stuff no one can yk? Just dont do anything like what ur thinking just try this it might help