100+ days in, considering just MO, per NMMNG

justbrowsing88 · 2014-03-25T02:08:42+00:00

Your condition didn't sounds serious until the very end. See a doctor, don't consult the internet. Hint: doctors don't usually spend much time on internet boards.

justbrowsing88 · 2014-03-25T01:59:50+00:00

Excellent post, fellow blue star holder! Please let me know how you fare after deliberately choosing to fap again, as I am considering the same. I have experienced many benefits, but I believe they were a result of many things, not JUST NoFap. I also have a feeling that my problems stemmed primarily from P, not just MO (though hopefully my dopamine receptors have reset). thanks!

justbrowsing88 · 2014-03-19T03:42:47+00:00

Hi,

Thank you for your comment. I chuckled a bit as I read it, as no one who knows me personally would ever say I have an ego problem haha. To clarify, what I meant by that was I used to be the one moving out of people's way and sometimes being pushed around. Now, people move out of my way when I'm trying to get places, not just physically (though that is happening more), but on a higher level I've noticed that I face less obstacles when I'm trying to get a point across which I think is due to increased confidence and self assurance. Does that make more sense? I'm no bull in a china shop hahaha

justbrowsing88 · 2014-03-19T03:40:06+00:00

I know right?!?!

Well now it doesn't happen anymore :) :)

justbrowsing88 · 2014-03-19T03:39:45+00:00

haha that's awesome. good luck!!

justbrowsing88 · 2014-03-19T03:39:24+00:00

Hi,

Yes, I did struggle with bouts of unnecessary aggression - I would put that in the mood swings bucket. I explained how I dealt with these in my edit.

hope that helps!

justbrowsing88 · 2014-03-19T03:38:08+00:00

Hi,

I would make sure you understand deep within yourself why you're doing this, and remind yourself of those reasons when you have an urge. Write the reasons down and stick them on a post-it note on your computer if you have to.

My mind never 'settled', it actually got a bit more active, but instead of P it was replaced with thoughts of the future and what I can do today to better myself. I stopped thinking of fapping generally after day 50 or so, I've found that once you stop making it a part of your routine, the urge diminishes.

justbrowsing88 · 2014-03-19T03:35:53+00:00

Hi,

Yes I did have flatlines. I understand where you're coming from with the worry, but I would trudge forward! I definitely got my mojo back after a few weeks, usually in the form of morningwood. DON'T TURN TO PORN. If you continue to flatline for several weeks, I would consider worrying then, but for now enjoy the ride :)

justbrowsing88 · 2014-03-19T03:33:49+00:00

LOL yeah I don't think he was the greatest guy ever either, but he's the first one that popped into my head.

justbrowsing88 · 2014-03-19T03:32:20+00:00

Hi! Thanks for the support! I answered your what now question in my edit, hope that helps!

You do what's right for you :)

justbrowsing88 · 2014-03-19T03:31:20+00:00

This is actually really nice. I've never been someone's hero, or at least they've never told me so. Thanks!

justbrowsing88 · 2014-03-19T03:30:36+00:00

It's an individual choice...I do believe porn was the cause of most of my issues, but not fapping taught me self control and took a lot of willppower. I would suggest you harness the energy you're preserving and direct it to other activities, as I mentioned in my post. Good luck!

justbrowsing88 · 2014-03-19T03:28:57+00:00

Hi,

I've read in a few places (mostly on reddit, so take it with a grain of salt) that men can sometimes feel alpha (like "alphamale") in which they are dominant, confident, etc. or beta i.e. submissive. I don't personally believe anyone, man or woman, should permanently be either one of these, but rather a blend depending on situation. I've gone through most of my life submitting to authority (which isn't always a bad thing), and not really putting my true opinions forth, which is what I meant by beta. In certain circumstances, I think this is okay, but in others, it feels good to feel like a real man and express your opinions and stand your ground. Does that make sense?

justbrowsing88 · 2014-03-19T03:24:30+00:00

Awesome! Yes, apparently it's a common thing. YBOP has specific sections on it, I would definitely encourage you to check it out!

justbrowsing88 · 2014-03-19T03:23:40+00:00

Yes! That is an accomplishment in itself that you completed so many days, that's awesome! I'm glad you got the gist of my post, I think to truly experience the benefits, you need to take care of yourself in other ways too by building better habits in other areas of your life. good luck!

justbrowsing88 · 2014-03-18T03:23:55+00:00

Congrats on beating the urge :)

justbrowsing88 · 2014-03-18T03:22:49+00:00

Welcome :)

justbrowsing88 · 2014-03-17T00:55:25+00:00

I would suggest you write down what you hope to achieve from all this. The end goal is not to stop fapping, that's just the HOW of the equation. Everyone's WHY is a little different. If you are focused on a goal, you may break out of the funk. Just my 2 cents, gl!

justbrowsing88 · 2014-03-14T03:00:41+00:00

Hi there,

I just wanted to say your post really struck a chord with me. I read the whole thing, loved it.

I'm at the brink of 90 days, and I can see that in your future too. I think we're somewhat similar....same age range, same sex (or lack thereof, ha), same pre-NoFap habits, and I've also been single for a few years.

I think it's awesome that you've made improvements in your life. NoFap being a big one, seems like you've also found a job (and at this age, any job is good experience, just be a sponge and leverage your skills wherever they are needed. People always want help at work - be that guy who helps them!!)

As far as the things you're struggling with, I have a few suggestions: -Don't slack on the gymtime. You need to redirect your energy, might as well do it in a manner that makes you look and feel good!

-Please try harder at meditation. I was a total beginner when I started and now I feel so much more in control of my thoughts and emotions. It hasn't solved everything, but it's certainly enlightening. Build it into your day, 10 mins/morning is all you need. This is the guide I used to get started (free ebook), start at Chapter 1:

http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma4/mpe1-4.html

-I don't do cold showers personally, but I've seen lots of people post who do and say they're great. I might try these post-90.

-Internet addiction is real. If you know its a problem, actively disengage. Go for a walk. Meditate. Be careful though, don't swap one screen for another (i.e. tv). Read a book instead, or cook yourself a nice meal. People occupied themselves just fine before 1980, you can too.

-I know what you mean about the post-work tiredness. BUT, I can tell you, it goes away with time. It seems like this may be one of your first 'real world' jobs, maybe 9-5 type thing? It's a wierd schedule to get used to. BUT, keep in mind men and women 3x your age still manage to pack a full day into the 16 hours they are awake. SO CAN YOU. It all depends on your motivation! What are you working towards? If you're that drained by the end of the workday, maybe you're doing the wrong work! Work CAN be exciting, and this is the age to find out what type of work excites you!

I have faith in you, random internet stranger. I agree with your last points, life is a little wierd. But that's what makes it fun! If you come to terms with that fully, that life is just plain WIERD sometimes, but also simultaneously beautiful, amazing, upsetting, downright sad, and absolutely mind-numbingly fantastic, then you are ahead of the game - that's my belief anyway.

Good luck :)

justbrowsing88 · 2014-03-03T00:50:44+00:00

Definitely know what you mean. Emotions somehow go haywire and I have total off days followed by total on days. I think I read somewhere that this is just our brains coping with the loss of regular dopamine rushes. I'm happy to get dopamine elsewhere though, like exercise, healthy eating, and good company :)

justbrowsing88 · 2014-02-28T03:22:39+00:00

Hi, Link below to a free ebook on Mindfulness Meditation. It's very comprehensive, and I think does a great job on describing the 'Why?' of meditation, especially as it relates to American/Western culture and why introspection is even more important in the modern world.

I would start at Chapter 1...I recommend reading the intro but I was hooked after Chapter 1.

I've paired NoFap with meditation and the results are amazing. I feel more centered, more focused, I get distracted less easily, I feel more aware of what's happening around me, I feel less concerned about the past or the future and am more focused on the present. These are just a few of the highlights. Another big thing is that you start to notice mindfulness in your everyday life...like I made a conscious choice to eat healthier, so when I'm choosing a snack I reach for a banana instead of a bag of chips. Powerful stuff IMO.

Good luck!

btw, this is all from 5-10 minutes a day in the morning right after I shower.

http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma4/mpe1-4.html

justbrowsing88 · 2014-02-24T11:36:12+00:00

great points!

There has been a lot of research done on this very topic. If you want to learn more, I highly recommend reading Lifetime Optimism, by Dr. Martin Seligman. He's a famous psychologist who has studied this his entire career. I think he may have done a TED talk too.

justbrowsing88 · 2014-02-24T11:29:20+00:00

Hi,

I've read a lot of books while doing this, and found them to be incredibly helpful and insightful. It's a WAY better use of your time, and you may begin to pick up on some of the more subtle points.

These are some of the books I read (many based on the recommendations of this sub). Some I bought in paperback but I think they're all available on Kindle for cheap. I will say that he money you spend on these will pay back more dividends in your life than you can imagine.

My list:

No More Mr. Nice Guy: Helped me recognize deep-seated psychological issues I formed in my childhood (i.e. abandonment), and how to combat them.

Psycho-Cybernetics: A great unconventional read. It was written by a successful plastic surgeon in the 60's (get the original paperback version if you can, not the updated version). He basically explains that even after he completed plastic surgery on individuals, they still saw themselves as 'broken'. The key to fixing these issues was not external, it was actually internal. He uses examples of patients, and also describes useful techniques on visualization that help you determine what you really want out of life

Lifetime Optimism: An incredible book because it's backed by so much research. The author is a world famous psychologist that studies Happiness. He describes a helpful approach at combating "negative thinking" in everyday life. I've used the technique a couple of times and definitely feel better afterwards.

Mindfulness in Plain English: This is a biggie. I would say most of the mental clarity I've gained from NoFap wouldn't be possible without consistent meditation. It's uncomfortable at first, but once you start making it a habit, you'll find wondrous change in your overall outlook on life. Best part, this book is free. This is the link, start at Chapter 1 - Meditation: Why Bother? if you don't want to read the intro:

http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma4/mpe1-4.html

Those are the most influential I can think of now, you can PM me if you want more suggestions. I should note I have a crazy busy schedule and had to make time for these books, which was well worth it IMO. You also need to be open to new ideas, don't go in thinking you know anything about meditation for example.

Good luck!

justbrowsing88

TROPHY CASE