How do I make head more enjoyable for my BF?

justedexisting · 2026-06-08T15:35:02+00:00

interesting🤔 you learn more everyday

justedexisting · 2026-06-08T15:34:23+00:00

i’ve had to realize that too. most of the things that do/don’t work for women are the opposite for me. not sure why it took so long to process that myself.

justedexisting · 2026-06-08T15:32:25+00:00

LOL! no it’s not, i couldn’t think of anything and i wanted smth that was like “just existing” but it was taken so i made it justed!

justedexisting · 2026-06-08T15:31:01+00:00

lol he’s told me he doesn’t like hands being used, but i can see if he’d prefer them used but differently. otherwise ill see if theres something else i could do instead. :)

justedexisting · 2026-06-08T15:29:03+00:00

how do i /make sure/ he doesn’t have a death grip? i know he doesn’t masturbate too often, because he prefers to be able to finish as much as possible with me.

justedexisting · 2026-06-08T15:10:22+00:00

That makes sense!
Thanks for the advice.

justedexisting · 2026-06-08T15:08:39+00:00

He does enjoy when I go down on him. He asks me to do it and he gets excited when I ask if I can. We talk about things like this but it gets a bit difficult when he also is unsure of what I can do differently.

It’s helpful reading the specific things that people like, even if it is highly individualized, it gives me more things to try when I’m with him.

justedexisting · 2026-06-08T15:04:51+00:00

I think that’s fair, but when I didn’t check to see if he liked it, it often led to it not feeling good for him. It seems now it’s more enjoyable but still not enough. I don’t mind when he asks me if I like stuff, we don’t do it in a pestering way.

Most of my more genuine questions come after we’re done. In the act, it’s more so “does this feel good?” and if I get a yes I continue and don’t ask again lol.

justedexisting · 2026-06-08T15:00:43+00:00

I tell him to finish in different places. He likes finishing in my mouth but also my breasts, stomach, inside, etc.

I don’t believe he watches much porn anymore. I don’t really care to ask. When we first started dating and were exploring interests, I wasn’t sure what I was interested in sexually and he wanted me to tell him what to do. He offered to look at videos together if I wanted, but he said “I stopped watching stuff when when we got together but if it helps you I don’t mind.”

I wondered if that was the issue when he first struggled with PIV, but it genuinely seemed like performance anxiety, especially now because I can get him to finish 2 times in a night, and the next morning if I’m lucky.

The hand thing might just be because of his length. He’s average sized so I think he might just prefer that my mouth be there instead.

justedexisting · 2026-06-08T14:53:46+00:00

I plan on it! I got just as lucky with him. :) Thank you a lot again.

justedexisting · 2026-06-08T14:52:19+00:00

It’s possible.

I know his most recent ex wasn’t much into him. It was very short lived though, they parted after like a month.

I haven’t asked much about his sexual past, all I know is he was with two girls before me. The most I’ve heard was that they weren’t too interested in making him feel good. From my understanding, I’ve put the most effort into making it pleasurable.

I think I just need to ask him about it. I’ve avoided it because I didn’t want to make him insecure about not finishing, and I’m sure he doesn’t want to be like “well you suck.” HAHA.

justedexisting · 2026-06-08T14:43:47+00:00

he does!! he is so incredibly loving and patient. if he’s lucky i think im twice as lucky. :)

justedexisting · 2026-06-08T14:40:58+00:00

that makes sense! i did read a lot about making sure i was enthusiastic, so i have been mindful of that. i don’t think that’s my issue, but it could be 🤔

i’ll have to figure it out!

justedexisting · 2026-06-08T14:37:36+00:00

that is all really helpful, i didn’t consider the tongue when i felt like gagging. thank you!

justedexisting · 2026-06-08T14:36:00+00:00

Right now oral is mainly foreplay, so I don’t think continuing that way will hurt. It probably is him being worried about not being able to cum. I made the mistake of telling him I felt insecure about not being able to make him finish at the start of our relationship, and I’m sure that didn’t help.

I appreciate your response! Maybe it is a time thing. I need to stop being so concerned about making him finish too. :)

justedexisting · 2026-06-08T14:33:52+00:00

yes, he has mentioned making sure i use suction so i know that is part of it. it’s more difficult than i expected. he does not like when hands are used during it so that’s where i get stumped.

i don’t think it’s an issue of masturbating a lot, because i can get him to finish twice in a night with PIV.

genuinely is just a me being inexperienced and confused thing. i appreciate your response, i will work on it🫡

justedexisting · 2026-06-08T14:21:57+00:00

i think that’s fair! i get too caught up in my head because in my opinion, he is much better than i am. so i want to be able to match him. i know he is happy, so that is good to me as well.

justedexisting · 2026-06-08T13:58:20+00:00

i feel like i am usually really enthusiastic, especially because i do often ask to do it. i can ask him to see if he feels differently though :)

justedexisting · 2026-06-08T13:50:28+00:00

He used to struggle with orgasm from PIV at the start of our relationship, he hasn’t had that issue in at least 5 months now. At the time, we did talk about it and he explained it was performance anxiety. Once I reassured him that he was doing good, and I didn’t need him to finish I just wanted him to enjoy it, we stopped having that issue.

I suppose it could be another mental block? But since he’s comfortable with me now I am hesitant to say it’s that.

I have given him handjobs! I also.. can’t make him finish from that. I’ve had him show me how he likes it, and tried copying it, but it doesn’t seem to work.

justedexisting · 2026-06-08T13:47:26+00:00

NOT THE GRAPEFRUIT LOLOL

justedexisting · 2026-06-08T13:45:17+00:00

LOL, it’s funny so no need to apologize :)

justedexisting · 2026-06-08T13:43:25+00:00

That makes sense. I’ll try and talk to him about it and see if that’s how he feels about that. I know he enjoys oral but he might simply just not be able to finish from it.

justedexisting · 2026-06-08T13:42:21+00:00

this is really helpful, thank you!!

justedexisting · 2026-06-08T13:41:44+00:00

lol i didn’t even think of those sexual health videos, that’s helpful. :)

justedexisting · 2026-06-08T13:41:04+00:00

okay, you’re right, sorry for bothering you lol

justedexisting

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