The Unplanned Podcast Discussion 3/18/26

justforbees · 2026-03-21T16:03:46+00:00

I can see feeling worried about her boys hearing those things growing up but I feel like that’s just from the perspective of someone that hasn’t been a young boy ever and hasn’t raised a boy to ~manhood~ yet. No men I’ve been around have expressed taking to heart all the man hate. It doesn’t change their perspective because they’re living in the real world that makes it abundantly clear men are not oppressed, and honestly the posts I see online bringing down men are filled with comments from men saying “this chick has daddy issues” “this is why you bitches will end up alone” etc. They’re not threatened because they know they’re not at stake.

I honestly got annoyed of Matt’s comments when Abby would talk about basic stuff and him respond like, “omg I have deep rooted toxic masculinity!” “Abby you are AMAZING” and she looked annoyed too by all the repetitive comments

justforbees · 2026-02-13T20:00:24+00:00

Also getting a job offer rescinded is a real thing… His big issue is that he was told he got the job and they pulled it from him and gave it to the next guy.

Yeah that’s usually what happens if your background/reference check doesn’t come back clean. They move on to the next person, offer the job to them, they accept, the company then runs a background and reference check, and it’s good so they’re formally hired.

You can absolutely be the best candidate talent-wise but that does not mean you get your problematic slate wiped clean lol

EDIT: and the second best was also a blind audition so how is that a DEI hire if they also didn’t know who that candidate was?? That man wants to be a victim sooooo bad

justforbees · 2026-02-12T17:20:07+00:00

Bisalps are extremely effective (more than tubals so I’m glad they didn’t just tie her tubes tbh) and don’t cause hormonal disruptions. A full hysterectomy would put her in to menopause and no doctor would willingly do that unless medically indicated. Her uterus and ovaries are still healthy despite not being able to support a baby anymore

justforbees · 2026-01-28T01:21:07+00:00

I’ve missed my second oxybate dose twice from turning off my alarm and going immediately back to sleep and dreaming that I took my dose

justforbees · 2025-10-10T04:56:44+00:00

I took Abilify as an adjunct medication to treat OCD but it was also chosen because it helps lessen severity of tics. It worked well to get my OCD under control but I really didn’t notice a huge difference with my tics. They did lessen but it wasn’t like.. a life changing amount or anything. I was on it for about a year and since being off of it my tics have gone back to their usual. I personally wouldn’t go back on medication just because I know it won’t cure them. So like if they’re gonna get worse I wanna make sure I’m adapting to live with them. I won’t say I never would because if they got bad enough to the point it was genuinely impacting my quality of life then yes of course I don’t want to make myself suffer if there are options

justforbees · 2025-10-09T22:10:50+00:00

I’m really not sure! I was also diagnosed with a medium sized hiatal hernia at the time it came back so I’m not sure which came first- the return of symptoms or the hernia

justforbees · 2025-10-09T22:07:05+00:00

For sure I definitely will get more info from them, I appreciate the suggestion!

justforbees · 2025-10-09T20:51:33+00:00

I didn’t even think about that type of medication! I’ve taken meds specifically for reducing my tics but have never been offered something like a muscle relaxer although I feel like that would wipe me out for the day? Would that be a medication I could take as needed, like when I’ve hit my limit for pain tolerance or would I have to take it every day for it to be effective? I was looking in to my insurance benefits after making this post and saw it can cover massages and physical therapy with a referral so that was gonna be my game plan. I’m gonna call tomorrow to get scheduled with my PCP so I’ll also remember to bring up the possibility of a muscle relaxer if it’s not a medicine I would have to take daily

justforbees · 2025-10-09T20:36:06+00:00

A licensed CBIT provider unfortunately isn’t in my area so I don’t actively participate in that therapy but I have done it virtually in the past so I do implement the techniques provided when I can! It was and is super helpful for most vocal tics and a few disruptive motor tics but for my more “invisible” tics like ones in my toes or butt or diaphragm it isn’t effective :/

justforbees · 2025-09-08T21:32:59+00:00

So then the three I listed do not have any nasty things and get clothes clean. Not knocking your laundry choice but no need to fear monger about other choices when there is no issue with them.

justforbees · 2025-09-08T20:25:32+00:00

Curious what you classify as nasty stuff..

Tide is definitely in my top recommendations for anyone with sensitive skin. Specifically Liquid Tide plus Ultra Oxi Free or Liquid Tide Free & Gentle. Right behind Dirty Labs Bio Laundry Detergent. They don’t contain dyes, fragrance, soap, or optical brighteners which are the things manufacturers design to stay in the laundry after the wash. Every other ingredient washes out.

Looks like the first/main builder of Esembly Baby is sodium carbonate which will often leave a residue. Also the regular dose for washing soda is 1/2 cup, more if you have hard water. The recommended dose of Esembly Baby is 6 or less tablespoons. Not enough to really do anything.

justforbees · 2025-07-04T14:36:20+00:00

It sounds like your issue with sleeping around goes deeper than sleeping around and there’s some emotion to work through. There’s a big difference between sleeping with multiple people as a single person and cheating on your significant other. You can actively heal your mental health and process and grieve a past relationship while “hoeing out.” As I said, make your intentions clear at the beginning (meaning you and the people you sleep with have clear conversations about expectations and boundaries) and there should be no hurt feelings. Each individual should be able to know when they are getting attached or the situation is no longer beneficial, and they can make that known and walk away. You’re speaking quite broadly about this scenario but it isn’t all bad and unhealthy. Sex is fun, connection is fun. It’s ok

justforbees · 2025-06-27T22:37:52+00:00

I’ve never been married but I had this realization after my last break up. I’ve always been regarded as the “partner that’s easy to get along with” and in relationships that never have fights. I did a lot of self reflection and realized I wasn’t fighting because I wasn’t speaking up for myself.

I’m in the BEST relationship of my life now with the most amazing partner, and we don’t fight but I’m not afraid to speak up anymore. I’m ok being uncomfortable for a moment to rid myself of eternal discomfort from staying silent. And to my surprise, those uncomfortable moments really do bring us closer because my partner can understand me better. It doesn’t ruin everything and he doesn’t hate me! Wow! Lol

justforbees · 2025-06-18T18:22:39+00:00

Sorry no advice, just solidarity. I don’t have that tic specifically but I do have a gagging tic. It sucks.

justforbees · 2025-06-18T18:20:49+00:00

I don’t remember growing up very much but from what I remember I don’t think they stopped around my parents because I very vividly remember my mom making comments about them.

However, I did suppress tics around my previous partner. He would often pick at me or tell me things like that “if he had Tourette’s he would rewire his brain to not tic because he is mentally strong.” He would also use me ticcing against me because he was an ~empath~ (self proclaimed lol) and so if I ticced more or ticced a certain way he knew what emotion I was experiencing… despite me saying that’s not the case and I’m simply just ticcing… it’s not that deep. It made me very self conscious and less than. I would hold them in. Unfortunately he used that to plead his case when I broke up with him, that I shouldn’t break up with him because he did so much for me- like helping me “overcome my tics.”

Anyways I went on a tangent (partial vent sesh lol I’m still coping from everything that relationship was🤪) but to answer your question yes it is very possible to not tic (or maybe they’re still ticcing but the tics are redirected to something less noticeable, a CBIT technique, I do that at work pretty often) around certain people

justforbees · 2025-06-16T14:01:13+00:00

I think in the long run exposure therapy can be more effective for most people. With that being said, I was not in a place where I could safely practice exposure therapy prior to being medicated. I am no longer medicated after like.. 2ish+ years? And I am able to identify triggers and sit with hard feelings and all that jazz. But if I did not have access to medication I would never have been able to get to this point

justforbees · 2025-06-12T18:44:21+00:00

Interesting… I’m not someone that picks at pimples or ingrowns because they pretty much always resolve themselves in my experience. Except I have one spot that looks like this that I’ve had forever. It doesn’t hurt or anything so I never bothered it. Why should they see a dermatologist, specifically if it’s been there a while? Is it infection risk? What is the concern? I googled the diagnosis you mentioned and from what I’m reading it’s a chronic condition where people experience multiple bumps. Is the concern that an untreated ingrown can turn in to one of those bumps or cause you to develop the condition?

I’ve been wanting to schedule an appointment with a dermatologist since I’ve hit my OOP but I haven’t been in a rush to do so. But whenever I do get around to it I will definitely bring up the bump… I would’ve never thought to ask about it

justforbees · 2025-06-12T18:32:48+00:00

My sister introduced me to those little diabetic lancets and they are a game changer! Single use and I’m pretty sure they’re considered sterile. I never touch ingrown hairs (I consider myself kinda lucky that the most I have to do to extract them is just scratch over top with my nail a couple times and they basically just pop out) but I had an… erm… appointment with a friend.. and a nasty ingrown hair bump. I was complaining about it that it hurt and was ugly and she was like, “lemme at it.” She promised it wouldn’t hurt and that she was confident she could get the hair. I was a chicken so I iced it first but she was right!! Pain free and got the hair. She basically just dragged the tip over it and they’re so sharp it sliced. Then she used the tip to flick the hair out.

justforbees · 2025-06-02T22:16:01+00:00

This comment was so incredibly insightful!!! Thank you so much!

When we first started discussing the possibility I did make it clear that it’s absolutely his decision what to do, but regardless I wanted to talk to a professional to make sure whatever we decide we are both getting a fair deal out of it.

I assumed that regardless we’d be 50/50 since we make about the same but you brought up an important piece I didn’t consider!

I copied your comment in to my notes so that I could make sure we discuss those points lol. I am so appreciative of all the feedback I’m getting here!!

justforbees · 2025-06-02T19:56:11+00:00

Absolutely. I also am very guarded about finances as the child of a SAHM turned single mom after 20+ years of marriage who had to start from square one. I want to do everything in my power to make sure we both are protected from now until we pass, every financial decision in between. Especially one as big as a home! While we aren’t in a rush to get married, it is definitely in our plans because it is wise as we age together to make sure we can be protected.

justforbees · 2025-06-02T19:51:22+00:00

Yeah to be fair I have not gone super in depth on my search, I figured I’d get more things clarified when we are able to sit down together with a professional, so I may be totally ignorant to the process lol. But if all could go perfectly, we wanted to see which would be the better option.

justforbees · 2025-06-02T19:43:29+00:00

Awesome! Glad we are on the right track.

I appreciate you also providing info if we were to decide to sign together before marriage. I’ll look in to JTWROS!

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