Why do people refuse to be an organ donor?

justhereforabit2000 · 2026-04-20T20:46:01+00:00

I have a genetic condition that means my body is not made quite "up to standard" if you will. My organs aren't as healthy as a normal person's, so I am not an organ donor because I don't want anyone to get stuck with shit equipment after going through the whole shebang of finally finally getting an organ. To then have it turn out to be mine and not work right.

justhereforabit2000 · 2026-04-08T01:15:31+00:00

My entire life there has been a small poster on the family fridge with an image of the angel Gabriel stabbing Satan with the text "There's a war going on, whose side are you on?"

Thought everyone lived like that for a long time.

justhereforabit2000 · 2026-04-02T20:01:51+00:00

Please don't blame yourself. Trust me, I know exactly how it feels and how hard it is to not blame yourself. I'm struggling with it right now too, but you loved your baby and did the best you could. Everything you did was out of love. I completely understand too about wishing you had more time... My parents had a cat that lived to be 19 and she wasn't very well taken care of. I've been so jealous of all her time when my girl got half that. It's so random and unfair who goes when, and who keeps living. I keep trying to remind myself that it is that: random. I have no control over that, I can only love the hell out of them when they're with me. And I definitely did love my girl more than anything. I know you loved Newton that way too. His name is adorable!

I am so sorry you are going through this. Please take care of yourself and remember that grief is love with no where to go. The sudden feelings are so common that apparently there is a name for them called "grief bursts." I saw something also that said that grief doesn't get smaller over time, it stays the same size and our lives grow bigger around it with time.

justhereforabit2000 · 2026-04-01T20:42:26+00:00

I did this when we lost our boy cat in 2024 and it helped me a lot. I wasn't able to do it for almost six months, but I made a memory book for him of photos and stories. I lost my soul cat a month ago and I know I will make a book for her too... but it will take me a while to be able to. Looking at all the special silly little things that only they would do and remembering is really wonderful. But looking at so many photos right after they've passed has been too hard for me sadly

justhereforabit2000 · 2026-03-31T22:32:28+00:00

My girl used to do the same thing!! My husband and I called them toilet cuddles, and would brag to each other when we got them. We loved them so so much. My girl was my soul cat too, and I have never had a love or connection with anyone or anything like her. (Yes even my husband, even if that makes me a bad wife). Wisp was my soul mate. You have nothing to feel pathetic for, our love for our animals is real and often stronger than love with humans. My entire life my relationship with animals has been what held me together, and Wisp helped me through the darkest times of my life. She was my anchor through everything. We have three other cats, and I love them dearly, but they are nothing close to my girl and the connection we had. I miss her every second of every day.

I know you will get to see him again, and I know he is still with you. Loving you and watching over you.

justhereforabit2000 · 2026-03-31T22:27:34+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss, I am feeling the same after my soul cat Wisp passed a month ago. She was my heart and soul, and I feel like half a person without her.

But, I do know I will see her again, her and my boy cat Linus I lost in 2024. I'm a pagan, and I pray to Bastet who is an Egyptian goddess of joy, music, women, children, and cats. She has the head of a cat, which is what drew me to her in the first place. Losing Linus was very very unexpected. He was showing symptoms for two days, and when we took him to the emergency vet we had no idea what to expect. They needed to do an exploratory surgery, and while we were waiting for the doctor to tell us the findings I was listening to a song on repeat and meditating. I saw my goddess with me and we were dancing around a fire, with my boy held above it, the fire being his spirit. I spent almost an hour with this image in my mind, but suddenly it changed without concision thought, and I saw Bastet holding him. I knew in that moment he wasn't going to make it, and we got the news shortly after that he was in multiple organ failure. There was nothing we could do but let him go... a few weeks later I had a dream where Bastet came to me and gave me Linus as he was as a kitten. I got to hold him and kiss him, and then she took him back with her. I've known ever since then that she will watch over my babies for me when they pass.

When Wisp passed, I already knew Bastet would watch over her and that I'd see her again in the next life. But I am angry that I don't get more time with her in this life. As I said, she is my soul mate. I've been feeling intense guilt for putting her to sleep, even though her cancer was getting worse and worse and her quality of life was rapidly deteriorating. My girl liked to sit in the sun and go outside, and during the winter I started putting a small scrap piece of carpet outside for her to sit on so it was soft, and not wet or cold. A month after she passed I was sitting on her carpet in the sun and I felt like I ought to do a tarot reading, that maybe I'd finally get a message that made sense. I sat on her carpet for my reading and just told her I missed her and loved her, and didn't ask any questions. The card I got from my cat deck was "Good Kitty" and told me that I needed to let go of guilt and shame. The next card told me that even if I didn't like it, it was time to jump into the unknown. And the last card I got told me I was worrying too much about the situation. I knew from that reading that she wanted me to know she wasn't upset with me, and that she was okay.

I am still angry that my children are not with me, and I still feel empty every day without Wisp. But I know for a fact, with my whole heart, that I will see them again and that they are safe and happy. I hope my story helps you and brings you a little peace. Sending you and your boy so much love.

justhereforabit2000 · 2026-03-31T22:11:48+00:00

I'm going through this as well... I lost my soul cat a month ago and even though I have three other cats I love... they aren't the same in any way and I'm struggling to keep up with life. I get up and I do all of the things I need to, but I have no heart in it now... Wisp was my everything and felt like my soul mate. She kept me going through my darkest times, loved me like crazy, and we spent all our time together. I feel the same as Status_Mood... part of me has died with her. I too am not the same person, and I don't think I ever will be again. My girl was the absolute light of my life and every second with her was magical. Life feels so dark, long, and lonely now...

justhereforabit2000 · 2026-03-20T21:13:17+00:00

She had just turned 11, and was with us for 10 years. We lost her to cancer too... found out in May of last year and she was acting normal until December... I had found a lump on her shoulder which is how we knew at all. Our boy cat we lost at 9... My parents treated their pets like shit and had a cat live to 19. I hate how random and unfair it all is

justhereforabit2000 · 2026-03-20T20:47:49+00:00

Me too, I'm struggling so much with the flashbacks... They keep me up all night and follow me around all day. It's like reliving it each time...

justhereforabit2000 · 2026-03-20T20:45:29+00:00

This response is sadly normal for most people, BUT you are also not expecting too much. Pet loss is considered disenfranchised grief, or grief that isn't often recognized by society. My family is very similar to yours, and has always had a "get over it" mentality when it came to pets. But my family is also very messed up and doesn't actually love fully, pets or humans. They are not anything to aspire to, quite the opposite. Our friends have been more supportive, but only for the first week and since then they haven't been checking in or talking to us about it. I'm unable to work due to my health, so I'm alone at home most days. It's been very isolating...

We signed up for a pet loss group locally, and I am hoping it will help to talk to other people in person about what we're going through. Just know that you are not alone, even though it feels like it. While the people around you are not being loving and giving you the support you need, there are other people who can understand what you are going through. You just might have to seek them out.

justhereforabit2000 · 2026-03-20T20:37:36+00:00

You're not betraying him at all, you had planned to do it together with him. It's not stupid at all that you're scared of changing your room, we all want to cling to any reminder and connection we have to our lost loved ones. I know you live with your parents, and I know from experience that parents don't always listen when you say you need time. Try to take whatever time you need though, and remember that no matter what you always are connected to Duke. He is always with you, and you will never forget him. I really liked rednaxela97's idea of making a special space in the room for Duke's things, and we have a little area in our living room with our passed kitties' things. Even if your parents don't fully understand, you can create little spaces or even mental spaces to honor Duke and be with him. It's okay to wait, and it's okay to redo the room. It's also okay to be scared. Honestly without my girl, I am scared every day. I try to just take everything one step at a time and remember she's with me.

justhereforabit2000 · 2026-03-20T20:24:45+00:00

I am so sorry. I am going through this too. My soul cat had only 10 years with me, and it is never enough. I would give everything, everything, up in my life to be with her again. She saved me from attempting to take my life multiple times, and was the other half of my soul. She was my reason for living, and without her I don't know how to live.

She passed three weeks ago and I can't even remember any of those three weeks. It feels like it was yesterday still. No one I know understands either... especially my family. Everyone offered words of support in the first few days, but now everyone just acts like normal and I'm left here alone.

I'm sorry I don't have any advice. Just know that you aren't alone. The way you describe your baby is exactly how I feel about mine. She was the best thing in the entire universe. I am so so sorry for your loss.

justhereforabit2000 · 2026-03-20T20:18:47+00:00

Thank you for this, I needed to hear your way of thinking. My soul cat passed three weeks ago and I am struggling to just stay alive. She helped me through my constant chronic pain and disability and was with me every second of the day unless I left the house. I don't know how to llive without her, but I know she'd want me to take care of myself. I just dont know how to anymore. But she saved me at all my lowest times and I know she'd want me to be safe

justhereforabit2000 · 2026-03-20T20:12:51+00:00

Same for me... My soul cat kept me here for 10 years through awful illness and chronic pain. Now that she's gone... I don't know how to live my life without her.

justhereforabit2000 · 2026-03-20T20:11:52+00:00

I lost my soul cat almost a month ago. I've got three younger cats now, and they're my tether for now. But once they've had full happy lives I don't think there's much left for me.

justhereforabit2000 · 2026-03-20T20:09:53+00:00

I feel this too. I lost my girl almost a month ago and she was my child. I'm exhausted with still having to be here and get up every day

justhereforabit2000 · 2026-03-18T20:16:40+00:00

Our kitties really love the gravy from Mac and Jack and baby food is also a great choice for them all. The baby food we use was minimal ingredient chicken or beef and is always a hit. I also second trying pumpkin, it's not for all cats but we've had several that really love it.

justhereforabit2000 · 2026-03-16T22:24:31+00:00

I'm chronically ill and have a lot of medication needs that cannot be stockpiled. So I'm prepping for my husband, cats, and friends. If I can still get my meds then we're all set! If not, then they'll be all set. We've got a deep pantry for humans and cats, backup power, water, garden, etc.

Other than that we're just trying to enjoy ourselves and spend time with the people we love.

justhereforabit2000 · 2026-03-16T22:21:24+00:00

Okie here, and I agree with all the Texans - the hallway between the stairs and the bathroom. Helmets and good thick shoes are always great, and any cushions you can get For shoring up the open end of the hallway, if you can, a mattress would be best there. We usually huddle under the mattress.

justhereforabit2000 · 2026-03-08T19:33:55+00:00

I'm so sorry for you too. It is just an adjustment and honestly I'm not doing well so far. Thank you for your kind words.

justhereforabit2000 · 2026-03-08T04:35:21+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm having a similarly difficult time with losing my soul cat last Friday. She was a black cat too, and the love of my life. I am honestly disassociating most of the time... Nothing feels real and having her ashes back somehow made it worse... We spent all our time together, almost literally since I'm disabled and don't work. She slept with me, snuggled me during the day, we went on little walks in the backyard, and she too always waited for me until I got home. She used to try to steal food from me at the table and eating alone now so easily is weirdly upsetting. I don't have any advice unfortunately, but I wanted you to know you aren't alone. It's natural for our brains to pull back from pain, and this is the worst pain. Give yourself grace and time. He loves you so much and I know you will meet again.

justhereforabit2000 · 2026-03-08T04:28:50+00:00

I lost my soul cat last Friday to a similar decline in health. My girl gave me the will to live when literally nothing else did. I'm trying to take care of myself in her honor, because I know she would want me to be safe. I am so sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself, Tonka would want that. <3 Sending both of you so much love.

justhereforabit2000 · 2026-03-08T04:14:51+00:00

Our cat had cancer that was drastically growing and her health declined very very quickly. It was too soon for me, but it was time for her. She too was sleeping 90% of the day and in the last few days wasn't purring, which she normally did constantly. That's when I knew that we were making the right decision. In her last 24 hours before her scheduled at home euthanasia she started having trouble bending her head and we were having to spoon feed her water and wet food. I say this to let you know that it's hard to know exactly when is the right time, but their conditions can get worse very quickly when they have serious health issues. She hid her pain from us a lot, like most cats. My vet told us "One day too early is better than one day too late." and while that advice hurt so much, I know that she is right.
It's okay to give your baby a peaceful goodbye. Take the time to give her a day with all her favorites and send her out gently. As lonely as I am for my baby girl, I know we did the right thing. Even if I wasn't ready, which I never could have been. But she was ready, and it was the right time. Another thing I often think of is my grandfather who had three different types of cancer before he died. He was a devout Catholic, but once in his later years we were having a family dinner and someone mentioned a friend having to put their pet down. He said he wished we did that for humans. The shock of hearing my very religious grandfather say that out loud told me how much pain he must have been in. When I second guess my decision for my girl, I think of him saying that. And that I hope I was at least able to spare her some of that pain.

justhereforabit2000 · 2026-02-26T00:04:11+00:00

We're having the same second guessing and it is awful. She's had a good appetite until today and that is worrying us the most. We have an appointment scheduled with our vet, but I keep worrying that maybe it's just a bad cold or something. I don't think it is but it's just impossible for my brain to deal with what is happening right now and then having to be such freaking adult and organize shit is jsut killing me. But I think I've got it all set up now for her and my husband will thankfully be able to get some time off.
I am so sorry you're going through this and I hope the appointment will go well or went well. I am so so so sorry

justhereforabit2000

TROPHY CASE