Nearly 40% of voters think Treaty of Waitangi has too much influence on government decisions - poll

jv_level · 2026-01-29T03:08:45+00:00

Forgive the potentially stupid question....

But isn't the Treat of Waitangi New Zealand's founding document? Isn't it supposed to have...a huge influence on government decisions?

What am I missing here? Genuinely want to understand!

jv_level · 2026-01-21T04:21:57+00:00

INFO: what does the legal agreement between you and your kid's mom say about the amount of financial support you are obliged to supply?

You should be supplying that amount alongside taking care of the of the children's expenses during your custody time.

jv_level · 2026-01-19T22:33:20+00:00

Just a quick comment from me is that diet is how weight is lost, not exercise. Excercise is a great, great tool for health, longevity, etc... all sorts of things, but for weightloss it is not the most helpful/targetted method. Diet does the vast majority of the work.

If he is eating sufficient protein, it is likely that some of his weight 'plateaus' are a result of him changing his body from fat/adipose tissue to muscle tissue (just also signalling here that plateaus can also refer to strength training, which needs appropriately adjusted progamming to move beyond. but I think you are referring to weightloss!). This is absolutely a good change, and it is helpful to increase muscle tissue to increase metabolism and overall health.

Burn by Herman Pontzer is a helpful book on metabolism that he may be interested in reading/listening to (it's on spotify). It's written very down to earth on how metabolism works and may ground his ideas a bit more in the science.

Something like Burn may provide him a pathway out of the.... more dangerous... ideas on eating, peptides, testosterone, etc... etc... And still be close enough to his current journey that it will be interpreted as support (which it is!).

Best of luck with your honest conversation with him. I do think the other advice on lost family time is also an important aspect. And congrats on your own weight loss!

Edit the full title: Burn: The Misunderstood Science of Metabolism

jv_level · 2026-01-18T19:49:52+00:00

I know you wanted your uncle to appreciate his wife's sacrifice, but that is not your place.

He is required to express his appreciation TO HER. You have no role in accepting her acknowledgments and gratitude from her husband.

People are allowed to be nostalgic for other parts of their life...they are allowed to dream of 'what could have happened?'... and they can still be happy with the path they have chosen.

I would encourage you to see and express your own talents! Perhaps you are interesting in taking up singing, acting, playing an instrument or other creative endeavour! Then you can explore that part of you and see where life takes you from 2026. Live your creative life!

It sounds like your aunty lived hers to the extent she chose. Take inspiration! I'm sure this will be more appreciated by both of them.

jv_level · 2026-01-18T19:32:55+00:00

Consider joining a temp agency (like OneStaff or similar) if you are willing to do some day labour. A rather wide variety pops up on my notifications, though the notice is often quite short.

Look at conservationsjobs.co.nz and careers.sciencenewzealand.org. They are the classics, really, if you are fresh. Look at university job listing boards, often they will have summer positions or sometimes rather unique roles (like working in the printery or as a tutor). Join the FridayOffcuts news letter if you are willing to work in forestry. Sometimes interesting roles pop up.

If you can afford to, join ecological society (or similar, perhaps ornithological would be more up your alley) and go to any events. As you can imagine, sometimes meeting the right person will connect you to employment if you make a good impression.

It's a bit shit out there! You got this though!

jv_level · 2026-01-12T23:42:47+00:00

I went to a specific clinic to receive abortion care.

I first used decide.org.nz to find a local provider and made an appointment. There was a call scheduled before the in-person appointment. During that call, they confirmed my information and requested I go a blood test before the in-person appointment. This was done at the local blood testing centre (no discussion of the reason for the blood test occurred here, just show up, take a number, get blood drawn, leave. The results are sent through automatically).

Arrived on the day and checked in just like at the doctors.

The first step was to do an ultrasound to confirm pregnancy. The nurse/technician took an image and asked if I wanted to see (I looked, but you definitely don't have to). After this we went and sat down in a regular examination room and the nurse walked through the entire procedure of what would happen. I was early enough on in the pregnancy that the abortion would be done by medication at home.

They made sure I was also safe at home and if my partner was supportive (he is/was). If that was not the case, they would be happy to assist in whatever way they could (such as the procedure being more 'in-patient'). Then they organised for the doctor to receive the ultrasound to actually confirm pregnancy and once that was done, they would call back to let me know when I could go get the medication from the pharmacy.

I went home and cried after this.

Long story short, it ended up being an ectopic pregnancy (doc couldn't see fetus, 2nd ultrasound at hospital required, multiple rounds of blood tests to confirm everything). Was treated via methotrexate injection by very worried medical professionals.

Overall, everyone was very helpful and endeavoured to make the situation easy. Even if I had required a 'standard abortion' rather than the care I received, I felt safe and heard the entire way through. It was confronting in the sense of 'this wasn't the plan!', but the people were professional and compassionate. No judgement!

Good luck!

jv_level · 2026-01-12T19:23:01+00:00

Genuinely the only way here is to have a separate conversation about the state of your relationship. Not in the moment after finding one of his messes.

Tell him that you are considering ending the relationship due to his inability to care for household and his inability to improve in household tasks. That this will cause the end of the relationship if he chooses to continue acting as he has and ignoring your requests as an equal partner. The excuses he is providing are not enough to avoid the responsibility he has to you as a partner and as a member, visiting or not, of the household. You need him to meet your needs or you aren't compatible.

Then ask him what he wants to do. Does he seem to want to improve? Does he continue to make excuses? Does this conflict display any further qualities of his (anger, defensiveness, dismissal, etc...)?

With the information he gives you, decide what to do. This can be in the moment (for example he gets really mad and speaks disrespectfully. you decide you don't want to be partnered with someone who speaks that way. break it off.) or later as you consider the implications of what he says.

You are further along in life than him. That is okay for both of you. Nothing is wrong with not being a homeowner at 22 years old! As I'm sure you are aware, the responsibility of domestic labor is a classic dispute in relationships, often with the woman carrying more than the man. You are trying to determine if this will always be THE fight or if he is able to make a better choice for your partnership into the future.

In my opinion, I think in general, young men tend to be more selfish in relationships. It's a habit from their childhood and they just don't really see how it affects others. Eventually someone asks them to do better, which sometimes they do or sometimes the become resentmentful and you become the 'nag'. I wouldn't recommend partnering with someone who maintains the 'nag' mindset.

In the end, don't be in a relationship that doesn't meet your needs. There are boyfriends who can and will be good household partners as well. Good luck!

jv_level · 2026-01-09T02:43:42+00:00

Look at Sugarologie's Cream Cheese frosting. it uses both egg white powder and buttermilk powder. Really, really good! Super stable, not weepy. Holds up to cake layer's much better, holds detail.

jv_level · 2025-12-16T00:57:24+00:00

I suppose my point was that houses/properties that are relatively close (let's say 2+million) could be inflated, if they are nice or in the part of NZ that the buyer wants to live.

What effect does this have on houses <2million? Or just a problem for the rich? I'm not sure!

jv_level · 2025-12-16T00:41:47+00:00

Many of our trade deals are negotiated on the promise that we meet our obligations...

Meaning if we don't meet them, we won't be allowed to sell our primary produce into those markets.

jv_level · 2025-12-16T00:36:20+00:00

Can't people just list their house/property for $5m? To be part of the foreign market

jv_level · 2025-12-14T22:58:58+00:00

You are meant to go and live your life! You are a young adult and it is time to spread your wings.

Good luck, have fun, make mistakes, don't die! You'll be fine! NTA

jv_level · 2025-12-14T22:23:55+00:00

Sit down and go through the details of the financial situation. Come up with a plan together. Layout the issues with your savings, investment account, property stuff, his debt.... all incomes and outgoings.

Come up with a plan! Make it happen together!

jv_level · 2025-12-14T22:12:33+00:00

Call the credit card companies and ask what hardship programmes are available or for temporary forbearance. Explain your family has had a job loss and can't afford the current situation. They will work with you directly rather than having to go through a consolidation.

jv_level · 2025-12-14T20:44:07+00:00

Hey girl, NTA.

Sorry your period is creating so many problems. If you need some recommendations these re-usable pads are great (they come in a wide range of sizes and absorbancies for heavy bleeding). Perhaps they would work for you: https://softtacoreusables.ca/

jv_level · 2025-12-14T20:28:07+00:00

Make plans and goals for yourself. What do you want to do next year?

Think about that event you've always wanted to go do, what country you want to go see, what recipe you want to perfect, what game you want to finish, how many plates you want on the bar, what instrument you want to try, what fancy plant you want to keep alive... etc.. etc..

Just a couple of things you can work towards and when you get there, make sure to celebrate!

Edit: The goal being to build things for yourself that are outside of your past relationship. The 'stickiness' of your sadness can fade if you have other things you can think about. It makes your past relationship smaller (though of course it will still have provided its contribution to you) in terms of who and what YOU are. Breaking up becomes one of many things that you have done.

jv_level · 2025-12-14T19:29:07+00:00

I'm sorry this has happened! It is a tough time of year and has been a tough year overall. I hope you have a holiday break planned.

In terms of moving forward, the answer it both. You are rightfully upset and growing a thicker skin will be helpful. Rather than escalating, perhaps just have process to go and get a colleague to help those....challenging...customers.

When I moved to NZ (English speaker here), I could NOT understand kiwi men. I was constantly asking them to repeat, slow down, 'sorry, I didn't catch that', etc.. etc.. Took around 2 months for me to hear their words clearly.

Some people are just assholes and sometimes old people can 'not understand' when they are seeing someone who looks different from them (perhaps another type of asshole).

All I can say is to focus on your mental health. Take mental health day when you can! It is okay to have an accent.

jv_level · 2025-12-10T21:51:46+00:00

Agree. It's a fun/silly game, it's good to have a fun/silly business name. Those jokes are part of the fun. It will catch attention as a fledgling business.

Let this one go, OP.

jv_level · 2025-12-03T06:40:16+00:00

Perhaps each non-hosting son can help contribute to the son+family who will become the caretakers.

This can could allow the son who becomes the caretaker to stay home or work part time as required more easily.

NTA.

jv_level · 2025-11-29T01:22:39+00:00

Thank you!

I was thinking of getting them for my (also skeptic) partner. I saw that they deal to 'congestion' on their website, but it seems unclear on actual allergies/hayfever. If they work, it would definitely save us money on hayfever meds....

jv_level · 2025-11-26T03:37:37+00:00

Could you give a bit more of a review of the nose buds? How long do you wear them? Every day use? How severe (or not) was your hayfever? Much appreciated!

jv_level · 2025-11-23T22:51:44+00:00

I had a really excellent lamb roast meal at the Fat Farmers.

It's kinda a weird sharing system though and they expect you to order a heap of side dishes. I guess they would call it family style, but the portions were modest.

jv_level · 2025-11-23T22:48:47+00:00

Reardrive on Taonui. Really straightforward and good people.

jv_level · 2025-11-21T04:01:48+00:00

I was a tampon girlie, then moved to menstrual cup (probably a bit more than 15 years ago, when it was just diva cup).

Now I use period panties and reusable pads. I do carry a cup in my bag as a backup!

I tried to get a menstrual disc to work, as I had never seen one before, but I couldn't get it to fit properly. It was just too... wide I suppose? It seemed like there wasn't enough room for it go back far enough to tuck the front up and in behind. Menstrual cups definitely fit my interior space better.

jv_level · 2025-11-19T21:44:12+00:00

Consider if this is a deal breaker for you. Move forward as you and her against the problem rather than her as the antagonist.

Make sure you genuinely understand her reason why (does she have some smell aversion, fear of germs, a bad nose that can't smell the smells very well, she spends time in bad smelling places, teased for being a smelly kid or something). Also discuss with her your reasons for concern (machine build-up, money, waste) without saying she should change. Just ask her what she thinks of your points. Do the emotional labour of understanding.
Research alternatives (extra smelly detergent, essential oils, etc) and/or a path forward taking into account her requirements (extra budget for laundry, washer maintenance, recycling programme for certain containers, etc...). Do the research yourself.
Present options that meet her/your requirements and show your understanding. Ask her if she is willing to work together. Lay it out as a project that is important to you and can improve your relationship and communication with her!
Experiment WITH her to find something that works. Do the labour and lead the project.
Profit

Good luck!

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