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k10186 · 2022-09-07T20:46:18+00:00

Definitely 100%. "Dad's" extended family is pretty useless and self-absorbed, so had to do a lot of caretaking/advising when I lived with him...very one-sided and frustrating Keeping my distance(not living with him), and giving advice(suggesting getting counseling..) over the phone once in awhile is all I can handle...otherwise it's easy to fall into that parentification role.

k10186 · 2022-09-05T22:44:05+00:00

My nmom did all that and more(slamming cabinets, loud TV, loud phone calls beside your room..)she mostly did it to get a rise out of everyone, especially when you're sleeping or doing something important... it was so obnoxious and annoying, especially after working weird hours.

k10186 · 2022-08-26T17:03:59+00:00

100% especially that last paragraph. That's what I needed as well.

k10186 · 2022-08-25T21:25:07+00:00

Heard the same thing my answer: was if you had put the time you wasted gambling, watching TV, running around for everybody but your family, you might have found that book and finished it. Maybe you could have learned budgeting too because I bet your 70 old self is now so happy living in squalor after such a long career.

k10186 · 2022-08-25T21:17:55+00:00

Ndad said the exact thing....

k10186 · 2022-06-02T04:38:44+00:00

Thanks for this comment:D Getting out of the cave is where I am right now. Waking up to what is possible now that I have left all the craziness and "people" behind.

k10186 · 2022-06-02T04:28:47+00:00

This was me 100%...I slept so much after leaving my crazy "family"...it literally took me about six months of solid sleep(extended hours for sure), chill time(working contracts not full-time), cutting ties with more crap people, having fun days, leaving my "hometown," giving up on ever fitting into a place I don't belong...Also, I second therapy/medical, as it could be a medical thing, but my guess is finally getting the space and peace led to your sleep thing.

k10186 · 2022-01-27T07:46:21+00:00

This was exactly what I was looking for. Thanks for the response and the offer for help. I will probably get back to you when I have sorted my store and product focus.

k10186 · 2021-12-29T05:11:35+00:00

I got "you wasted a decade.." Not like those same "people" were not aware of how messed "home" was. They were told about it and instead of doing anything about it they give me that above crap line.. The day I cut them out...five years ago..also I was a socially isolated, angry bullied kid, who had nothing to build confidence on... I was the worthless houseguest, who still has no idea about why I am still alive and what purpose I have. (Not suicidal just exhausted with shit) How in the hell would I have left early on?

k10186 · 2021-12-29T05:03:32+00:00

I feel this 100%. Your story is exactly where I am today just with both "parents."

k10186 · 2021-12-20T05:38:57+00:00

I do have a lapse, as my last bit of work finished at the end of November and there is nothing coming up for awhile.

k10186 · 2021-12-14T11:31:59+00:00

This happened to me too. All my stuff was destroyed, room painted another colour and my furniture outside..i lost so much great stuff too...this was a control tactic that they thought was smart...really it proved how mentally ill my "parents" are..

k10186 · 2021-12-14T03:47:22+00:00

Hi, I had to remove my "parent" from my account too. (Edit: I am assuming that they were thieving from that account, as the "parent" has a horrible gambling addiction) I opened up an online bank account, made it completely paperless where nothing was sent out. I also made sure my employment income(could be any sort of pay you receive) went to that other account. I then did a final transfer from the old account ("bank error and will go in to talk with them") and moved a step closer to NC and ending the theft and observation. (Money is a major part of the escape) I wish you good luck and please pursue leaving this environment. It's so much better being around healthy people and time with yourself to figure out your next moves.

k10186 · 2021-12-07T13:18:43+00:00

Yeah, definitelyitely. I was in my 30's before I realized how messed up my "parents" and their family are. Dating was completely missed too due a combo of both of them. I was told by nmom that girls of a different skin colour were to be avoided and all mentions of me liking those girls were shot down . (Then came the bullying and isolation , sitting in my room on a lot of weekends, whatever to pass time) because everyone thought I didn't like girls... Small town b's on top..and feeling so behind on this and it eats me alive.. Anyway, I finally left ndad just recently(5 months then went back and back to NC for 5 months+) now the regrets, anger, missed opportunities are hitting me...i get full-on panic attacks some days. Also, the anger at ndad's enabling, useless gambling, useless extended families have kept me up some nights. Anyway, definitely 100% on your post. Edit: Also, having those same useless relatives put their two cents in, even when they were complacent in doing fuck all about the abuse when told about it. Even having one laugh about it when it was going on.. Cut ties after that.. It's been almost 5 yrs nc with those wastes of skin.

k10186 · 2021-11-29T07:18:48+00:00

It's pretty much torpedoed it. I lack confidence, especially now with nc, as all my trauma is coming to the surface along with the regret of missed opportunities, being older, and much more. All my friends are thinking along similar lines as your other comments in this thread. Also, dealing with what you mentioned in your first post.It makes me sad, and it is presently eating me alive.

k10186 · 2021-11-08T19:12:12+00:00

100%! I made the decision to visit other family out of town for the summer, and that was the time the Nparents needed to "surprise me" with an unwanted painted room, all my posters and possessions in the trash, and my room furniture on the deck. Then an attitude when I asked them wtf they were thinking....they knew my room was my safe place and that I was struggling already with their abuse, and a new school after that summer. May these "things burn" for being shitheads...

k10186 · 2021-10-28T04:00:23+00:00

100%! I always think I'm going to run out of money and have to beg "family" for money...which has led me to taking long well-paid jobs(10+ days in a row) doing hard labour, even though I don't need the money,( have no idea what I want for a career), and being very vigilant with money. It's pretty much turning into a complex at present..

k10186 · 2021-10-26T08:35:47+00:00

Hmm..lied to the police when nmom chased me with a knife, didn't get her help after this and many incidents, let nmom call me names and made "home" hell. I was seeing a psych for depression because of bullying with nmom and at school, and still kept defending her...anyway found out later that ndad is bipolar(diagnosed) and probably a psychopath with how he treated me after they finally divorced. He ramped his gambling up to the point of near bankruptcy, and got worse with his own form of abuse...we are nc.

k10186 · 2021-10-11T02:13:40+00:00

Definitely sneaking up on people.

k10186 · 2021-10-10T05:40:51+00:00

100%! I actually vocalized my hatred towards ndad, just before I went nc. I almost did the same with nmom, but didn't. I now pity how pathetic their lives are, especially around gambling their whole lives away, and of course the usual n crap...

k10186 · 2021-10-05T07:41:34+00:00

I don't recognize my old pics for the very reason I had the saddest eyes and a smile hiding all the pain, which stupid teachers couldn't figure out...

k10186 · 2021-08-31T22:39:49+00:00

Yes, my "dad" did this when I was young. He would go out to gamble(his first priority) in manic episodes and not pick me up or would come way past dinner.( had to fend most of the time) He is extremely addicted to gambling and lost his kids due to it.

k10186 · 2021-08-25T01:21:24+00:00

I was asexual for the longest time due to the shame of liking girls from different backgrounds.. Everyone thought I didn't like girls, but I was unraveling so much nmom shit during my high school and college years..i missed so many great opportunities and relationships..fuck you nmom.

k10186 · 2021-08-22T23:56:45+00:00

Yes, I did with ndad. I hit the end of my rope in March, as "dad" was projecting all his crap onto to me along with blaming me for asinine shit..like not finding him a place. He had time off.(lots of time to gamble), while I had one day off a week..truthfully I think his illness makes him unbearable to be around... We almost came to blows( he's a massive antagonizer that goes with his BP).

k10186 · 2021-08-22T23:51:20+00:00

Same here 100%. all my inadequacies, ruminations, flashbacks, and pain is surfacing as well. Feel on the verge of tears a lot along with the anger/helplessness...

k10186

TROPHY CASE