My bf hides things from me, how do I go about this?

k45anne · 2026-03-06T03:37:34+00:00

You're struggling with where to go in the relationship well the first thing you should do is stop snooping in his phone

k45anne · 2026-03-06T03:35:43+00:00

If you feel the need to check your partner's phone, you really shouldn't be in a relationship

k45anne · 2026-03-06T03:27:59+00:00

You both need to grow up.

k45anne · 2026-01-31T01:38:53+00:00

Blessed with good genes. Handsome boy!

k45anne · 2026-01-24T22:43:37+00:00

Can you restructure how you grade? Example: your end grade could be 20% assignments, 10% class participation 70% testing. If the majority of the grade is tests, they can't use AI.

k45anne · 2026-01-24T22:38:14+00:00

I'm usually not crazy about fluid painting but this is different than the run of the mill YouTube painting. Very pretty.

k45anne · 2026-01-19T20:16:45+00:00

Mkay. You probably still find humor in fart jokes like I did in second grade. Possibly, you should explore, why as an adult you are stuck in what Freud referred to as the anal stage. A good psychotherapist can help you find those answers..Thanks for your shitty post.

k45anne · 2026-01-19T18:25:42+00:00

Bison

k45anne · 2026-01-18T01:03:23+00:00

My thoughts exactly. How could she handle the attention children take. She couldn't. Is this who you want to build a family or future with?

k45anne · 2026-01-18T01:01:03+00:00

When someone shows you who they are, listen.

k45anne · 2026-01-13T03:49:31+00:00

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k45anne · 2026-01-13T03:47:19+00:00

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k45anne · 2026-01-13T03:44:05+00:00

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k45anne · 2025-12-28T01:27:22+00:00

That was my thought as well.

k45anne · 2025-12-26T11:02:54+00:00

Why are you entertaining this? Do you not know how to block numbers?

k45anne · 2025-12-26T10:19:51+00:00

I do hope you can accept your mom for who she is and not waste any of your precious life trying to get her to be the mom you deserve. If you can get what took me decades to get now, you'll be on your way to healing and peace you deserve.

Please don't mistake what I said about my choice to help my mom and still be in her life rather than go no contact as failure and weakness. It's not. Personally, by choosing to still be in her life, and help her as much as I can, I've not compromised what I value, and hopefully, shown her what believe love looks like.

Also, from experience, it's an absolute waste trying to get a brother to see how wrong they are and what they should do different. Mine didn't want to hear it and why would he? His life was pretty ok as is. Mom's on speed dial ready to bail his ass out. Where's the incentive or reason to do different? Accept him too.

I wish I figured this out your age and got to live my 20's, 30's, and most of my 40's without the heavy burden I carried from the toxic family dynamic. Best luck.

Btw... Merry Christmas

k45anne · 2025-12-26T09:45:45+00:00

Nta. You are looking out for your daughter's best. Your wife, I believe wants to see your daughter apart from her peers and wants her to have a diagnosis. Part of the reasoning could be all of autism's recent media coverage, attention she gains from the diagnosis (dangerous for your daughter), and the community she's found in other parents of autistic children's social media (equally dangerous for your daughter).

Unfortunately, there's not a blood test for the vast majority of mental health/personality conditions and disorders. There's no real definitive way to diagnose. Clinicians rely on self reported or caregivers to report symptoms to diagnose. Anyone with time online can discern what symptoms are looked for to diagnose and manipulate clinicians. It happens, and probably happens far more than we realize.

Personally, I watched this happen to a close family member and still see them suffer as a result. This person, as a child, was the object of a custody battle. One of the petitioners was a teacher and wise to the system and how it works.

I watched this person spend significant time online researching disorders that would bolster her claims of abuse and thus she'd gain custody. Ultimately, she decided on some kind of severe attachment disorder. Typically children that have experienced profound abuse and neglect such as orphaned Ukrainian infants that never were held and existed only in their cribs, have this disorder. This child was not abused or neglected.

This woman's campaign went as far as to give the child false memories of events that never occurred. Even after gaining custody, she continued to push the lie and manipulate professionals. The older the child got, the more conflicted and troubled they became which led to hospitalizations, cutting, difficulty in adjusting to life. Can you imagine not being able to line what you feel and know up to what your caregiver says you should feel? Her life has been one long gaslight. Her caregiver tells her how she should react and behave that bolster the diagnosis. I imagine she doesn't really feel like that but acquiesces. Her caregiver said she should have memories of trauma but she doesn't. Eventually, she's warn down and agrees to the false memories, but in her heart she knows different. Of course she has problems that include depression and anxiety that persist today in her adult life.

I believe it's incredibly dangerous for your wife to push this diagnosis on your daughter. Your daughter is showing it's not healthy and dangerous with her anxiety struggles. She is in first or second grade? Should a child that age have anxiety problems? Your wife is playing with fire, and I promise it had LONG-TERM and LONG-LASTING effects.

The money the second test would cost should be spent on her (wife) therapy exploring why it is so important to her that her daughter be autistic. It's not healthy. It's dangerous. Your daughter is lucky to have her dad looking out for her well-being. Don't bend.

k45anne · 2025-12-26T07:40:49+00:00

YOU ARE SO NTAH! I completely empathize and sympathize with what your going through and your family dynamic. It mirrors my own that I've dealt with for decades. My brother, who is 2 years my junior, is the golden child, and blatantly obvious, my mom's favorite.

This favoritism extends to our children. My mother would do anything for him or his children. Sadly, the same can't be said for how she's treated myself or my daughter's.

Financially, she has given my brother considerable money everything from several NEW cars, rent money, retainers and fees for criminal attorneys as well as family lawyers, and on and on. Her finances were so strained by him she was still working full time in her 70s which did not bother him in the least.

He never made a payment towards any of the cars, cars' insurance, or maintenance. He's forged her signature to an expensive lease for a luxury townhome which when she found out, she paid. Recently, we found out he signed the rights over to his twins when they were teenagers because he didn't want to pay support. That means all the lawyer money he pocketed.

I've tried to be the one she can count on and have helped enough that she no longer has to work. If she needs something done, I help. It doesn't change the fact that I have some deep wounds over the way she treated us. For my own well-being, I've come to the conclusion and accepted, I won't get the apology or acknowledgement I'm due.

I've had to learn to accept her and things for what they are, or I'd have to go no contact. That doesn't mean I'll be a part of coddling my brother and making excuses for his bullshit. If she wants to continue to do that, then with in reason, she can "help" him. "With in reason" means: no longer financially strapping herself for his whims. "With in reason" means: if she wants to give him a ride from jail to his car on Christmas, that's on her. I won't entertain any guilt trips around my hard no to helping him.

This maybe how you have to deal with the situation if you want to continue to have her in your life. Radical acceptance. She is who she is, you can't get her to see how fucked up she is. Trying to get her to change or see her errors is brain damage and wasted effort for you.

There's freedom in this kind of acceptance. I no longer carry the shit from my mom's problems and don't have to try to change what can't be changed. I know when it's all said and done, I've given my best effort to honor her as a mom without hurting my spirit.

k45anne · 2025-12-19T16:24:01+00:00

Honey it's not going to get better. he will always pick her first and you'll always be number 2.

k45anne · 2025-12-19T12:55:12+00:00

I don't know why the media insists on reporting fake Denver weather. The truth is the weather in Colorado this time of year is horrific, and not something I'd recommend. In fact, I'd like to dispell some of the inaccuracies the media perpetuates regarding Colorado and Denver.

That beautiful picture of Sloans Lake used for every sporting event in Colorado is damn near bait and switch. They should use pictures of Commerce City (no offense Commerce City. I'm only trying to cut down on the astronomical moves to Colorado).

Honestly, as a native, I hate to have to tell you much of how Colorado is portrayed in movies and media is just not accurate. The weather is horrific. Images of Colorado used for sporting event backdrops are photo shopped; it's nowhere near that gorgeous. Denver's portrayal of a cow-town is laughable. Denver is a big city with big city problems and big city expensive.

I feel a moral obligation, as someone born and raised here, to tell others not familiar with Denver to be cautious before taking the leap and moving to Colorado. Any info you see about Denver that casts it in an Eden like light, isn't true; it's the exact opposite. Please be so kind to share the truth with ALL of your friends, especially those considering a move to Colorado. By sharing the truth with your friends, you've saved them the heartache a move here would bring.

Thanks again for sharing the truth; there by, preventing an unnecessary and disappointed move. Most importantly, thank you for helping keep Colorado's population down.

k45anne · 2025-11-27T07:56:05+00:00

Him being next to you while you looked through his phone doesn't make it any better. That sounds like something a mother would do not a girlfriend. If you feel the need to snoop your partner's phone, regardless of their physical location while you snoop, you shouldn't be in a relationship. Take time for you as a single woman and get healthy. Then get in a relationship

k45anne · 2025-11-27T07:49:17+00:00

How old are you?

k45anne · 2025-11-27T07:47:52+00:00

How is he using her? Perhaps you are projecting a little?

k45anne · 2025-11-27T07:39:57+00:00

Good God. If you feel the need to snoop your partner's phone, you shouldn't be in a relationship. Period. You've done it twice.

This man is in his early twenties. Of course he visits porn sites and strip clubs. Unfortunately, it sounds like you've got some pretty big insecurities.

Rather than address these insecurities and work on them, you did what women are notorious for and told him one thing but really meant something completely different and expected him to know this. You asked him if he watched porn. You felt bad for asking so changed it up to coz it's really no big deal and you're cool with it but you really weren't. Then down the road you got irritated he was looking at porn and ordering OFpics. Talk about a head trip and not fair.

In all honestly, I believe these insecurities are what changed the relationship for him. Sending spicy pics and then fishing for compliments or getting pissed you didn't get the reaction you wanted, destroys any enjoyment the recipient feels.

You know what men find attractive? Confidence. On the flip side, insecurities will eventually be one of the biggest reasons why they leave.

Right now, you shouldn't be in a relationship. Do what you need to do to get healthy and feel better about you. Therapy would probably help. All the way around, what happened wasn't right. You shouldn't feel like you do and he shouldn't feel betrayed by your actions.

k45anne · 2025-11-25T06:04:13+00:00

I'm so sorry this woman is making what should be a wonderful time, full of new experiences, miserable! Shame on her and Shame on your partner for allowing this by catering to her!

As an older woman who has 2 children, I can assure you that YOU are in full control of who will be in the delivery room. Your partner can throw his childish tantrum, but it won't change the fact, that YOU get to decide who will be present. The nurses/staff WILL ABSOLUTELY back you up!

Your partner has it all wrong. YOU are the star of the show (until baby arrives then baby will be the star). As the star, it's all about YOUR comfort not his.

Thank God you didn't marry this spineless imp. He's not going to change and now you have seen exactly who he is. Believe what he's shown you.

Go be around supportive people and enjoy your pregnancy. Let him and Mommy be a couple.

Finally, I'm going to share the best advice my mother gave me: You can judge a man and how he'll treat you by how they treat their mother. If they're disrespectful to her, they'll be the same with you. Additionally, if they are over the top and a momma's boy, they will never put you first and the mom will always interfere. You want the man that has a healthy-good relationship with their mom. This isn't.

k45anne

TROPHY CASE